Saturday, September 21, 2019

In which the pond studies the headlines, and as it usually does, settles for prattling Polonius ...


These days the pond is generally content with a review of reptile headlines. Culture wars? Just a few basic chords will do …

And that's how the pond came to realise that the reptiles were frantic at the impending march by upstart youff, which required all hands on the denialist deck the entire week, and nary a meaningful sighting of the impudent youff in today's tree-killer edition …


Banish the youff, and all will be well, and what an heroic and valiant effort it's been for the dog botherer…and never mind the absurd contradictions …

 

So invoking the term "denier" is the exact opposite of academic rigour, but flinging around "alarmist" is the epitome of academic insight and wit?

And that's why the pond sticks to the headlines. Why plunge into the depths with a blithering idiot, given to much blathering? By end of week, the dog botherer seemed to be flirting with the joys of fascism, and the triumph of the will of the people …


And the diligent Lloydie was also beavering away through the week …

 

Yes, it's all hype … and coal lovers were being persecuted …


So desperate were the reptiles that even an expert in medieval science - some might even think she qualified as a medieval scientist - was hauled into the fray …


The pond always loves it when the reptile groupthinkers berate others for groupthink. How George would have approved …

What else in this survey of reptile headlines, on the basis that the pond prefers to be strangled in the shallows for fear of getting too deep? Well Dame Slap and our Adam went the biff …

 

Sheesh, and the confusion this day even spread amongst the denialists …


Oh to hell with the giant sawfish, Bjorn says, and who can argue? How they love to be Bjorn again, these humble reptiles …

Meanwhile, anyone who thought that the onion muncher was a useless lump of irrelevant dog droppings on the streets of Manly had to think again …


Speaking of woke, the pond made the fatal mistake of plunging into dashing Donners latest outing. At first the pond thought that it would have to ignore Donners, what with it being a piece about depression, the black dog, suicide and such like …


And then the pond came to this ...

They can't let it go, can they? The culture war stuff …but it did help explain why dashing Donners was routinely pathetic. 

The next time someone in deep distress comes to the pond, the pond will know what to say: "Have you thought about reading a little Homer? Lost your partner, children, job, home and now squat under the bridge over the way from the fish market, until they move you on? Heck, perhaps you should do a course, and learn to read Homer in Latin. That'll fix what ails ya, and send that black dog whining into the harbour …"

Or some such thing. Perhaps Beowulf instead, but only after rigorous study of old English ...

There were sundry other sightings … the usual transphobia, conscription, with Bergin showing the way by being the first recruit, it being more useful than scribbling crap for the reptiles, and the bromancer telling SloMo what SloMo must say …

  

Well somebody's got to do it, Bernard, right? Better than being conscripted into some army? And how pleasing to see SloMo carry out the bromancer's orders …

But by end of week, the pond was exhausted just by scanning the headlines, and the sense that somehow NSW had never made it into the new millennium …


Well it's better than the tedium of doing a report, eh Barners, and so the pond turned, as it usually does, to prattling Polonius …


There's something comforting about the endless moaning, whining, whinging and wailing of  Polonius, like a well-chewed pair of slippers, or the perfectly boiled egg produced by the Aldi machine thingie bubbling timer …



Yes, in the land of the one eyed Polonius, it's outrageous that other one-eyed people refuse to share his one-eyed view, and it resulted in an interesting insight into Polonius's psychological make-up - not that the pond expects any to share its interest in desiccated coconut ….


Sheesh, and the pond was marvelling at how dashing Donners couldn't let it go. Polonius is still prattling about an outrageous slight he suffered back in the late 1960s?! That'd be like the pond still brooding at not being leftist enough to score a job at ABC radio in the 1970s…

Just let it go, you ancient mariner muffin … turn your attention to climate science ...


Ah, and where's the dog botherer to deplore Polonius's use of the term eco-catastophism? Somewhere off in the ether blathering about alarmists … and no he's not a denialist, he just denies climate science, and by the cleverest ways … by not actually talking about the science, or real world observations, or the latest developments  … just sly talk of "but not all" …

You know, in the same way that 99.99% of reptile correspondents are barking mad Catholic fundamentalists, coal lovers, climate denialists or delusional culture war lovers of Homer and songs celebrating rape … but not all ...

Well the pond is a convert, and other true believers were out marching and waving banners …


The pond swears there was no post-modernist, post-ironic intent. This was in Melbourne, where all is sincerity and great wetness … and Polonius had plenty more trolling to do, as well as celebrating that idiot Angus beef ...


Is there a corollary? Do the reptiles hear what they don't want to hear? Do they listen? Do they produce a conversation? Not on your nelly, not when Homer is the likely solution to anything that ails you …

As for Polonius, it was surely wrong to say that only Alan Jones and Andrew Bolt pose an immediate threat to children. Polonius's tedious droning poses a threat to everyone, from the young to the ancient … anyone who comes within range of the persistent, invasive low frequency humming, rumbling and droning ...

And so to a Rowe, with more Rowe here, featuring SloMo riding the range with the Donald, and a thought from the infallible Pope, with the pond regretting the uselessness of linking to a paywall …



And that leaves the pond where the reptiles started, with climate denialist men of titanium …

 


5 comments:

  1. First Dogs cartoon read while listening to Pink Floyds,Alans psychadelic breakfast is quite a trip

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poor old Polonious should try and argue his case with scientific facts against climate change after all he will be long gone by the time the earth has warmed to such a degree that life will be almost intolerable.
    The Murdocracy do not argue on science but use propaganda to belittle any scientific argument.
    What is so sad with the debate on climate change is that a lot of older generation argue that it is just normal weather pattern. Droughts have always been part of Australian weather systems and will not be altered by a change in behaviour so we should ignore the increase in carbon dioxide since the ever increasing use of coal and motor vehicles spewing out exhaust gases from a source of increased population in the eighteen hundreds to now coming upto 7 billion or more.

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  3. "Is there a corollary? Do the reptiles hear what they don't want to hear? Do they listen? Do they produce a conversation? Not on your nelly, not when Homer is the likely solution to anything that ails you …"

    Quite so, DP, quite so. Have I ever mentioned "psychological projection" before ? Just in case I haven't, here's a bit of a definition:
    "Psychological projection is a defense mechanism people subconsciously employ in order to cope with difficult feelings or emotions. Psychological projection involves projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else, rather than admitting to or dealing with the unwanted feelings."
    https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/psychological-projection-dealing-with-undesirable-emotions/

    And boy oh boy, are the reptiles great projectionists or what. And by the way, The Conversation is not "government funded" at least not primarily.

    But I do love the way that Polonius sticks to his claim of 45 million famine deaths. Of course, nobody actually knows how many people died of the Great Leap Forward famine between 1959 and 1962, but there's a wide range of estimates. If you are at all interested, check here:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Leap_Forward#Methods_of_estimating_the_death_toll_and_sources_of_error

    But if you do, then remember that the 'natural' (ie non-famine) annual death rate for China back then was roughly 8 per 1000 (it's about 7.1 per 1000 now), or, given the Chinese population of about 540 million at the time, roughly 4.3 million per annum. Or roughly 17 million 'natural' deaths during the time of the famine.

    And maybe a small comparison with non-socialist, non-communist, non-Left Ireland is germane ? In the Great Potato Famine in Ireland (1845 to 1849), approximately 1 million Irish people died of famine and famine induced disease out of a population of 8 million (and another 1 million emigrated just as quickly as the ships could carry them away). To repeat, 1 million Irish out of a total population of 8 million. And not a Leftyist academic in sight anywhere.

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  4. Remarkably, and I'm as surprised as you all will be when you read it, a solution to the waffle has arrived.

    And what's more surprising? It arrive din the pages of The Australian today. Buried a very safe distance from qualified experts life Kenny and Henderson, you'll find a piece by Alan Kohler that proposes a ground zero for climate science debate. I don't know how to cut & paste, so will leave it to experts, but here is the teaser: when royal commissions were called for the Banking Sector and for Protection of Children from the church, how did Scott Morrison and The Australian respond?

    "Jolly good idea" they all said didn't they, "some clarity and clearing of the air will do the nation some good." didn't they? Oh, okay.

    Over to Alan....

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  5. "As a follow-up to the ‘climate strike’ that kicked off on Friday, we need a royal commission into climate change." https://www.theaustralian.com.au/subscribe/news/1/?sourceCode=TAWEB_WRE170_a_GGL&dest=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaustralian.com.au%2Fbusiness%2Feconomics%2Flets-have-a-climate-change-royal-commission%2Fnews-story%2F180af54d5cb85b12c7df0848aa41b560&memtype=anonymous&mode=premium&v21suffix=74-a

    ReplyDelete

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