Monday, March 14, 2016

In which brave Barners does battle with the zombie of the north, and if Scream is any guide, the reptiles are terrified by the maniac stalking Malware ...

Oh dear, another day, another EXCLUSIVE ...

But the pond knew that Barners might be in trouble, knew it from the moment the Terrorists rushed to attempt a comical rescue ...

Never underestimate the thrill and appeal of horror movies, Terrorists ... 

No wonder he's terrified, no wonder he's organising press conferences. But when Barners speaks ...

And speaking of horror shows - dear absent lord, they were horrible shows - there's another one that exercises the reptile mind, such that right now there's never a moment's peace in the pond's herpetarium ...

First, credit where credit is due to Mark "the livewire forelock tugger" Day for keeping the controversy alive and hopefully fanning the flames of sell, sell, sell ...

Well played sir, well played, but things have moved along a little since those distant days, and sadly other parts of the front page show that a stake through the heart is never enough ... 

What were those rules again?
  • You may not survive the movie if you have sex or read the lizard Oz;
  • You may not survive the movie if you drink or do drugs or rely on Malware;
  • You may not survive the movie if you say "I'll be right back", "Hello?", "Who's there?" or "It's never been a more exciting time to be an Australian."

Oh and always be worried if there's a dangerous psychopath roaming the corridors ...

See how the ongoing horror movie of the booing supporters transfixes the reptiles ...

And look, there was one of the pond's direst danger signs. It's never been a more exciting time to be a wall puncher ...

Just in case anyone wants a link to that moment, rather than a screen cap, Charlie's tweet is here.

The insolent rebels are joking about the speeches of the galactic overlord and are still plotting to bring back the death star.

No wonder the reptiles are rattled, and none so rattled as terrified Troy, shouting out "Danger Mal Turnbull, Danger Mal Turnbull ..."

Yes, Troy rolled out a litany of thought crimes ... before raising the spectre of the Ruddbot himself.

Not the Ruddinator!

But if Laurie Oakes told Troy, then it must be true, and so we must get down with the comparison:

Dire mutterings, imprecations and veiled threats, but all the pond could see was an episode of The Twilight Zone, in which Bill Shatner saw a frightening vision through the 'plane window:

Oh okay, it was this way in the original:

But is there any significant difference?

That shadowy, ghostly, ethereal figure, roaming the corridors like a maniac with an axe. Or a leer ...

Which is why the pond welcomed this meme doing the rounds. Thanks Terrorists, at last you've turned away from the dark side, and so the pond can turn away from silly Jekyll and Hyde movie metaphors, and so the republic might, in due course, be saved ...


  1. Egad, none other than Mark Day ! Now that's a real fart from the past.

    I used to read his 'Truth' regularly because it had far the best chaff bandit form. Way better than the Ageless or the Hair-Oiled Scum.

  2. Howard didn't advise Abbott to just dump Hockey as Treasurer, but to appoint Malware in his place. That was the nub of little Johnnie's advice; nobble Malware's leadership ambitions by making him an offer he could not refuse. Nothing to do with the hapless Joe, really.

    It was pure Howard political strategy, and the media still can't see past the dumping of Hockey.

    The guy wasn't PM for 13 years for nothing.

  3. Nah, definitely not nothing, he did it for the $250,000 pa pension plus $300,000 pa other expenses.

    But he also took his own advice and shut Costello into Treasury all that time. Though it didn't work out totally for Bo Bawke, however it did keep Keating otherwise occupied for quite a few years.

  4. Howard. Cunning as a shithouse rat with the ideology of a minor court functionary.

    A combination guaranteed to keep this country locked in the '50's. We will suffer from his baleful presence for the next generation.

    Words cannot describe the contempt I feel for him, though I'm sure Keating would have had him well summed up somewhere.


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