Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Day 8, and there's only one name on everybody's lips ... Sur mes lèvres ...

(And more excellent Rowe here).

There are many temptations this day wilfully designed to cause the pond to deviate from the proper course.

There's the siren song of Lloydy getting agitated about tricky windies ...

What a contributor to climate science that Lloydy is ...

And the Fairfaxian attempt to find a replacement for Paul Sheehan deserves a round of applause:

Sadly that turned out to be of the click-bait trolling standard that infests the rest of L'Age's digital edition.

No, not even the Caterists could sway the pond from its chosen course:

Strange how no one seems to get agitated about the huge unfolding Liberal funding scandal in NSW, at least in Murdoch la la land ...

But no, there's a name on everyone's lips, and the name even appears on top of the lizard Oz this day:

Ditch the cuts? Why that's as catching as Fill the moats with climate scientists ...

You see, the reptiles are enchanted by Abbott and his legacy, and perforce the pond must be enchanted by what enchants the reptiles.

Yesterday they managed to drag a story out of a bit of Abbott petulance about the need to support the rogues of Asia, and coupled the splash with a pointed message ...

Naturally it became a featured item in the news ...

... even though it turned out to be just another plug for Quadrant ...

Meanwhile, the name of Abbott is on everyone's lips, frequently coupled with the new pet phrase "Del-cons".

There was the 'send in the hounds' man himself:

The hounds man wasted no time before letting the hounds loose here ...

Reading the media you could be forgiven for thinking that the main Easter news was all about whether Tony Abbott should, or not, campaign in the forthcoming election. The political reality is that whatever Abbott says during the election the chances are that it will be another story of dysfunction within the Coalition. In other words it will be a help to Labor. 
Only the "del-cons", otherwise known as the delusional conservatives, would think throwing Abbott into the election is a good idea. And anyway, let's face it: Abbott has never been popular with the electorate. 

The hounds man didn't hold back, and the poor rabbit took a fearsome savaging:

Liberals would like to think that Abbott is going to support Malcolm Turnbull but the evidence of Abbott's behaviour does not back up their hopes. It's much more likely that Abbott thinks he is preparing his return, with his former chief of staff, Peta Credlin, helping him by apparently joining Sky News. If that is his real ambition, he will be remembered as the leader of the del-cons, all three or four of them. 
If Abbott wants to ever get back into a useful role in politics he needs to preserve the respect that many have had for his past efforts. If he keeps undermining Turnbull, especially in an election when MPs are working hard to keep their seats, then the former prime minister will soon find that his legacy is seen as a present to Labor and a disaster for good policy. 

And there were others in Fairfax getting agitated ...

Of course if Peatling had the interests of the pond at heart, the question should have been Why would you solve a problem like Tony Abbott? (with forced video), when he keeps on giving a chance for satirical copy ...

A couple of days later there was Abbott posting a picture of himself with British Prime Minister David Cameron, offering his thoughts on national security in Quadrant magazine and then suggesting he should be put to use in marginal seats. Clearly this is a man who wants and needs to be busy. All that cycling does give one a lot of time to think. 
Former Liberal leader John Hewson suggested a formal role in the federal election campaign. "He won't go away, so I think you give him a role," Dr Hewson told Sky News on Sunday. "Define the role very carefully and encourage him to be judged by his performance." 
Not a bad idea. 
But what job could the former prime minister be given? 
Perhaps he should be given the job of looking at the merits, or otherwise, of the suggestion that Australia should have a seventh state. (all links with forced video as is the Fairfax way).
That would require a bit of travel, possibly to areas with very limited mobile phone coverage and internet access. 

What a jolly jape.... and and the man keeps providing cartoonists with all sorts of jolly japes ...

Who'd have thought Mickey Mouse would feature so strongly in the election campaign? (and more Wilcox here).

And over at the Drum there was more hand-wringing here:

Where is Abbott going with this approach? If he succeeds in browbeating Turnbull into adopting more and more conservative policies prior to the election, voters may abandon the Government altogether. Even if Turnbull scrapes in, Abbott could launch a leadership bid claiming Turnbull was merely a proxy for him and his policies. 
However it's hard to avoid the conclusion that Abbott would be most content with the defeat of the Turnbull Government. Only in this way could he return to the role that he did best - being Opposition Leader. 
Unfortunately for the former PM, his colleagues may not have a similar view of his capabilities, particularly after watching him tear the party down. They may look to younger conservative warriors - or perhaps even the prodigal son Scott Morrison – to lead the Liberal Party back to government.

And still the reptiles of Oz, and so the pond, couldn't avert their/our gaze from the Medusa, with talk of treachery and traitors ...

There might be no 'I' in team but there certainly is in Manly Warringah ...

Strange, passing strange, there was the grand general talking of doing a tour to save marginal seats, and here were the reptiles doing a tour of Warringah to talk to anonymous sources.

One member, sources, the supporter said.

Not one person with the gumption to put their name in print.

Why out of that sort of gossamer the pond could create wondrous tissue of treachery ... but it's what passes for journalism these days in the lizard Oz ...

Is it any wonder that the professional hand-wringer, the oscillating fan, should also turn up in today's reptile rag, and in the news?

But when the pond got around to actually reading the hang-wringing, what a damp squib it turned out to be ...

Such sniping could bring Turnbull down ...

Could? As in couda, shouda, wouda?

Mother of mercy, is this the end of Malware?

Possibly not, not if Nick is the best spectre that the oscillating fan can bring to the table, apart from Abbott himself..

Oh they're coming out of the woodwork now ...

But how did we end up here, in the thickets of stupidity?

Well, in its own ineluctable way, it's thanks to Tony Abbott ... the man who keeps on giving ... the man who makes Don Quixote seem like a realist ... the man who has kept alive the concept of 'delusional' in national politics ...

Singlehandedly he puts Lloydy and the Caterists in the shade ...

But wait, in just a few short weeks, the resurrection will begin and an agile, innovative spirit will walk the land (and more Papal prophecies here ...)

Mother of mercy, could the pond now end with  a movie reference?


  1. Little Lord WyattRoy got hammered last night on Q&A over the NBN. He can't understand what all the fuss is about, can't people still use their Playstations?

  2. Re Fiona Scott, the Libs just don't get loyalty. No they don't get it , do they?

    1. No loyalty is collectivism. Magnificent individuals like Abbott can stand by another magnificent individual like that quality woman credlin but be loyal and committed to a group? No, it's not in their genes.

  3. Peta's hair on Sky? Haven't they noticed what Megan Kelly had to do with her bimbo tresses? Photoshop please!

  4. What a delightful imbroglio is unfolding tho' - Reith back from the dead, Hewson no longer able to pontificate merely an asinine croak, reptiles of every shape and shade writhing in anguish or anger. All we need is the doughty downer to launch onto the stage in his tights, or a squealing poodle up on his hind legs to shriek "I'm a fixer, i'm a fixer". God save us that they haven't thrown wives into the mix al la Drumpf and the cursed Cruise! And of course we've haven't seen Barny doing beetroot impression for a while either!

  5. Bad hair day for Malcolm. He's proving a greenhorn at crossbench-wrangling, and it looks like Dutton is about to pull a swifty by moving everyone our of the Manus gulag before an adverse judgement is handed down by the PNG High Court claiming the prison camp breached the PNG Constitution and was established illegally.

    You know Dutton, the embarrassing bits in the PNG constitution which guarantees freedom of movement, no imprisonment without trial, access to legal advice etc. and which you and Slomo thought didn't matter. After all it's only PNG, fuck them uppity natives.

  6. I have a $50,000 phonecard and a child-sized life-jacket for anyone who can tell me how Reith is relevant on any topic. A bit of wills-and-conveyancing in a sleepy seaside town qualified him for nothing more significant than looking after the tuck-shop orders in Howard's government, yet he landed multiple cabinet posts - talk about rising to your level of incompetence.... Of the long list of shitty legacies of the Howard years, Reith was an actor in most of them, and often enough, a prime mover. But nowadays? Just another tired old blowhard.

    There are many good reasons for hating Abbott, but for Reith it is mere personal bitterness - he blames Abbott for his (Reith's) defeat by Alan Stockdale for Student Body President or Homecoming Queen or something about five years ago.


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