Monday, March 28, 2016

Day 7, and the dog botherer sets a hot sniping, undermining, white-anting pace for the onion-munching wall-puncher ...


It being a holiday Monday, only the genuinely heroic would get out of bed to read the dog botherer, even if he's in exceptionally fine form.

Now the pond has already looked at some of the sniping, white-anting and undermining that's gone down in the land of the reptiles in recent days ...

There was the Terror, as above, and then there was the wall-punching onion-muncher himself ...

Many were the Viking ballads and cartoons celebrating the epic feats of the latter-day Beowulf smoting and smiting the upstart Grendel ...

And so the scene was set for today's piece by the dog botherer ...

Truly you couldn't make it up if you tried ...

Such a remarkably stupid man, and such a limited understanding of English. 

While it is true that sniping refers to the act of shooting, especially a gunshot, from a concealed place, or more particularly the shooting of snipes, various long-billed shorebirds of the family Scolopacidae, especially the widely distributed species Gallinago gallinago turnbullus malwarus, sniping can also more generally refer to the making of malicious, underhand remarks or attacks, and be an act of adversely criticising a person or persons from a position of security (yes, the pond's not a walking dictionary, there's the dictionary entry here).

Any leather-elbow patched, cardigan-wearing public servant in Canberra will know the truth of this - oh the pond has empathy, the pond remembers, the pond luvs ya - at least the 101% of them who have emerged from a meeting to complain that he/she is constantly sniping at me, the bastard/bitch and I'm fed up to the back teeth with it ...

But of course logic isn't the point in the sublime fatuity offered up by the dog botherer in his attempt to exonerate the wall puncher from sniping and wrecking, while allowing that he might be unfairly accused of undermining.

Such a remarkably stupid man, and so fatuous.

It's around this point in the tale, when the dog botherer asks what might Abbott's alternative be, that the pond remembers the behaviour of Julia Gillard when she was abruptly turned into a feather duster.

It involved the kind of class that is simply beyond the onion-muncher, a man motivated by malice, nattering negativity and an enormous, preening, peacock-strutting self-regard and hurt pride and dented, bruised ego, so out of shape it would take a generation of panel-beaters to restore.

And for what? For making Billy McMahon the second worst prime minister in living memory, rather than simply the worst? For being able to boast of being the best, in the sense of the most negative and destructive, opposition leader in living memory, with that role now in a full second flowering, such that Bill Shorten can be judged as the lesser opposition leader?

It's a measure of how Abbott, in his boofhead bogan Lathamite Trumpism, has made ostensibly conservative folk forget what it's supposed to be like for traditional conservatives who honour discretion and tradition and style ...

But back to the dog botherer, and it should be noted how his pieces are getting shorter and shorter (it would be wrong to label his delusionalism as pithier):

Of course it's really all about the dog botherer still yearning for the days of the natteringly negative onion muncher. Like the Bolter, the dog botherer yearns for a politician willing to espouse his climate denialism, along with sundry other bigotries and prejudices.

It's a measure of how bizarre it all is that even Miranda the Devine has taken to calling this motley crew of angry white male conservatives the Del-Cons, or delusional conservatives, as in her observations that Abbott and the Del-Cons have unleashed a firestorm of vengeance and that Abbott went from being the hope of the conservative cause to its greatest wrecker.

If you're further out than Miranda the Devine, then you're a candidate for Wacky Racers ...

What a terrible cartoon series that was ... yet that gif will do for a symbol of Abbott, it'll do ...

Meanwhile, as we're on the subject of tone, it takes a considerable effort by the Del-Con dog botherer to ignore the sterling efforts of the Bolter ...

Here's a sampling. Anyone interested in the actual copying and pasting from other sources can revert to the Bolter's blog, or could short-circuit the process of self-destruction and mental immolation by simply sticking a metal fork in the nearest power outlet ...

And so on and endlessly on, and the Bolter wonders why the oscillating fan called him a Malware-hater ...

Is there a time when the Bolter actually said something favourable about Turnbull? Yes, in recent times, there were a couple of defences of Turnbull offered up when he was criticised by the Belgian ambassador ... but this was only because Malware had channelled Abbott in relation to matters of national security, and so in reality the Bolter was defending Abbott against the the Belgian ambassador, via the empty, hollow, clanging vessel known as Turnbull ...

So what have been the singular results of all this epic Del-Con sniping, undermining and white-anting, as noted by the reptiles this day?

Uh huh.

Of course we've been here before ...

Long may it continue, though the pond notes that this sort of behaviour could hardly be called sniping ... all-out warfare perhaps, or an internecine civil war up there with the American civil war in destructive intent ...


  1. "For making Billy McMahon the second worst prime minister in living memory, rather than simply the worst?"

    At first I thought that there's a real fine line in that judgment, DP (McMahon being is a PM within my living memory), but on mature reflection, I think you've clearly got it right. It was just the McMahon voice that momentarily clouded my judgment, but then Tones is hardly a mellifluous articulator either (and both of them even worse than Bill Shortenin').

  2. The Dog Botherer is always one for diversity of opinion. Here's one from Mike Carlton this morning on Twitter

    "Nah. A failed PM writing for Quadrant is a lunatic jabbering to himself in a dark, cobwebbed corner of the asylum"

    Not just the press gallery perhaps?

  3. Where did they find a photograph of Kevin Andrews smiling, to use in that Abbott Express pic, I wonder?

    Apparently it can't be achieved with Photoshop.

    1. So true - but he was fairly smiley on a NZ gay bashing trip, and also to the renown hub of the religious diligence to keep women in their place, India.

  4. I like this quote, via the Grudian...

    "The former Labor minister Craig Emerson said it was strange the prime minister had left the timing of the next election in the hands of four senators “who hate his guts”.

    “That’s a master stroke, apparently,” Emerson said.

  5. We've got the best Government money can buy.

    - Mark Twain

  6. Some media tactics never die. Heart's attempts to silence Welles (over Citizen Kane) employed, blackmail, set-ups, lies, false accusations and intimidation.

    On a lecture tour before Citizen Kane’s release, Welles was warned by a police investigator: “Don’t go back to your hotel. They’ve got a 14-year-old girl in the closet and two photographers waiting for you to come in.”

    Hearst also believed Welles “acted as a front for the Communist party” after false evidence was presented to him, and Congress on-line to investigate him for 'un_American activities'.

    The Hearst organisation banned mentions of the film from its publications and dangled the threat of a lawsuit over the studio and any exhibitor.

    Once a lizard, always a lizard.

    1. :)³ And if the Chairman is any guide, they're still in search of their rosebuds ...

  7. In Syria, militias armed by the Pentagon are fighting those armed by the CIA

    1. :)³ Well war is peace and peace is their profession ...

  8. "boofhead bogan Lathamite Trumpism"

    What gorgeously apt terminology! Nicely nutshelled, DP.

  9. "boofhead bogan Lathamite Trumpism"

    What gorgeously apt terminology! Nicely nutshelled, DP.


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