(Above: answer: the pond is on the side of David Pope, and more Pope here, give him a click or three)

Each day the pond wakes up tremulous with excitement.

What fresh delight will emerge from the Pandora's Box sometimes known as the lizard Oz? What rich ingredients will the reptiles have prepared for the feast of the day?

Oh sure there are bon bons designed to whet the appetite:

But there's no need to get around the paywall enjoy that treat. The ineffable stupidity is right there in the splash, and says it all.

Now the pond has to confess that one of its dearest hopes is that Janet Albrechtsen - she of climate denialism, Lord Monckton worship and the UN using climate science to establish world government - would line up with others in the commentariat to give the Pope a good slapping in a way that only Dame Slap could manage.

But sadly this day Dame Slap is a bitter disappointment and the pond must swallow copious tears, as instead Dame Slap - herself a lawyer by way of training - continues to display a contempt for her fellow lawyers, the rule of law, and herself, given the mental corruption apparently induced by her training:

Well that was the pond's takeaway message without bothering to read Dame Slap, since the notion of making something 'lawyer proof' means it should be handed over willy nilly to the politicians, when anyone with a brain even the size of a pea knows that the first thing any piece of legislation should be is 'politician proof'. 

Imagine giving a doofus like Dutton power over the citizenry; imagine giving big Mal free rein to blather about national security; imagine allowing Tony Abbott to go on yet another anti-ABC crusade while clucking and tut-tutting as he sets the county on the road to McCarthyist neo-fascism.

Yes the fascist Murdochians are in full cry about the ABC, and we're not on the road to McCarthyism now, we've arrived, but the pond refused to give prominence to their fascist delight in Photoshop and tabloid gutter headlines.

As a result, beggars can't be choosers, because the pond was determined to get delight out of the Papal fuss that's still causing fits amongst the commentariat, and so it settled for second best, the dullest man in the drawer, the knife that makes the spoon look sharp and cutting, the man in fierce contention with Gerard Henderson for the title of Prattling Polonius, the veritable splade of kitchen utensils:

Oh dear, it seems that Kelly, seemingly aged, judging by the haggard visage presented, no doubt caused by years of servility and lick spittle service to Rupert Murdoch, is completely without wisdom and worldly awareness, and has just discovered Christ was a socialist.

Now before we plough on and read Kelly, the pond would like to proudly present Luke 12, KJV, and remember the days when the pond, at a very tender age, in second year high school, read the bible from cover to cover on the path to atheism (yes, reading the KJV was adjudged a sin in those days by the church). 

Sadly it's in the arcane argot favoured at the time the homosexual king first began to terrify Tony Abbott, but the pond prefers the poetical period language and it shouldn't be too tricky for anyone other than Kelly:

In the mean time, when there were gathered together an innumerable multitude of people, insomuch that they trode one upon another, he began to say unto his disciples first of all, Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. 

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. 

And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. 

But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. 

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? 

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. 

Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God: 

But he that denieth me before men shall be denied before the angels of God. 

And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven. 

And when they bring you unto the synagogues, and unto magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say: 

For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say. 

And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me. 

And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you? 

And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. 

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? 

And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. 

And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.  

But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? 

So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God. 

And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. 

The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. 

Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? 

And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? 

If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? 

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 

If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? 

And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. 

For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. 

But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. 

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 

Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth. 

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Phew, that's enough of that socialist jibber jabber what with wax bags and alms and being down on the rich man laying up treasure, and you could, if you were perverse and as tedious as Paul Kelly, go on and on with other examples from the sayings of Christ.

But let's instead cut to pure, undiluted Kelly in close-up:

Yep, this is an astonishing howl of pain and a great delight to the pond, and being the pontificating Kelly, it goes on and on at almost unendurable length, like a papal encyclical:

Dear sweet long absent lord, surely the pope should just tend to peddling the benefits of an after-life, spruiking heaven over purgatory, and finally settling the matter of limbo. Surely it's wrong to brood about the state of the planet?

How dare the papal intruder criticise business for being too slow to respond, when we all know that wind turbines are visually noisy and intrusive and cause major sickness, unlike coal mines which are wondrously healing.

Why isn't there a kind of Lourdes everyone can visit in the Hunter Valley, so that true believers can be cleansed of sin and healed, by ingesting a bit of coal dust? Instead of that magic water in bowls at the entrance to churches, why not a bit of coal dust for a sprinkling? How about baptisms conducted with a dash of iron ore to the forehead?

As for carbon credits - dare we call it an emissions trading scheme? - how outrageous that the papal greenie leftie shares the scepticism and denialism of our wonderful current leader, who resolutely stood against such shocking chicanery.

Talk about economic ideology at its purest!

Okay, the pond could go on and on, so let's just leave it at this: isn't it wonderful to see Kelly writhing at being called a sinner, committing many sins, just like all the other sinful climate denialists?

Isn't it great that the reptiles are slowly waking up - at least the Catholics amongst them - that they've been damned to a good long stint in purgatory, at a bare minimum, for their sinful climate denialist ways...

But now let's wrap it up:

Actually for anyone who bothered to read Luke 12, it was Christ who said less is more.

And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. 

That's why it's an eternal verity, but clearly, like many conservative reptiles, Kelly doesn't really give a flying fig about Christ or Christianity or Christ's message.

Just like a certain Prime Minister, busy demonising anyone in sight so that he can stay in power ... and Murdochians peddling their rabid snake oil like money lenders in the temple.

Christ had plenty to say about those forms of corruption too ...

But enough of this wondrous hypocrisy and stupendous fun.

Let those of you who are surrounded by rocks feel free to fling as many stones as you like ...

Come on David Rowe, show us how it's done - and as always more Rowe here.

In which the Caterists and Moorice run wild and free to the delight of the pond ...

(Above: and more Pope-ish insights here).

Every day in every way things are getting better and better.

At least if you cover the barking mad early morning beat in search of daily bouts of loonishness for the pond.

The fuss about education barely had time to skim the surface of the pond before it was whisked away, out of sight, leaving just a few memorials bobbing up like dead trees in Keepit dam:

What a good idea. Herd the rich into private schools, lavishly support them with taxpayer subsidies, and then cut back and back the second rate public system, which in due course will become the home of dropkicks and losers. And so a private institute thought bubble wins out once again ...

And this very day, while on education as a topic, who should bob up but the pond's old mate Kev?

By golly he looks stern and solemn, but he's consistent.

And then last night Steve Ciobo wasn't content to go the crypto-fascist. He went the full fascist and preened and strutted while doing it, as he showed exactly how a Liberal minister would behave when confronted by someone he didn't like. And let's face it - if a threat to kill is all that's needed for an eviction, there's going to be a lot of evictions.

Not that the pond has any direct knowledge of this as the pond resolutely refuses to watch the show - but a clip turned up on morning television, and bizarrely Fairfax now seems to think that journalism consists of getting an intern to sit down and watch Q and A, and write it up.

Neil McMahon was the intern given the job this day, and his piece - third from the top of the digital page as the pond writes - was headed Q and A's most startling moment, in best click bait fashion, with attached forced video which will feed you the ad you don't want to see.

McMahon was fully admiring of Ciobo's victory against the wicked alleged terrorist, giving the MP bragging rights, until perhaps remembering he was writing for Fairfax:

It was a startling moment among many odd ones on Monday night - an indication of just how odd it is that a man with the heroic air of a dry Salada came away with bragging rights. Ciobo had opened the night with an unintentionally amusing declaration that politicians did not manipulate words to stoke fear and reaction. "Very Orwellian" to suggest that, Ciobo said, butter melting in his mouth faster than he could swallow it.

So there you go. Sit down and watch a show where people bicker and argue, write it up with a snide amount of butter, and you too can call yourself a journalist. Or a TV viewer. Whatever.

But these pleasantries are just a distraction from the main game, because today is Caterist day, and slowly, slowly the commentariat are getting their act together and traducing the Pope:

Now this is a win-win scenario for the pond. The pond has no time for the Catholic church, thanks be unto the Dominican nuns that made it so, and the pond equally has no time for the chattering class commentariat working in an institute that scored a lavish hit of taxpayer money - while at the same time scribbling about loafers and bludgers and people rorting the government.

So let's get to it, and see the result of the wretched berating the wretched:

Indeed, indeed, Canberra excluded, but the pond has routinely noted how shocked and appalled it is that the reptiles of Oz would seek to put this sort of vital information behind a paywall.

Surely the Caterists should be allowed to run wild and free in their Canberra habitat, so that all might admire the plumage. Especially when the Caterists issue a cheery plea to waste as much plastic and paper as possible - remember, you can dump it into the Pacific ocean, the garbage dump which keeps on taking - and devour as much water as possible - please, not just the pool, cultivate an acre of lawn, it'll survive the next drought cycle - and whatever you do, don't use public transport, with all those working class grubs and losers, and be wary of carpooling - you might end up sharing with an Islamic terrorist - and whatever you do, never ever plant trees, because you might end up hugging them, and above all leave on all unnecessary lights all the time, it'll do wonders for your electricity bill, and please make sure you turn the amp up to eleven at 3 am, the neighbours will love your lifestyle, and visually pollute your environment with a great display of graffiti ...

Phew, great advice. How dare the Pope be so useless, how wonderful to be a Caterist with plenty of moola rolling in from the taxpayer and so able to afford a modern western lifestyle with its choice of abundant waste and needless extravagance.

Now please read carefully, because a test will follow:

Now for the test - did you read carefully and in detail?

Good, because it should be a doddle. Please recite the devastating paragraph in which the Caterists refuted the Pope and his fanatical medievalist adherence to climate science.

No, silly billy, you can't recite all the paragraphs where the Caterists resolutely avoided mentioning climate science. 

That would mean you'd be reciting the entire piece, which is simply too tedious and mind-numbing to contemplate.

Now let's pause to celebrate the way that the Caterists have consigned the entire ABC religion and ethics department to oblivion. 

The poor possums have been beavering away these past four decades or more - you can now find them online here - taking papal encyclicals, angry Sydney Anglicans, angry atheists and other odd bods seriously - is there anyone odder than Scott Stephens - and the entire apparatus and output has apparently been lost on the Caterists.

Now this could simply mean that Caterists are generally shallow thinkers best left to the shallow end of the pond, or it could be a sign that the Caterists are incipient angry atheists, ready to tear down the monstrosity known as the Catholic church ...

Either way, you have to think of it as a win-win. Sure the planet might be buggered if the Caterists have their way, but we have to admire the path to redemption now on offer at bargain basement rates ... live like rats, consume, consume, consume, buy up all the stock in your nearest two dollar store, devour coal, coal, coal, and all will be well ...

And now, as a mega blockbuster bonus, the pond is proud to announce that it has at last discovered what happens when the barking mad tackle the barking mad:

Yes, Moorice has abandoned climate science and given up jousting with the Pope to joust with Mark Latham.

It's mano on mano and the first to break an arm wins.

Or they might simply be contractors, owning a one dollar company so they can make use of the tax break offered by jolly Joe - a hundred per cent write off, or a car written off in three large chunks over three years (quick, you can join the pond by racing to your friendly car dealer today).

Of all the sanctimonious blather of the unctuous kind, the celebration of small business has to be one of the bigger furphies, and it leads Newman into strange historical turf.

Especially the doozy about Britain achieving greatness as a nation of shopkeepers. Britain achieved greatness as a nation of looters, an imperial power which took in raw materials from its far flung empire, and processed same at home, then shipped the processed materials back to its colonies at a handsome profit.

To avoid this simple, plain truth perhaps helps explain why Moorice doesn't have the first clue about climate science, but the pond's in a generous mood, so here's a map to help him understand:

As for the phrase "nation of shopkeepers", it has a peculiar provenance which can be Greg Hunted here.

But back to Maurice for the wrap-up. No doubt there will be much about the glories of the Abbott government:

Actually delusion is on its side, not least in the way that Maurice celebrates and conflates entrepreneurial inventiveness with the business of shop-keeping, and then has the cheek to bolster his argument by reference to doing a search on the full to overflowing intertubes.

The internet is the future, indeed it's also the present, but history isn't on its side, at least not in Australia, because we already know that the Abbott government, aided and abetted by its quisling big Mal, has been instrumental in providing the worst possible solution available to wiring the country.

And the intertubes is the best friend of all of any small business with half a clue.

And there, redolent, and dripping with irony, is the manifest stupidity of the Abbott government and the chairman of its advisory council laid bare for all to see - at a pretty slow download rate, and at an abysmal upload rate ...

Truly, it's a national disgrace that the reptiles keep these kinds of insights behind their paywall ...

And so to a couple of Cathy Wilcox cartoons, and more Wilcox here.

Indeed, indeed. How did that Poe poem go?

Gaily bedight, 
A gallant Abbott, 
In sunshine and in shadow, 
Had journeyed long, 
Singing a song, 
In search of Eldorado. 
But he grew old— 
This Abbott so bold— 
And o'er his heart a shadow 
Fell as he found 
No spot of ground 
That looked like Eldorado. 
And, as his strength 
Failed him at length, 
He met a pilgrim shadow— 
"Shadow," said he, 
"Where can it be— 
This land of Eldorado?" 
"Over the Mountains 
Of the Moon, 
Down the Valley of the Shadow, 
Ride, boldly ride," 
The shade replied— 
"If you seek for Eldorado!"

Or he could just take a day trip up to the Hunter Valley and the mountains of the moon and you'll find your Caterist El Dorado. That's where the finest small business activity can be observed from a plane:

In which the pond wonders at the rough beast slouching towards a decent Fox news service on television ...

(Above: and more Rowe here).

There's nothing like fear-mongering, terror-trolling and induced hysteria as a boon when working the red carpet in a bid to stay before the cameras for another booking, and the exemplary Rowe catches the artistes in exemplary pose ...

Demonisation has become an essential part of the conservative political and media toolkit in recent years, which is why, even when it comes to a sombre subject, the editorialist reptiles of Oz can introduce a risible element.

This morning the pontificating supreme member of the chattering classes at the Oz stepped into the gun and race debate in the United States, mainly to express bewilderment, while also revealing remarkable confusion:

But why select out Clinton? She's merely a candidate.

If wanting a woman to mention, why not mention Governor Nikki Haley - Republican - of South Carolina, busy calling for the death penalty but busy also doing absolutely nothing about the divisive flag still proudly flying out on the front porch. Why not mention the Republican-controlled state legislature busy doing nothing at all about it ...

But that's the flag you say, and the Oz editorialist is on about guns ...

So let's turn to guns:

Read that first sentence and weep: America's failure over gun control is incomprehensible.

And then marvel at the line about sporting the Confederate flag as a way of underlining the gunman's sickening motivation. Say hello to the South Carolina governor and legislature while marvelling ...

The reality is that America's failure over gun control is all too easily comprehensible, though it's now so intractable it's unlikely to be changed well into the future.

The NRA has profoundly corrupted the political process, and most notably the GOP, though many Democrats of the southern kind are in the trough just as deep.

And in the process the NRA has found a potent set of cheerleaders all residing at ... Murdoch's Fox News.

But of course the hand-wringing editorialist at the Oz can't mention this reality. Instead we cop a lot more pious blather:

The US is also awash with Fox News daily thrust into private hands.

America's shame is also Fox's shame, and by extension Murdoch's shame, and since the Oz is kissing cousin to the American empire, they can bask in the reflected shame.

You don't have to look far for evidence - that prime Fox klutz Steve Doocy was head of the pack saying It's extraordinary that Charleston church shooting is being called a hate crime.

But that link will also lead to a number of other links proving that when it comes to tone deafness Fox is king of the pack. It's not just Fox of course - that other weapon in the Murdoch American empire chimed in with an editorial claiming that institutional racism no longer existed in America.

And the usual Fox suspects were also front and centre - that eminent doofus Tucker Carlson, for example, and you could, if you wanted, get a dose of Bill Orally or Hannity.

Sad to say, the United States is fucked, comprehensively, with no easy way out of its canyon of guns and race, and in the short time it's been functioning, Fox News has done its very best on every level and in every way to exacerbate the divisions, and support the NRA in its desire that nothing be done.

It doesn't matter what Murdoch says or tweets, it's what the businesses he owns do that matters ...

It's called a successful business model, and that's why the best the local reptiles can offer is "incomprehensible" - because admitting, acknowledging or even observing the forces at work in the United States involves truths much too close to home.

Which is why the pond looks nervously at the local scene, since we live in interesting times and there are the usual braying domestic ratbags at work in the media beavering away in the Murdoch cause.

After all, if you see a successful business model, the temptation is to replicate it. Forget the way that high fructose corn syrup corrupts the body or extreme right wing punditry corrupts the mind. If it sells, put it out there ...

The model's already at work in the Oz in the tree-killer domain, but sadly for the reptiles it doesn't work too well.

But paying for the Bolter to turn up on FTA television offers more hope, which is why the Murdochians have been looking at Channel Ten more and more longingly.

Now the official line is being peddled today by Mark Day:

Yes, it's just so unfair.

But what's this? Foxtel deal raises News Corp's influence at Ten ...

In short, the gaggle of conservative fundamentalists have already made a mockery of Day's crocodile tears.

The rest  of Mark Day's piece is the usual pleading for special treatment, as he sings his song for his supper in the usual News Corp way.

There's talk of the wonders of the new CEO, and Vietnam and India as new opportunities - hey shared time zones - and the wickedness of slothful governments refusing to encourage entrepreneurial business activity and the changing world, and the way Tony Abbott, if he doesn't pander to News Corp, will be driving media growth, investment and jobs offshore.

Yes, if News Corp can't get hold of Ten and turn it into a FTA equivalent of Foxtel, what a blow it will be to Australia.

But the reptiles don't just laze around on a rock on the noon day sun. They're always busy and there are other ways to skin the cat, as we learn today from that bubble-headed booby:

A brand new news service for the reptiles! Perhaps using the world-wide resources of News Corp. The lizard Oz and the tabloids at home, Fox News in the United States ...

Well the pond votes for the very first opinion program to turn up on the news service.

Let it be the dog molester remarking how incomprehensible it is there has been such a sharp upturn in hostility, anger and resentment in Australia, given that Tony Abbott is such a soothing and healing leader, and the reptiles are doing their very best to introduce harmony throughout the land ...

Oh wait, he already does that, thanks to News Corp.

Never mind, let his and the voices of the rest of the commentariat apparatchik be amplified a thousand times on televisual boxes throughout the land, and on the intertubes, copper wire willing, and in the cell phones and ...

And if you think that's good news, remember to get your refreshing glass of kool aid punctually at 10.30am at the water cooler ...

And so to the headline news the pond is still waiting for ...

In which the pond expresses a gob-smacked awe at the inspirational Miranda the Devine ...

The pond was hoping this Sunday to stay away from the barking mad commentariat.

But after a sprightly Japanese breakfast in Pyrmont, and a tour of the rain-sodden city, something ineluctably drew the pond to the Sunday Terror, beguiled, lured in by the Miranda the Devine splash above, for it promised so much ...

You see the pond has been on edge of seat in nervous anticipation - sweaty forehead, dry lips, trembling hands - at the thought of how the local barking mad commentariat might deal with Pope Francis asserting an acceptance of the main points of climate science (let's leave "belief" in the science to those who believe in munching on flesh and devouring blood in a bizarre transubstantiation-al Sunday ritual).

And what do you know, the Devine provides an excellent piece that shows that the barking mad are determined to stay barking mad, no matter the cost to logic, rationality or the capacity to show the slightest sign of intelligence, honesty, courage or responsibility ....

It's appalling that the Sunday Terror-ists should seek to deprive the world of these splendid insights, so here we go:

Ah, you see it's the insufferable gloating that gets the perverse naysayer neighing, and so the Devine goes into full braying mode.

No doubt there will be a denunciation of the preening, alarmist-loving papist pontiff, as just another latte-sipping opinonista brooding about a trivial matter.

No disrespect to the Pope, but as he doesn't have a clue about anything, why would he have a clue about climate science?

Because climate science is all about clean waterways, recycling bins and catalytic converters and has absolutely nothing to do with coal or carbon or any of those other fiddle faddle things.

No matter, the pond will bite. How are all those recycling bins - reviled by the commentariat in ancient times as a blight on Coca Cola and other useful sodas - working out?

Really well, it turns out ... once people worked out where to put the trash.

You see, because prosperity and progress leads to less pollution and more care for the environment. Anyone in the eastern suburbs can tell you that. Just ask big Mal's garden help ... and Greg Hunt making sure the world understands it's coal, coal, coal for Australia ...

But now let's return to the Devine, expert on garbage, recycling bins, and the benefits of two dollar stores, because, let's face it, none of us can afford not to have a profusion of cheap throwaway junk that'll last a day after the warranty expires:

You see? The word "climate" appears just 18 times. Talk about a knockdown argument when it comes to a deep reading of the document. But when the prattling pontiff does use the word, by golly does he get it wrong, or what!

There is a very consistent scientific consensus indicating that we are in the presence of a disturbing heating of the climate system. In recent decades, this warming was accompanied by the constant rising of the sea level, and it is also hard not to relate it with the rise in extreme weather events... It is true that there are other factors (such as volcanism, the changes in the orbit and the axis of the Earth, the solar cycle), but numerous scientific studies indicate that most of the global warming in recent decades it is due to the large concentration of greenhouse gases (carbon dioxide, methane, nitrogen oxide and others) mainly emitted due to human activity. Their concentration in the atmosphere prevents the heat of the solar rays reflected from the Earth to be dispersed in space. This is especially enhanced by the model of development based on the intensive use of fossil fuels, which is at the center of the global energy system. It is also affected by the increase of the practice of changing land use, mainly by deforestation for agricultural purposes.

Never mind, you see, Pope Francis really doesn't accept climate science, or any of that blather quoted above. He's just scribbled some nonsense and is using it as bait and switch, the way scientology promises to improve you as a functioning human being to lure you into their cult and then drain you of your money and your mind, until you willingly accept Xenu is part of the answer ...

But what does this make Francis? Well if you read the Devine, he's just a Jesuitical trickster, a mendacious fraud, a low-life flirty fisher, a cheap-arsed, half-baked populist salesman feeding the world some populist environmentalist guff as a way of luring the godless, and the chattering classes, into medieval attitudes to sex and human relationships and digital media ...

He's not much better than a car salesman flogging Tru-coat, or a real estate agent in Sydney, or the long absent lord help us, a lying cheating liar politician of the TA kind ...

He's nothing but a devious, manipulative charlatan, a soulless cynic given to Machiavellian behaviour of the most outrageous and corrupt kind.

Ah but remember, that's not the pond saying it, that's the Devine who on occasions has confessed to being something of a Catholic, and so willing, in some contexts, surely to accept that this charlatan is infallible ...

Now there's Jesuitical trickery. An infallible fraudster ...

You have to be a remarkable sort of idiot to get yourself into this sort of logic trap, but that's the Devine, and god bless the Sunday Terror-ists for hosting her and making the pond's load lighter on a rain-sodden day.

Now it might well be that the Devine wouldn't make the cut in surveys such as The Most Outrageous Responses To The Pope's Encyclical On Climate Change, but surely she'd be a hot contender for the most funny or the silliest ...

One thought still nags at the pond however. If the Pope is so down on digital media, why does the deviant Tru-coat seller take to digital media to put across his prattling papist message?

Stop it Francis, stop it at once. Why are you so intent on making the Devine sound an even bigger idiot on a daily basis?

Meanwhile, you too can get down with the Pope on digital media here, and join the 6.37 million who are down with him, and maintain the outrage at fraudulent digital media ... which sadly provides clear evidence that the papist's call for honesty, courage and responsibility is likely to fly right over the very thick head worn on a daily basis by the highly obtuse Miranda the Devine ...

UPDATE:

Important, crucial information from informed Miranda the Devine Tilly's readership:

Once more the pond's blind irrational faith in the commentariat and the Murdochian readership is reinforced, but modestly the pond must disclaim any responsibility for the thoughts herein. The pond is only motivated by sociological and anthropological interest, and what rich pickings Tilly and her readership provide.

In which the pond invites climbers of a commentariat Everest to wear their political emoji with pride ...

(Above: the immortal Pope celebrating papal news, more papist insights here).

It's a big, blockbuster edition of the pond today, even if in the style of the Bolter, it consists of the thoughts of others.

But that's because there's so much deliciousness and irony afloat in the world, and the pond can say that without benefit of a bribe from the federal government.

First there was the wondrous sight of Tony "climate science is crap, it's coal, coal, coal for Australia and the world, I might not know much about science but transubstantiation and eating flesh and drinking blood sounds scientific to me" Abbott slinking off from a press conference, not knowing what to say or do about the heretic Pope who dared to suggest there might be something of concern regarding the crap.

The pond can imagine the singular pleasure, the extreme relish that big Mal experienced talking to The World Today yesterday, and coming out with lines like this:

MALCOLM TURNBULL: I really would commend everyone to read the Pope's encyclical, by the way. I actually, in the very early hours of this morning I read about two-thirds of it and it's a very, very interesting and eloquent document. There's a lot more in it than just discussion of climate change. The Pope speaks in a very thoughtful way about cities, about the environment of cities, about the importance of ensuring that poor people have access to all of the good things in cities and that of course means better transport, better public transport, he cites. It is a very wide ranging document and really goes well beyond what you would normally expect from a, from a Pope, I guess.

That got the pond chortling, but then came the capper:

MICHAEL EDWARDS: The Prime Minister Tony Abbott was asked about the encyclical at a press conference in Cairns this morning. He didn't respond. 
KIM LANDERS: Michael Edwards.

That induced a fit of cackles that lasted for minutes. Well played World Today team and today you can hie yourself off to Fairfax to catch up on Government Catholics will give 'great weight' to Pope's climate views: Malcolm Turnbull. (with forced video)

By golly big Mal loves to turn the knife with irony, though it should be noted that the Fairfax piece is really just a gloss on his interview with Michael Rowland on 24, which big Mal made sure would turn up as a transcript on his site here.

At least the Fairfax header was a fair gloss on what big Mal, with the greatest of ironies, had to say:

PRESENTER: ... You’re a Catholic, the Prime Minister of course as we all know is a Catholic. Should therefore you and Mr Abbott give really great weight to what the Pope says about tackling climate change? 
MALCOLM TURNBULL: I think everyone will give great weight to it and the Pope of course is one of the great - it's one of the positions of great moral leadership, a position of global moral leadership in the world and drawing attention to these environmental issues – climate change, reducing greenhouse gas emissions is one of them, he also - and I say this as a former Water Minister - discusses very thoughtfully the depletion of fresh water supplies and the pollution of fresh water supplies around the world. It is a very, very wide ranging document. I might say that what the Pope points out in it is that young people have become estranged from, not just from the church, but also from governments and people in positions of power because they feel that their elders are not taking these environmental issues seriously. And I think this is a very, very significant move by the Pope, to make the church and the leadership of the church much more relevant to young people. This is - Pope Francis is a very, very transformative and thoughtful leader.

A very transformative and thoughtful leader! Where does that leave the luddite as he eats his human flesh this Sunday?

Big Mal also had a few words to say about other matters, but let's just summarise them with a Kudelka cartoon, the only possum who seems to escape the morning kool aid drinking session the reptiles conduct each day at the lizard Oz:

That debate produced such levels of monstrous stupidity that Fairfax could in all seriousness propose this as a headline this morning:

Yes, that's a polite way of saying, as you can read in Abbott's crabwalk from new citizen laws, a win for common sense, that Abbott got rolled, but not by acquiring common sense.

The whole game has been the most cynical exercise in politics, and having served its purpose, Abbott can exit, knowing everyone has played his game. The likely result?

The cancellation by ministerial fiat would be final, subject to appeal in the court only in as much as to ensure the minister had observed statutory process. 
Cabinet pulled back from that because it would have left people stateless - in contravention of international law. 
However, it now appears even its fallback position of applying to dual nationals cannot be drafted in a way as to be legal. 
Insiders say bill to be taken to the Liberal party-room on Tuesday, could be as simple as few words updating section 35 of the Citizenship Act, to apply to non-state combatants rather than just "armed forces of another country", or it may increase the ministerial discretion, but with full appeal rights as to the merits of the cancellation - thus setting the court as the final arbiter.

You don't have to read Peter Hartcher here to work out what the whole exercise has been about:

At a time of grave challenges to international order and Australian security, Abbott is not a judicious leader weighing effective policy and seeking united political support. 
The Prime Minister is exposed playing a game of chicken. He is daring Labor to match an increasingly hardline series of proposals to try to force Shorten to pull back. There's nothing wrong with taking a hard line against terrorists, but it has to be effective. 
The moment Labor showed the least hesitation in supporting a government proposition, even a hesitation aimed at trying to make it workable, Abbott attacked. 
The Prime Minister has confected this break with Labor merely to mount a political attack. It's as if he's already written an election campaign line: "Labor welcomes terrorists. You can't trust Bill Shorten to keep you safe." And then pressed and probed to find even the most spurious reason to run it. 
A government MP summed up the Abbott priorities: "He wants to keep everyone talking about national security," an area of perceived Coalition advantage, "and wedge Labor" into a losing position. "It's all just politics".

No wonder Abbott has difficulties with the Pope.

There's a cynic, a deeply ambitious and profoundly corrupt man, who's a long way from the moral and ethical duties proposed by the Catholic church, which it could be noted, are an equally far distance from the actual precepts of Christ.

And so, since the subject has turned to morality and ethics, the pond comes to the heavy duty, hard yards component of the day's task.

Sensible people are invited at this point to stop reading, take the dog for a walk, kiss the partner and indulge in some hanky panky, have a nice brunch, make an extra coffee - hey it's the weekend, the nervous energy will come in handy - or just stare at the heater and absorb its infinite wisdom.

You see, thanks to The Australian, the pond can present a wonderful example of moral equivalence, absurd comparisons, and childish rhetoric, showing the infantile bromancer in 'full jockstrap to Abbott' flight.

Let us not dilly dally, you hardened, toughened, chiselled bushmen who have stayed behind, ready to climb the Everest of gibberish. Let us roll up our shirt sleeves or our stockings, crack the Tamworth stock whip, and get into it:

Now don't say you're wilting already. This is a windy exercise in justification, a long and winding road, and that condescending remark about Indonesian coppers is just part of the windy wind-up:

Nauseated yet? Not to worry, there's more, but now we're a long way from ethical base camp, and we are nearing the peak where at last it can be explained that bribery is an ethical and moral good, and Australia may conduct itself like a local Indonesian copper. 

Patience is a virtue however. First you must clamber over slippery shale rock and loose snow, cursing Labor all the way:

Indeed. Sophistication is essential, because it turns out morality and ethics have got nothing to do with it. 

And now for the coup de grace, the fatuous introduction of a totally irrelevant example which has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but is reminiscent of the logic employed in that ticking clock drama 24, the favourite show for neo-fascists anxious to justify their deeds:

Now you have to admit that when you get up into this sort of rarefied area of lick spittle pandering and justification and ritual abasement, the view is breath-taking.

As for Sheridan talking of faux outrage? Fuck him for the faux fuckwit he is.

But wait, there's more. The pond warned the veterans that this would be a long march, longer than chairman Mao's epic wander, done on meagre bowls of rice, and perhaps a few grasshoppers ingested for protein.

You see, cheek by jowl on the reptilian Oz, there was this splash:

Yes even the reptile subs have a sense of irony, and so just when the weary traveller stopped to massage the blisters on the feet, they have to slip back into their Dennis Lillee-approved hard boots, and start all over again, this time enduring a bout of what Sheridan the twit assures us is just faux outrage.

But while we're still at base camp, let's pause for a Wilcox cartoon, and more Wilcox here.

Does Sheridan ever bother to read his fellow members of the commentariat? Okay, that's a bit like asking whether Sheridan has a brain larger than a peanut, or at least a section of the brain that hasn't been overwhelmed by his deep, abiding and enduring bromance.

Never mind, let us leave the rarefied mountain air inhabited by Sheridan, with its breathtaking absence of any understanding of ethics and morality, and its pandering to the hook or by crook, whatever it takes brigade, and plunge back into the murky waters:

Dear sweet long absent lord, someone attend to the reader who fainted then said they were stepping out of the tent for a little while. An actual member of the reptile commentariat scribbling a favourable remark about the unendurable, vile greenies:

 Uh huh. Shocking, this faux outrage. More of it please, let there be gruel:

Yes, and there was the biggest irony of all this week, with a corrupt government seeking to justify bribes at sea and an overturning of all that the myth of Magna Carta has come to represent, and if there's anything worse than that pathetic sight, surely it can only be the pathetic sight of Greg Sheridan and others in the reptilian Oz seeking to justify or excuse the government's (and the opposition when in government's) misdeeds.

But if you made it this far, you surely deserve a medal, and thanks to Leunig, the pond has plenty of stamps to hand - feel free to choose your personal favourite and wear it with pride (and more Leunig here):