In which the pond bunkers down with the bromancer and nattering "Ned", when a hot chocolate might be a better idea ...

The pond thought it might start off by offering all those demented fundamentalist evangelical Xians intent on killing themselves and anyone who comes into contact with them, a simple and poetic answer to the question WWJD… why, he'd teleconference the last supper, and it'd be a bloody ripper, though it might ramble on at interminable length, as Zoomers seem to do these days …

Even the Catholics know better than those dumb US evangelicals. Imagine that. Fancy the pond scribbling that.

And now to the reptiles, and if only they could be persuaded to turn to teleconferencing, and spare us all this tree killing.

But first a warning. The pond has deliberately quarantined prattling Polonius and Dame Slap. They will be on hand for a Sunday meditation, but the pond has decided that in the circumstances, social distancing is required, and a strong warning, especially as self-isolation can lead to brooding …

So who's killing trees this Saturday? And is there a Lobbecke to be found?

Come on down, bromancer, always willing to produce some brand of weird, warped reptile thinking …

Yes, the bromancer is in bridge-building mode, and even worse he's decided to match nattering "Ned" for prolix scribbling, so it will take a long time to get to the quirkiness … but then it's better on a Saturday just to wind down, and be bored to death by a bout of copious hagiography …

Now let us begin with a Catholic papal blessing ...

Hmm, the pond has its own papal blessing, and it better slip it in quickly, because the infallible Pope as usual offers his own insight …

Yes, the pond's son is down to his last four rolls, but instead let us move away from all that, and head back up the faraway tree to the land of the bromancer, which seems determined to stay in place forever, for another goodly dose of hagiography...

Strange, no talk of Orwellian police state here. No blather about repressive, draconian measures, hole in bucket Henry style. 

Didn't the bromancer get the office memo? Has the reptile kool aid machine been put out of bounds?Are bottles of undiluted hagiographic spirits now being handed out, to drown out the noises of sullen resentment, and perhaps used as a hand wash, and as a way of scrubbing from memory decades of scribbling the other way?

At last, the bromancer is beginning to hint at what might come as a dramatic climax to the piece, even as he meanders on like a Mahler or a Wagner. Could we be coming to a caucasian, or white nationalist libertarian prepper understanding of the world, an isolationist retreat that will see dinkum clean coal no longer delivered to China?

The pond thought it would throw that it in as a teaser, because it's a long, winding road ...

Oh dear, no wonder that Bob Carr was out and about gloating this day …

But now the slow build is over, and soon the bromancer will reach a peak ...

Oh dear. This is what happens when you spend too much time alone, reading, and you turn to the United States, as if the US provides any sort of model for the present or the future …

Unfortunately the pond has already wasted far too much time with the bromancer to head down the path of State Capacity Libertarianism.

The original post is here, and anybody wanting further reading just needs to google the author and the phrase …

It's just another post from a mad prof, designed to get the libertarians hopping, and all the richer for the bromancer having announced earlier in the piece that all dogma is bunk, and all theory is useless, when really the ultimate folly, the point of complete alienation, the experience of a total waste, best comes from reading the reptiles, a sense of futility erupting into pointless, meaningless despair ...

Strange, isn't it, how the bromancer, having raised the spectre of Tyler Cowen, did a quick retreat from the USA … the pond can't imagine why …

And so to nattering "Ned", and another warning.

"Ned" isn't about to let the bromancer's challenge as to who's the most prolix, verbose and tedious go by without an heroic fight … and yes, there's going to be a lot more hagiography, but please trust the pond, it's better than Dame Slap and prattling Polonius for a relaxing, mind-numbed Saturday, and besides, the hunt for the elusively snark-like cult master must go on ...

Ah the new normal, but isn't that an Orwellian police state, with repressive, draconian practices, and a hideous ABC and Norman Swan, and the reptiles in need of urgent government relief?

Sorry about that illustration. Here no master, no master here. It was just a trick, a feint, to get the reader in the mood for "Ned's" self-confessed useless polemic ...

Say what? Et tu, Maggie Thatcher? No wonder Bob Carr was out and about this day, in the middle of the reptiles …

And even worse, revisionist "Ned" then slams into his very own company, and its filthy tabloids, full of the likes of the vile Bolter, and not to forget the lizard Oz, home of the dog botherer, and dozens of other reprehensible ratbags, foaming at the mouth, and trying to whip up frenzies ...

Why "Ned", did you not see this cartoon?

But enough of News Corp's many crimes, that's just to help stray readers carry on, and there's always a tease about a possible sighting of cult master Lobbecke ...

Now if you can't get a hollow laugh out of all that, you've never seen Treasure of Sierra Madre, or read previous entries in the pond, or encountered the notion of turning on a dime, or seen anything these last ten years about the holy grail of a surplus and the wickedness of bludgers on New Start …

And that's why the pond enjoys reading the reptiles … for the complete lack of self-awareness, for the regular bouts of hypocrisy, for the willingness of the cock on the roof to turn whichever way the wind insists it swivel … and be still beating heart, because soon will come a surprise ...

Indeed, another big call, but the question must be asked of this turnabout revisionist hagiography: is it as exciting as stumbling across an offering from cult master Lobbecke, which swept all "Ned's" hagiographic diarrhoea from mind in one fell swoop?

What a beauty, what a ripper, and for once the pond got it at once. Only a master could make the comparison ...

It quite swept from the pond's mind all the reptile moaning about the need for government relief and a happy ending; all that talk of complacency, when really we all know that's only an excuse for an Orwellian police state, and draconian repressive measures … where's Henry to fix the bucket when he's needed?

Instead we must endure more "Ned", and without the solace of another Lobbecke in sight ...

What a ripper read, if you want to nod off while having a hot chocolate on a Saturday morning, and enjoying the odd cartoon …

Well that's odd enough, and perhaps a little sick and tragic, and perhaps Luckovich could have housed News Corp in the same building, but never mind, News Corp has completely reformed and rethunk and now there's a new funk in town …

And so to the oscillating fan ...

Normally the pond wouldn't bother with the oscillating fan …and wouldn't go beyond two reptiles on a Saturday for fear of it turning into that fatal after dinner mint.

But the pond, in its quest for the cult master, stumbled across another one … and it happened to accompany the fan, and there you have it, you can't make an omelette without a Lobbecke ...

Now the pond realises that better interpreters are likely to dismiss the effort as a lesser one, something of a train or car wreck illustration if you will, but worse, having started the oscillating fan so it could be seen, the pond felt the need to become a completist … and complete the endurance course with the fan ...

Phew, it's like doing a dance with prattling Polonious in one of his history flashbacks, and sure enough, the fan managed to provoke.

Why World War II?

Surely everything flowed from World War I? The Great Depression, Communist Russia, and all the communisms that were to follow, and all the totalitarian regimes, and so the second world war itself, and also the mis-named Spanish flu, which was spread abroad by US soldiers, and should properly be dated as beginning in 1918, as any mug with a google machine might know …or as Molesworth might put it, as any fule wud now ...

Sorry, the pond automatically fell back into 'argue with Polonius' mode, as the fan compounded his thought crimes by talking of 1919 ...

Well, there's no point brooding. The Lobbecke was spotted, the argument was had, and the hot chocolate calls in a rainy Sydney, and there's the master Rowe standing by to remind the reptiles of the virus they sent out into the world, with more masterly Rowe here …and remember, please social distance from the pond on Sunday, because who knows what thought bubble or virus you might catch ...

In which the pond endures our Henry before suffering at the keyboard of the lizard Oz editorialist ...

Every so often someone sends the pond a link to that Vanity Fair story about James Murdoch here, and it seems to be doing the social rounds again.

Relax, the pond has it in hand, and often notes those lines:

In an interview with the New Yorker’s Jane Mayer, published Monday, the youngest son of the right-wing media mogul warned that certain unnamed media outlets are using disinformation to divide people and to shore up their own power. “The connective tissue of our society is being manipulated to make us fight with each other, making us the worst versions of ourselves,” James said, not explicitly naming Fox News but almost certainly describing it. “There are views I really disagree with on Fox,” he added, noting that there are “periods of time” when he and his father do not talk.

But the Vanity Fair story is actually a rip of a New Yorker story by Jane Mayer on 16th September, here (might be paywall affected).

So how’s it going in the United States? Well the Donald and his minions, and thereby indirectly Chairman Rupert and his minions, are helping rack up thousands of deaths in the current crisis, by first downplaying it, and then bumbling along. Why does it matter? Well if the US catches a serious health calamity, the rest of the world will feel the sneeze.

Which is why the pond has no time for the reptile apologists and conflationists and confusionistas (that such a word should be) down under. And with that out of the way, let’s get on with this day’s reptile outing, and the worst versions of ourselves …

No, no, no, that's a belated prank. 

The pond never runs Gra Gra, the pond just wanted to introduce the theme of blindness to the potential for bleakness ahead, and the willingness of the reptiles to play fast and loose on this pandemic, with endless blather about restrictions, limitations and the police state … and for that we must leave Gra Gra alone with the Hansonite one (and his Swiss bank accounts and Gold Coast frolics), and instead turn to our hole in the bucket man …

Is there an upside to having our Henry in our midst? Well at least there's no need for the pond's stoic interpreter of reptile illustrations to be disappointed yet again this Friday, because it's pretty clear that the killjoy, fun-destroying, Orwellian police state routine is going to get yet another airing ...

Complacency and exceptionalism?

Yep, thy alternate name is hole in the bucket Henry …

It's the usual bullshit, unhelpful and counterproductive, with the usual nonsense - it is important to question the need for drastic measures and restrictions - and the usual caveats - "to say that is certainly not to claim the epidemic is over."

Others have been through this nonsense before, in an even more virulent strain ... 

For once, the pond is pleased that politicians decided to act relatively quickly in Australia, and with only a few major blunders, and yet there's no accounting for the endless complacency and stupidity of some. 

The pond's son, who lives in a city apartment block, yesterday reported clusters of millennials gathered together, as if social distancing was but a passing dream and a fad for oldies … and perhaps some of them have been reading all the Murdochian blather about the police state and the needless limitations on their liberties and freedoms, their right to keep on fucking, and if that happens to fuck others, well, what the fuck? So join them, dear Henry, please help with the fucking ...

So we're all right Jack, or Jill, as the case may be? Is it time to do a little boasting, and a little distancing?

As an aside, the best footage the pond saw last night featured Hannity calling the whole thing a hoax, and then, later, denying that he'd ever called it a hoax. For sheer brazenness, Hannity takes some beating. 

But how hard is it for Seth Meyer and Colbert and Kimmel and the like, having to do cold openings, without the buzz of an audience? The pond feels a duty to stay in touch, but watching Colbert feed his dog ham seemed like the most amateur routine you might find on Tic Toc (Kimmel's refuge) or YouTube ...

And that's why the pond is hoping that in the future, our Henry won't have to practise social distancing from his current column, and its many fatuities and foolishnesses, of a particularly dangerous kind ...

Oh enough with the blather about unnecessary, heavy-handed, absurdly draconian measures. 

You sir, to put it politely, are a doddering old fuckwit and a positive menace, and really, it's a disgrace that the reptiles should keep running your column and this sort of police state rhetoric …

We've already seen the form on Australian beaches when Australians are beguiled into the notion that it's all an over-reaction, it's just another form of flu, and a few useless oldies like our Henry will kick the bucket, and where's the harm in that?

And why did the pond find it particularly ironic? Well the very same day, the lizard Oz editorialist decided to wax indignant …

Yes, just as our Henry is rabbiting on about prudence, the lizard Oz editorialist decided to bash the pollies for not telling the deadly story, and instead sweeping it under the carpet ...

Public disquiet?

Publishing our Henry's column caused the pond immense disquiet …have you no shame, no awareness of your own rag, lizard Oz editorialist?

All the lizard Oz editorial is useful for is padding between cartoons …

But do go on, talk up the deadly pandemic and unconscionable approach, while publishing the tripe featured in our Henry's column ...

Yes, there have been major fuck-ups, and the Ruby Princess was a classic. 

But how many people have Fox News and Hannity and a bunch of others and their pet Donald managed to kill? 

And how, in his own humble way, might our Henry manage to kill, if anyone took his words seriously, and decided that the current rules were an overstretch and an infringement of liberties and it was okay to get out and about and spray a little virus here or there? 

Or all the other reptiles down under humbugging away about a police state, including, no less, in recent days, the lizard Oz editorialist.

Openness? Humbug, the pond says, and being partial to humbuggery, the pond decided to press on with another lizard Oz editorial ...

Uh huh, here it comes … the paw outstretched, with the plea, "spare a silver coin, guv'nor" for the humble reptiles doing it hard on hand-to-mouth poverty row ...

Say what? It's a mega story? And the pond should call Paul Fletcher?

Sorry, the broadband's a little stretched at the moment, and the last the pond heard from Fletcher was nonsense about the way the everything was going spiffingly well with the NBN.

Do you ever read your own rag, lizard Oz editorialist?

And who does the pond blame for this situation, apart from the obvious one, being Malware? Why, the Murdochians, and their stooges, who first tried to ruin connectivity to save the old Foxtel model, and since then have done a Hannity every step of the way ...

Read that and weep,  Hannity reptiles down under: "Eventually the NBN's out-of date technology will need to be replaced right across the network."

But the pond isn't sure why the good prof is worried about medical connectivity and the need for a technology upgrade?

Didn't our Henry just blather on endlessly explaining that we were all right, Jack and Jill, and it wouldn't happen here?

And having helped wreck the NBN, the lizard Oz editorialist is now using a pandemic to try to take down the reptiles'  enemies?

Oh how the pond felt the need for a Rowe, with more Rowe fixes here …

Now back to the reptile moaning and whining and wailing and carry-on, and thank the long absent lord, it's the last gobbet and a Friday, those in these endless days without the sun, who knows if it really is a Friday … and who would bother to read the moaning reptiles to try and find out ...

Meanwhile, in the United States, the Donald, ably aided and abetted by Fox News, has pushed the country to an extremely parlous, perilous position … with lies and snake oil salesmanship of the worst kind, and with insufferable sycophantic support from the Murdochians …

And for this, the pond should give a toss about the whining and the moaning down under?

And so, for anyone who's endured far too much for a Friday, here's a few from the infallible Pope … with the first one having fun with another reptile phobia ...

Sorry, infallible Pope, that lesson is a little too advanced for our Henry, who couldn't even fix a bloody hole in a bucket …