The Optus The

Everyone knows the joke right, it's an oldie but a goodie. Sideshow Bob is just showing Bart the German for "The Bart The".

Which is why the pond cheerfully sends out a greeting, Die Optus Die, Die Malcolm Turnbull Die, Die HFC Die.

So there was the pond cheerfully working away, filling up the already full to overflowing intertubes with useless data, when suddenly everything dies. Nada, zip, nihil, nothing. Not a flicker of life, not a a spark, nary a node ...

Yes, the pond saves regularly, but not every nanosecond, so stuff was lost. Consternation, confusion, chaos.

What could have happened.

The technical service people didn't know. Re-start the modem, walk around in a circle chanting "the intertubes is all knowing", pray to the great digital bytes in the sky, and maybe the magic link would be restored.

But what was the point? The phone had also dropped out - yes Virginia there is a land line ...

In the end, the pond was able to get to read this:

Did that stick in the craw or what?

Planned outage? Scheduled an outage

Only in Optus's lunch time.

They didn't even bother telling their own technical services people, let alone their customers.

Bruce put it well: dancing in the fucking dark.

The pond understands that Singapore has quite good broadband services.

Why doesn't big Mal fuck off to live there, and while he's at it, why doesn't he take Optus and the HFC and the shitty copper wires outside the pond that makes ADSL but a dream or a nightmare, with him.

Die Optus Die
Die Big Mal Die
Die HFC Die