Persecution complexes all round ...

(Above: Guy Body in the New Zealand Herald in 2009. Who would have guessed they felt that way in New Zealand?)


Gutted.

That's the only bogan word that will serve the pond at the news that the Ten network has decided to end its breakfast program and dispense with the services of Paul Henry.

Never watched it and now deprived of the choice of not watching it. This was being in it for the long haul?

Oh sure mUmBRELLA provided the six messiest moments from the show, here, but they were too raw and too indigestible. Has anybody got highlights of the highlights?

So what are the Hamster Wheel lads going to do now that the source of their very best jokes has departed the scene?

In other news, it seems that the ABC's man in charge, Mark Scott, will be in London this weekend. Now there's some handy timing. Devotees of Australian drama will recall that back in October the ABC drama The Slap was nominated for an Emmy, and it was one of the onerous burdens of being the man in charge that saw Scott head off to New York to collect the gong. But this time he's in London.

Happily this timing is almost certain to have nothing to do with the BBC's current woes ... but remember where you read it, just in case.

And if that's not enough, the punters of New South Wales are currently being treated to a parade of charlatans, rogues, scoundrels, ne'er do wells, cheats, frauds, liars and miscreants, all of whom seem to have in common a deep desire to service the workers of the state via the NSW Labor party. (ICAC told of Obeid's $100m deal, forced video at end of link).

But the most shocking and terrifying thing of all?

There's no column from that pompous prattling Prufrock Gerard Henderson in the Fairfax rag this morning! The tides have stopped flowing, the moon in the pond's life has gone.

Now there might be an explanation in the printed edition - Mr. Henderson is unwell, Mr. Henderson preferred to howl at the moon than file his copy, and so on and so forth - but it means that instead Fairfax readers have the choice of reading big Mal on the economic giants being run out of Washington and Beijing, and former Chairman Rudd turning up for yet another soapbox display, also on China.

Sheesh.

It seems Henderson watchers will have to be content with the last edition of the Media Watch Dog, issue no 162, 9th November 2012.

A quick read will convince anyone objective bystander that the prattling Prufrock has been driven barking mad by his persecutors, by the Hamster Wheel lads (how he hates them called lads, how right it is - even if actually wrong - to call them lads), and by Mark Latham, Stephen Koukoulas,  the ABC, and Media Watch and Four Corners and the whole damn cabal who refuse to bow down to the mighty wisdom of Prufrock.

It's a little corner of the intertubes where Hendo lets down his hair, but really he's fighting so many wars on so many fronts, is it a wonder that he makes slips, errors and seems to have developed a massive persecution complex?

People at Fairfax read his dull torpid meanderings and think they've come into contact with desiccated coconut, but in the Media Watch Dog world, Hendo loves to hand out awards like Narcissistic Fool of the Week.

That's right, it's a kind of schizophrenia. During the day Hendo pretends to be a dullard Dr. Jekyll, but at night he turns into a rampaging Mr. Hyde, smoting mightily all around him with his fine Edwardian cane.

The whole thing reaches an epic of indignation when Henderson carries on about how long Four Corners might have spent interviewing Greg Sheridan. It's truly weird, and there's a plethora of "with the greatest of respect of course" ironic insertions which are quite Dickensian.

Henderson seems to think it's his duty to take up the burden of protesting to the ABC about the treatment by the ABC of Cardinal Pell and Greg Sheridan, as if they were incapable of doing it themselves.

It's like watching a mind unravel in slow motion, and it's good Hendo took time off from today's column. He needs a long, long holiday, and some professional help with the persecution complex ...

The pond says this with the greatest respect, of course. Of course (oops, the disease is catching).

Will Hendo head into a flying rage after reading David Penberthy's piece boxing on at The Punch, If it's arrogance you want, go to Pell.

Does Penbo work at the ABC? No?  Well there you go, pass on in peace Penbo.

And just below Penbo, the pond couldn't but help noticing that Kevin Andrews, member of the Catholic Pontifical Council for the Laity, (or so his wiki is saying here), is once again sounding alarums about the decline in population, and the need for more breeding, and get fucking people, there's work to be done, but of course only fucking for a purpose and never for indulgent pleasure. (One for mum, one  for dad & one for our ageing population).

The last time the pond checked in to the world population clock, it was at the 7.051 billion mark, and would hit 7.100 billion by January. With a bit of luck the world might only reach between 8 and 10.5 billion, the currently anticipated mean being 9.2 billion, by 2050.

Yet in a world already under stress, all Andrews has to offer is this kind of blather, typical of a Catholic church fearful that its Ponzi scheme for new recruits might be suffering a setback:

As the population ages, there are fewer workers and the numbers of dependent aged grows, there is a drain on resources. Japan is already experiencing the impact, and China will in the coming two decades, as it enters long-term depopulation. 
Australia ignores these trends at its peril.

Uh huh. And what will the world be like with 9.2 billion people, all aspiring to middle class American lifestyles?

Andrews ignores this question at his peril, but as the piece really is just a mindless excuse to defend the Baby Bonus, and a chance to bash Labor, don't expect anything by way of insight.

The thought of Kevin Andrews with his hands back on the levers of government - he truly is a bear with very little brain - is almost as frightening as imagining the NSW Labor party trying to run the state.

Oh dear, there it goes again, the Hendo persecution complex.

And so to the best line of the week:

In one of the true ironies of modern political campaigning, a relentlessly negative and obsessive campaign is being run to portray an opponent as relentlessly negative and obsessive.

Yes, and never mind that said opponent was relentlessly negative and obsessive, and praised for it, at least until recent times when it began to fall on barren soil (that breeding problem again). So you could do a hasty re-write:

In one of the true ironies of modern political campaigning, a relentlessly negative and obsessive campaign is being run to portray an opponent as relentlessly negative and obsessive, when all the opponent did was mount a relentlessly negative and obsessive campaign about that witch, Bob Brown's bitch, the carbon tax, the NBN, yadda yadda and so on ...

Have you guessed where we are yet? Here's another clue:

Yet Abbott's character hasn't changed - he's no more sexist or old-fashioned than he was in December 2009 and he has not unveiled any controversial policies of late. Indeed, he's hardly unveiled any policy at all.

Yep, it's that ponce Dennis Shanahan trying to find good news for Tony Abbott after the latest Newspoll found him at an all-time low, in Labor's negativity pays off in the short run (behind the paywall so you don't have to worry or care).

Of course the header could equally have been Tony Abbott's negativity paid off in the short run, but is now hard to sustain in the long run, but what the pond finds truly admirable is Shanahan's defence of Abbott as a sexist, old-fashioned dinosaur who hasn't changed at all since December 2009, and hasn't the wit or the nouse to produce any policies of late, not  even additions to his extensive suite of controversial ones. Which is to oppose everything in sight.

What are you against Tony? What have you got?

Not to worry, with abusive friends like that, who needs enemies.

Could it be that Shanahan is trying an inside run, to take the title of "best persecution complex" from Gerard Henderson?

Watch out Hendo, everybody's out to get you ...

And so to a Tuesday reading, since Hendo isn't there to be read:

'But, what's the matter--are you ill?' said Nicholas, suddenly breaking off, as his companion, after throwing himself into a variety of uncouth attitudes, thrust his hands under the stool, and cracked his finger-joints as if he were snapping all the bones in his hands. 
Newman Noggs made no reply, but went on shrugging his shoulders and cracking his finger-joints; smiling horribly all the time, and looking steadfastly at nothing, out of the tops of his eyes, in a most ghastly manner. 
At first, Nicholas thought the mysterious man was in a fit, but, on further consideration, decided that he was in liquor, under which circumstances he deemed it prudent to make off at once. He looked back when he had got the street-door open. Newman Noggs was still indulging in the same extraordinary gestures, and the cracking of his fingers sounded louder that ever. (Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby, chapter four)


(Below: somehow this felt right for Hendo).