Lord Monckton, and the antipodean follies tour continues ...

(Above: now there's how to launch an aggregating UK masthead, over the bones of a once proud devourer of forests).

As the nation's record, the heart of the nation, the veritable gargantuan organ of the nation, it falls to The Australian the arduous task of recording the Monckton Follies on its current tour of the antipodes.

Most recently the paper has devoted an unseemly amount of space to the unseemly encounter between the ABC's Adam Spencer (a local celebrity, who can be seen - gasp - at the Marrickville Metro shopping centre on odd occasions) and Lord Monckton, as in Caroline Overington's Christopher Monckton won't lord it over us, assert ABC, Fairfax.

Overington gets quite upset about the dust-up, and even more so the decision of Fairfax to strip the Lord of his lordship, on the basis that he is not actually a member of the House of Lords:

"Hi all," it (a Fairfax memo) said. "We are not calling him 'Lord'. This is the reason: although Monckton calls himself a lord, he is not a member of the House of Lords. He is a hereditary peer. In 1999, a law debarred most hereditary peers, including his father, from sitting or voting in the House of Lords. Tks, Steve."

Lord Monckton spoke at a Sydney function last night, and, all being well, will address the National Press Club on July 19.

Yes, you see, there's the rub, as Overington confirms that the Lord is a Lord in her eyes, and there's an end to it. Lordy lordy, as Annie Hall used to say, lah-de-dah (or la-di-da, if you well)

And quite right too. We've never had a problem calling Screaming Lord Sutch a Lord, revered founder of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party as he is, and we always thought it was right and proper that Lord Haw-Haw should have been honoured with a Lordship. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. was knighted by Queen Noor of Jordan, while Dame Edna was of course honoured in the film Barry McKenzie Holds His Own by monarchist Gough Whitlam with her very own dame-ship.

When you take into account Lord Mayors and Lord Chief Justices and m'lud here and m'lady there, there's a plethora of lords to go around. And being a loaf ward or bread keeper surely qualifies you to pass comment on just about anything, including climate science:

According to the Oxford Dictionary of English, the etymology of the word can be traced back to the Old English word 'hlāford' which originated from 'hlāfweard' meaning 'bread keeper' or 'loaf-ward', reflecting the Germanic tribal custom of a chieftain providing food for his followers. Lady, the female equivalent, originates from a similar structure, believed to have originally meant 'loaf-kneader.' (wiki here).

That's right, loaf-kneader Overington's getting agitated about the right of geese to call themselves loaf wardens or bread keepers, and so give themselves airs and graces, sometimes above their station.

Only in the Murdoch press, which these days specialises in sacking hundreds so a few at the top - the Lords of Management, so to speak - are saved.

As for the measured tones of the Monckton follies, you can see how Spencer failed Broadcaster Baiting 101 by resorting to the lizard Oz, here, which faithfully lays out the ABC's perfidy in transcript form.

And you can get an even better idea of the dimensions of his Lordship's intellectual offerings in an AAP piece, picked up and run by the lizard Oz under the header Carbon pricing means 'bye bye Oz' says climate change sceptic Lord Christopher Monckton.

During a colourful presentation in Sydney today, Lord Monckton had a message for Prime Minister Julia Gillard.

"Julia, baby, you're not going to introduce a carbon tax, because if you do, it's bye bye Australia," he said to roars of approval from the few hundred paying audience members.

Lord Monckton said he had come back to Australia to give his "right of reply" to former prime minister Kevin Rudd, who he said "made some very rude remarks about me".

"But Rudd, baby, you're gone," he said.

And Ms Gillard - who Lord Monckton said has also made some rude remarks - should watch her step.

"Julia, darling, I'd be very careful before you do that again. Look what happened to the former prime minister.

Colourful presentation? Well I guess it's all we can expect of the circus. Clowns and daring acts on a verbal trapeze.

But how funny to get agitated about a Lord who manages to knight Baby Kevin Rudd and Darling Baby Julia Gillard.

It makes me think that Caroline Overington should be presented with the honorary title Dill Pickle Caroline Overington, as I've always found a nice sharp cheese and a dill pickle goes well with breadkeeping ...

Oh alright, I only ran this piece so I could put a celebratory front page cap of the launch of the UK Huffington Post up above. And dream of the day the collective Murdoch Lordships do the same to our very own heart of the nation ...

Meanwhile, all going well, the Monckton follies will continue the tour of the antipodes, and silly journalists will be able to fill up silly acres of space with silliness ...

And now m'luds and m'ladies, a nonsense song from 1883 for your musical pleasure:

La-di-da, La-di-do,
He's a well-known old Adonis,
La-di-da, La-di-do,
You may tell it by his nose,
La-di-da, La-di-do,
For the colour all his own is,
It's a pleasing combination
Of the beetroot and the rose.