David Cameron, Paul Sheehan, and the meerkats dance while the Murdoch empire flounders ...

(Above: the first part of a classic First Dog, with more First Dog available here and the full cartoon currently available to subscribers).

A long lost Anglophilia bubbled to the surface of the pond last night watching the cavortings of the English parliament live on ABC24.

We'd intended to watch a movie, but for some reason ended up on the rarer part of the dial and immediately became entranced. David Cameron is an adept, engaging parliamentary performer, albeit in a prattish public school boy way, and by the end of the show butter hadn't melted in his mouth, and he emerged as almost saintly for giving Andy Coulson a break.

But what was most entertaining were the rituals of the house, with MPs rising and falling like meerkats in a bid to catch the Speaker's eye, and the whimsical Speaker himself, delivering little homilies and asides, while maintaining order and making poor old Harry Jenkins sound like a braying colonial ass.

And then there was the full blown range of stereotypes, from the Major in Fawlty Towers to the complete cast of Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister, these days with a multicultural tinge, and a sprinkling of women. And then there were the questions, plenty of inane Dorothy Dixers and cheap point scoring, but all done in such a civilised, quintessentially British way.

A special commendation for the MP who deplored the tone of partisan questioning in the parliament before she went on to ask a cheap, tawdry partisan question of the most self-serving kind. And for sheer stoicism, there was Nick Clegg looking like he'd swallowed a badger, a stoat or a weasel, and so grumpy that eventually the director changed to a new angle, for fear that Clegg's unhappy look might break the lens.

Oh it was a splendid, jolly, entrancing night of Meerkatism, way better than a movie, but just like a movie, and every so often we felt moved to shout "Shame", "Shame", as if in some Wagnerian chorus ...

But enough of movie reviews - all we can do is urge you to see the show if it ever plays again in a theatre near you - because the pond's beat is the callow commentariat, and sure enough there's Paul Sheehan turning up like a bad penny this morning to put the best spin on it he can manage, for Rupert and his minions, in Plot getting thicker but News not for burial.

Really, for comedy stylings, Sheehan gives Meerkatism a go:

I even saw, live, the mock pie attack on Murdoch. You couldn't script it. Yet the attack merely served to underline the gravity with which Rupert and James Murdoch were addressing the ethical problems that had tainted their company.

Gravity? Oh spare me days. Surely the loon saved Murdoch's bacon, since the tone after the stupidity was much different to proceedings before the activist decided to reveal the self-defeating stupidity of activists wanting their five seconds of tabloid fame ...

Never mind, on Sheehan rambles, reading as if he's looking to a gig with News Corp before retirement:

Much of the coverage of the corporate embarrassment of Murdoch and the structural damage to his $40 billion media empire has suffered from a want of perspective and an excess of schadenfreude.

Somehow Sheehan manages to deplore schadenfreude while at the same time producing a splendid bout of schadenfreude:

The parliamentary committee hearing in London may have been the beginning of the end of News Corp as a family company, but is not the beginning of the end of the empire. Quite the contrary. News Corp should emerge from this controversy stronger, not weaker, because it can no longer be run for the primary benefit of Murdoch himself.

Um, isn't that the entire point of the schadenfreude? Le Roi est mort, vive le Roi!, except in this case the new le Roi is going to find it hard to be a Murdoch carrying on the family control and power ...

As to the fate of the empire, who knows whether in five or ten years, it will have held together, or been torn apart, like so many empires before it. Murdoch has assembled and built a disparate set of assets on a number of continents, and handily self-contained, so that takeover and scrap metal merchants can eye off the goods and if they like them, make off with them. I guess there's a reason Sheehan is a journalist rather than a private equity pirate ...

As well as giving the corporation a fiscal clean bill of health, Sheehan also manages to sanitise the activities and the zealotries of the Murdoch empire, which according to Sheehan are almost saintly, except for one rotten apple.

Yes the sweet cherubins of News Corp are far removed from the tawdry values of the News of the World newspaper, which makes you wonder what Sheehan thinks of the behaviour of Fox News in the United States, the Daily Terror in Sydney, The Sun in the U.K., the Post in New York, The Australian purporting to be the dark heart of the nation, The Punch reducing the IQ of the nation even as we speak, the late unlamented showcasing of Glenn Beck, and the whole tribe of Faux Noise pundits, and ... and ... and ...

Second thoughts, don't ask, don't wonder, as Sheehan thinks Genghis Khanism quite splendid, and much more ideologically sound than Meerkatism.

The rest of the piece is an astute praising of Murdoch for abandoning newspapers and turning to television, and then in a dose of real schadenfreude, Sheehan uses the occasion to predict the imminent end of newspapers:

The events of the past few weeks, even the past 48 hours, have speeded up the entire process of the media's mass migration into the digital age. Every media company which owns major newspapers in the English-speaking world now must question the longevity and viability of printed newspapers, however venerable and respected their brands may be. They become at risk on the day their structural costs become greater than their revenues.

Uh huh. In just 48 hours, and all because Murdoch shut down a rag to save a television bid, as if this explains the sudden desire to shift to the intertubes.

This is such a profoundly absurd red herring, it's hard to know where to begin, as if News of the World hadn't attempted to join the digital age, and indeed back in 2010 moved behind the News Corp online paywall (News of the World moves behind paywall), such that it cost punters a quid a day to get their online fix, or two quid for a four week subscription.

Sheehan's attempt to dress up the specific, and immediate embarrassment offered the Murdoch world by the NOTW's sordid activities as a kind of digital turning point is rich comedy gold.

That day has already arrived for many American newspapers, where the migration of advertisers and readers to the internet has been more aggressive than in Australia. Quality journalism is expensive and the internet is cheap, a conundrum that has not been resolved.

Actually news of the day is relatively inexpensive, and it's the spin offered by the commentariat and by news gathering organisations that might turn out to be too expensive for the punters.

Pay for Paul Sheehan's thoughts, if they're lurking behind a paywall? Why, I'm sorry, but at a cent for the day, that kind of opinion mongering is hugely expensive, and the internet, awash with opinions and meerkats, is relatively cheap.

Never mind, Sheehan then offers up a final bit of schadenfreude, though we hesitate to call it that because he clearly doesn't like being in the schadenfreude business, though he routinely offers up schadenfreude with a bash of bile and lemon bitters on a weekly basis:

Yesterday, Rupert Murdoch had what he described as the most humbling day of his career. He has, however, built a media company that has the bulk and breadth to prosper long after he has gone. The only real casualty is the vanity that News Corp can remain a family company.

With a bit of luck, the real casualty is the vanity that News Corp can remain a source of yellow press ideological and political thuggery.

And here the fate of the Hearst empire holds out some hope. After William Randolph Hearst - a man with sufficient clout to nudge the United States into a war with Spain in 1898 - departed the scene of his muckraking newspaper empire, the Hearst Corporation lost its megalomaniac tang, and now operates as a much more sedate publisher of magazines, local and weekly newspapers, and owner of television networks. The controlling trust still contains Hearst family members, but the desire to maintain an ideologically driven empire has given way to the practical business of running a relatively consolidated company with a range of media businesses.

And that might be the real casualty of the Murdoch empire, if the dismantling of the Murdoch legacy gets under way in earnest.

First the absurd share holding structure might go, and with it the personal, family control and the personal benefits, but second, bits of the empire might be picked off and devoured by others, in much the same way as the News of the World became extinct overnight.

Suddenly the meerkats understand that the emperor might actually have no clothes, or at least not enough to rule over fully clad politicians, and then there will be only one word to describe the pleasure watching the fate of the family empire unfold.

Schadenfreude.

Bring it on.

Oh and please, in the meantime, can someone bring the meerkats down under, and teach the braying colonials in Canberra how to stage a decent parliament ...

UPDATE: oh and we almost forgot to mention the splendid contribution of the anonymous editor at The Australian, under the hook Gillard seems caught in News Corporation schadenfreude, with the header Providing the answers is hard without questions. The piece provides a splendid bout of dissembling, disingenuous, sanctimonious and righteous justifications of the corporate empire, as befits a minion of Murdoch, and can be warmly recommended to all connoisseurs of humbuggery, but this in particular caught the eye:

Inevitably, any attempt by politicians to bring the fourth estate to heel should be treated with great wariness. The Australian eschews cosy relations with the government, the opposition or any politicians. We always remain open to cordial dealings and the exchange of ideas but we make no apology for reserving the right to scrutinise, criticise and hold to account any politician in the interests of our readers.

Uh huh. As exemplified by the rag's coverage of Tony Abbott, climate change, and the role an NBN might play in the digital age. If I'd had the computer near the breakfast bowl, I'm afraid I'd have snorted into the milk and the cornflakes. But then it got even better:

We will continue to do this, with no complacency, and with a focus on truth, ethical practices and without being beholden to anyone. That is simply our job - no question about it.

Along with vengeful, mindless crusades and vindictive petty opinion-making passing for journalism?

Roll on the paywall, and I'll have some schadenfreude with that please. Make it a double serving of sneering elitist latte ...

(Below: hmm, what would be the best greeting card for homeless, dispossessed members of the commentariat?)