Scott Morrison and please, won't everyone just forget about the children ...

While the Labor party goes into self-destruction mode over its patently problematic, badly devised and ineptly implemented immigration policies, this little gem shouldn't go unnoticed.

It's a bit of street theatre where Scott Morrison, terrier down the rabbit hole opposition spokesman on the subject, dances on the head of a pin:

SCOTT MORRISON: The Coalition's policy is for people who arrive illegally in Australia to be sent to Nauru...

SIMON SANTOW: Including unaccompanied children?

SCOTT MORRISON: Because all the facilities that would be on Nauru, including for families and others because there is no razor wire on Nauru, would be as good if not better than what is available at Christmas Island or the Australian mainland.

SIMON SANTOW: So unaccompanied children would be going to Nauru?

SCOTT MORRISON: The Coalition's policy has been crystal clear on this matter from day one and as we implemented it in government.

SIMON SANTOW: Well why won't you say it, that's all? I'm just asking you to say it, so...

SCOTT MORRISON: Well I've told you what our policy is and that's what our policy is.

SIMON SANTOW: So will unaccompanied children then go to Nauru should you be in government?

SCOTT MORRISON: Everyone who comes to Australia, family groups, others - they will all go to Nauru where there will be the appropriate facilities.

And we will know where they are every hour of the day, where they go to school, the medical treatment they receive, the meals they receive, every day until they are either returned home or resettled in another country.

SIMON SANTOW: What sort of credibility does an organisation like UNICEF have in your eyes?

SCOTT MORRISON: Well the United Nations, all of their bodies, the Coalition would seek to work closely with all of these organisations.

SIMON SANTOW: So UNICEF says that it's not acceptable to send unaccompanied children anywhere offshore. Do they have a point?

SCOTT MORRISON: Well the Coalition's policies, we feel strongly about ...

SIMON SANTOW: Do you think that children have gone through trauma to get to Australia?

SCOTT MORRISON: (Pause) Sorry?

SIMON SANTOW: Do you think that children have gone through trauma to get to Australia in these situations, these circumstances?

SCOTT MORRISON: There are 10.5 million people around the world classified as refugees who are in very difficult situations. They are in camps all around the world. I think all of these people are in a difficult situation. (and you can hear Scott Morrison putting himself in a difficult verbal situation in Children not exempt from swap deal: Bowen).

How simple it would have been for Morrison to say "yes, our policy is that unaccompanied children will be sent to Nauru because we think they'll love the picnics and the holiday atmosphere and the chance to live on an island surrounded by sea and we'll be making sure they get treats every day", or some such blather, instead of sounding like the Labor party, and dancing around the point ...

The notion that the Liberal party has suddenly gone all cuddly and caring about refugees and are shocked that anyone would wield the cane in Malaysia is one of the more surreal media sights to unfold in recent times, a bit like the bizarre notion that the Liberal party stands up for struggling workers against evil elites. Like billionaires and big business.

Santow deserves an elephant stamp for drawing attention to the elephant in the room, a role generally abandoned by ABC reporters as they rush to report what the Murdoch press is saying.

Both major parties should be given a good caning for their pandering to extremists, and for their pig-headed refusal to arrive at a joint policy, but at last somebody has called out Morrison for his hypocrisy.

In a week when most commentators were distracted by the polemic of 'won't someone think of the cattle', it took a 'won't someone think of the children' moment, but it was delicious all the same.

SCOTT MORRISON: Well I've told you what our policy is and that's what our policy is.

No you didn't you goose, spell it out, say it ....

Let's kick those unaccompanied children off to Nauru for fear that they're the thin edge of the wedge, and the utter ruination of western civilisation as we know it. And they'll have ever so much fun ...

High moral ground?

How can anyone find it standing in a swamp?

(Below: time for unaccompanied children to learn decent Australian values? Oh the good old days of the bomber, found here in the NMA's collection of best cartoons for 2006).