In which the minions of Murdoch once again rail at liberals, the Irish, Catholics, inner city dwellers and the ABC. Same as it ever was ...

(Above: sorely needed inspiration for the African church).

Last week the pond discreetly overlooked Christopher Pearson's excellent contribution to the keeping of the Catholic church in the nineteenth century, in Sacked Toowoomba bishop discogers Rome's world still law.

Oh there was a fine flurry of high minded high falutin' Latin words as Pearson explained theology to a bishop of the church, and reprimanded him for heresies small and large, including his vox populi vox deo ways and his love of cheap grace.

Lordy, everyone knows grace in the Catholic church must be as expensive as possible, and that the Vatican must be coated in pagan Roman marble for it to provide a suitably splendid way through the eye of the needle, past the mote in the eye, on the camel ride to heaven ...

Actually it's more like keeping a thousand year old tradition of 'sssh, whatever you do, don't mention women and the priesthood' or get agitated about clerical celibacy, as you can discover by reading a thoroughly biased and pedantic wiki Clerical celibacy, that has the paw prints of the church all over it ...

No wonder there was a Reformation for more sensible folks, including monarchs who want to cavort like a modern day Windsor.

Well if we paid scant regard to Pearson's complete predictability, not to worry, there's Angela Shanahan having another go at demonising poor old Bishop William Morris of Toowooba in New wave of conservatism as migrants bolster Catholic church.

Shanahan is enraptured at the way the new world is far more conservative than the old, and on reading the piece you almost expect her to burst into song about the wonderful persecution of homosexuals in Africa (would The Book of Shanahan and Pearson be too off Broadway?)

Her inspiration is Francis Arinze:

In many parts of the world, the family is under siege. It is opposed by an anti-life mentality as is seen in contraception, abortion, infanticide, and euthanasia. It is scorned and banalized by pornography, desecrated by fornication and adultery, mocked by homosexuality, sabotaged by irregular unions and cut in two by divorce.

According to Arinze, liberals are brats, and Shanahan too can see the creeping signs of heresy:

... a polarisation is emerging in the Catholic Church between doctrinal and liturgically orthodox minorities (some championing a revival of the Latin mass) and the mainstream, infected in various degrees with irreverence, lax practices and, in its most extreme manifestations, heresy. Pity the confused everyday middle-of-the-road Catholic.

Yes, it's the eye of the camel, and the straining of gnats and liturgical purity all over again, and never mind that Morris took a firm stand against child abuse, and never mind support within an informal meeting of bishops, the secular press have been all over Morris without realising that single handedly he and other liberal ratbags have reduced the influence of the Catholic church, and been conducive to ... gasp ... heresy. Burn him, or at least sack him.

That the simmering discontent of the Australian hierarchy has bubbled over on this issue is not surprising. The church in Australia, both priests and laity, partly because of its origins in the Irish convict-descended underclass, and its traditional links with the Labor movement, has always emphasised social action over doctrinal purity. Since the 70s the Australian church has moved rapidly to the Left, with doctrinal orthodoxy almost gone in many institutions, especially schools. It is a phenomenon of a church under the thrall of secularism that although the schools are bursting with kids, there are no babies crying any more in church on Sunday.

Yes, it's those bloody Irish ratbags, and socialists and leftists and secularists in thrall to heresy rather than doctrinal purity who've ruined the church, while the Pellists do their valiant best to battle climate change and save the world for carbon polluters ...

It was the post-Vatican 11 liberalism that ruined everything, but there is an upside. You know all those boat people that conservatives routinely revile? They're the salvation of the church, turning it aside from that pitiful bog Irish mentality that the church should care for its flock:

... there has been an influx of Catholic immigrants, particularly in Sydney and in Melbourne. The new face of Australian Catholicism is largely Asian, Vietnamese, Filipinos and Indians, particularly in city congregations. Along with this is a revival in conservative practices in Australia, particularly among these groups. This seems to be an indication of something that is obvious across the world.

Oh dear, what a mixed message. Out with the wondrous Anglo-celtic heritage, and in with the conservative retrograde practices of foreigners. Whatever would Pauline Hanson make of it? Well it's anything it takes to do down those pesky naughty liberals:

The church's decline is most obvious in the liberal parishes, with a younger, more vibrant group among the more doctrinally orthodox conservatives.

It's a revolution, I tells ya, and it's sweeping the country, and it's orthodox v liberal, and the liberals are copping a thumping from young conservatives, and so we can continue to see the Pellists battle climate change, homosexuality, and women having a significant role in the church:

This is happening across Australia. This was starkly illustrated during Sydney's World Youth Day in 2008 when, to the shock of many, young people from across the world brought their own orthodox brand to Sydney.

Morri's Toowoomba spruikers should take heed.

Truly the conservative Catholic thinkers seem to have found a home in The Australian - what a strange demographic the rag appeals to - and provide comedy stylings week in, week out.

It almost makes me believe in god sometimes, that she should have led me away from these absurdities into a world where tugging the theological forelock and abasing oneself and donning the cilice for sundry guilts, impurities and unorthodoxies and ideological and theological heresies is no longer seen as the path of heaven, which in any case might simply be what we can make of the life to be led on earth ...

Still we can add liberals in the Catholic church to climate change scientists and spruikers for the NBN as bête noires for the minions of Murdoch. These forsaken lost secularists souls are always ready to be fitted up like patsies and piñatas, and given a good beating.

Oh and we almost forgot the ABC as the other chief bête noire, because the Oz is at it again with the anon editorialist offering up Leadership is needed to reclaim taxpayers' ABC, and Chris Kenny producing a rant about clap happy Mark Scott's interview with The Guardian, leading him to ask the rhetorical question Whose ABC?

It's hard to know what upsets the minions more. The fact that Scott talked to a "progressive" newspaper, or as the anon edit puts it "the left-of-centre newspaper's head of media and technology Dan Sabbagh."

The notion that the ABC is a "market failure broadcaster" has sent the minions into a righteous fury, with the anon edit blaming it all on:

A sly coup by a coterie of like-minded, inner-city staff has commandeered the ABC's transmitters and stipend to broadcast almost exclusively to the vocal minority who share their prejudices.

What, you mean like the minions of Murdoch, who rabbit on almost exclusively about that coterie of like-minded inner city liberals who ruin the Catholic church, are responsible for the NBN, and have engaged in a world wide conspiracy to hide the truth about climate change, which isn't happening?

To top it all off, the anon edit demands relevance and respect for the punters from their ABC, which makes you wonder just what relevance and respect we might expect from the minions as they routinely sink the slipper into women, homosexuals and climate change scientists.

You can read the Chris Kenny hatchet job if you like, but really it's just more of the same, full of the same carping and right wing indignation, which sees the minions of Murdoch paint the world in black and white ideological colours.

What seems to have got up their collective noses is that the ABC has blocked a Freedom of Information application for details of the ABC's audience research, and now we look forward with high expectations and optimism to The Australian revealing all the details of its corporate strategies, in particular the implications of Foxtel taking over Austar ... (and let's while we're at it do a little shout out to Tim Dick doing his thing for Fairfax in Pay TV relentless march of media consolidation, wherein he thinks you need an iQ Foxtel box to watch the second episode of Angry Boys. Hello Tim hello? Why not catch up on the third episode while you can on iView? Still at least you're doing cable cutting, and there should be more of it).

What Kenny argues for in his piece seems to be a kind a dictatorial hierarchical structure where Scott bends the ABC to Kenny's right wing view of the world, and all content is filtered to confirm to the Murdoch line.

Well I guess if Rupert Murdoch is your inspiration and your fearless leader ...

Thank the lord there are alternatives in the world, including a sunny day in Sydney on a Saturday. Enough of this tawdry Murdoch nonsense. There's a life to lead. Enjoy it while you can, and if it involves a little harmless sinning or even a heresy or two, what the hell, toujours gai ...

(Below: finally the truth can be told. Rupert Murdoch left his heart in Adelaide in cold storage, along with his picture of Dorian Gray, but not apparently his desire to privatise the ABC. Rupert Murdoch leaves his heart in Adelaide).