Miranda the Devine, Tony Abbott's death stare, and time to bring on Julie Bishop's stare in a duel to the death?

(Above: Tony Abbott gives parliament a taste of his famous death stare, while showing off his terrifying gliding squirrel jab to the carotid artery, more feared than the Karate kid's crane kick by Seven newsmen and Indonesian schools).

Inevitably the fracas about the mute moment of catatonia by the pugilistic Dr No of politics, Tony Abbott, continues, but you have to read Miranda the Devine to get the right take on it.

Abbott beat-up leaves Seven bruised, her header declaims, and the rest is rapturous applause for the way Abbott handled the despicable gotcha question.

Yes the evil Seven empire has reeled away, battered and bruised, given an expert dust up and person handling by Dr No's deft touch.

You see, he didn't beat the crap out of Mark Riley, though he could because he has a manly boxing blue from Oxford. He didn't kick him to death with his steel capped boots, he just borrowed Julie Bishop's death stare:

... if he walked away from the camera it would make him look guilty. He couldn’t punch Riley. So he stared him out.

There's spin, there's revolving in your grave, and then there's Miranda the Devine. But I'm worried for the poor dear, as thus far this morning she's attracted very few comments, and her previous piece only a few, as if she was some isolated blogger working from an outpost of an evil empire.

Meanwhile, comes the astonishing news that there was even more footage of Abbott's death stare:

The Seven Network said yesterday there was an additional 48 seconds of staring, which it chose not to air. It also revealed Mr Abbott's press office was given full details of the material the network had obtained 2 1/2 hours before the interview was conducted, including a full transcript of the Opposition Leader's remarks. (Libs turn on Abbott over TV silence).

Could someone please do an FOI on the network to get the additional 48 seconds of death stare released. At the moment it's like watching Hamlet without the final sword thrust ... or a train wreck with some 48 seconds of the wreck missing. I suppose it isn't an eighteen and a half minute gap, as in the Nixon tapes, but still if we pay for a circus, we should get the full circus ...

And the news that Abbott's office knew about the content right from the start rather gives a twist to the Devine's notion that it was a vicious beat up.

I suppose you can tell someone you're going to do a gotcha and a beat up, and still do a gotcha and a beat up in fine style, but it tends to make the gotcha beat up victim look rather dumb and inept. How silly to turn up to a beat up and leave your notorious gliding squirrel jab in your pocket ...

Meanwhile Abott somehow is attempting to contrive his sullen, head nodding, barely restrained fury as "dignified silence", which gives a new twist to the notion of dignified. I'd like to be that dignified at the next funeral I attend ...

What a relief to learn that Tony Abbott has never punched anyone in the shadow cabinet or the Coalition party room (here), not when he can win a point with a dignified silence, or a death stare ...

More to the point in all the fuss is the way Abbott's staff has been transitioning, and the way his team helped - unless you happen to be a myopic, breathlessly loyal and completely fatuous and furiously spinning Devine - Abbott to make a mess of it:

Although politicians are accountable for their actions, Riley's provocative questioning of Abbott succeeded only in eliciting the response that it did - an enraged silence that made for compelling viewing - because the Opposition Leader's office didn't do its job properly.

Abbott wasn't prepped for what he was walking into. His staff didn't adequately warn him of what was coming. (Lapses by staff hang Tony out to dry).

Ah well, vale Claire Kimball, and how much longer will Liberal power couple Peta Credlin and Brian Loughnane last in their jobs?

The muttering was strong back in January (Time for Brian Loughnane and Peta Credlin to move on, some Lib insiders say), and recent events, like the levy to oppose the levy, can't have helped. Time for the death stare on the pair, or just a dignified silence?

Meanwhile, and at last, Tony Abbott's One Nation inspired proposal to do over Indonesia and its schools is at last claiming some prime time attention, as in this "exclusive", Lib leaders split over foreign cuts, in The Australian, featuring a toxic debate between 'death stare' Abbott and 'death stare' Julie Bishop.

But what better time to tell the Indonesians that "stuff happens" than when the Foreign Minister turns up in Brisbane on Saturday to express sympathy for Queensland flood victims? And that it's nothing personal, but they should get stuffed.

Ms Bishop and other party moderates, including Jamie Briggs, are believed to be concerned that Mr Abbott's tough stance on Indonesian schools has been influenced by the One Nation Queensland website, which has been campaigning on the issue, including sending out emails with the slogan that "charity begins at home".

Oh dear, Tony's taking on the champ of the death stare. And a few Liberal wusses, cry babies, and milk sops:

Mr Briggs, who took over Alexander Downer's seat, said yesterday he didn't want to see the program terminated.

"In this respect, the Indonesian schools program actually was a very effective program and something that Alexander Downer . . . implemented," Mr Briggs told the ABC. "I would be cautious about proceeding down the line of getting rid of it, because it actually is a very important program in terms of Australia's domestic security."

What rubbish. Why with a dozen men armed with Tony Abbott's death stare, Australia can turn back any Islamic insurgent. Go into a Bali bar, greet the suicide bomber with a death stare, and they reel away, done and dusted.

Yet the hysteria continued to mount:

Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd seized on the proposed axing of the program, saying: "There would have to be one person in the world who would be happy with the new policy adopted by the Leader of the Opposition, and that's Abu Bakar Bashir because he supports militant Islamism continuing in the Indonesian education system."

Well yes, and Tony Abbott manages to be at one both with One Nation and Abu Bakar Bashir, an extraordinary feat, but just another day at the office for someone the Devine thinks walks on water, and while so walking, delivers an extraordinary bruising to the Seven network.

Meanwhile, Abbott's office is hard at work denying that Tony Abbott had seen a certain email, while confirming that he was a well-known opponent of One Nation:

One Nation's Queensland spokesman Ian Nelson told the Herald Sun an email had been sent by one of his colleagues to Coalition MPs urging them to slash Australia's $4.4 billion foreign aid.

"Foreign aid is getting out of hand. Every now and again we send through things we'd like to be done," he said.

Liberals confirmed the email had been widely circulated and there had been strong lobbying for the idea.

The email, seen by the Herald Sun, does not mention One Nation but has the Indonesian school scheme listed as the top foreign aid item to be cut. (here).

So the office saw the email, and didn't think to warn Abbott of the implications? Or he just thought, bugger the implications, stuff happens ...

The irony of course is that Howard and Downer concocted the policy after the Bali bombings as a response to the anti-western rhetoric rife in the Indonesian school system ...

Yep, you can rely on Dr. No to say 'no' to anyone, including the Howard government ...

Okay Julie time to get out that death stare, and dust up Mr. Abbott. The Chaser lads were easy prey, but you've seen the Abbott technique at work on Seven, and he faltered. Remember, the tricks's not to blink ... and please, no head nodding, as if you're about to launch into a head butt. That's against the rules ...