Gerard Henderson, and dangerous middle class radicalism strikes yet again ...

(Above: the wolf at the door. Back in the day when they knew the dangers of sectarianism up against decent radical middle class secularism).

Like everyone else, startled by the news that Myers had gone rogue, and become a tax evader (Myers joins e-commerce rush), I faithfully trooped off to myfind, and in particular, since that's my bent, the electrical section.

Amazingly, astonishingly, it featured two - that's two - or as we say in blunt English, 2 - electrical devices. Traumatised by the almost infinite level of choice, I checked out the price for the Acer Aspire Notebook 5472. It was a handsome A$789 plus shipping, a tad higher than the United States pricing of $448, but fiercely competitive with Dick Smith's $799, though I must say if I bothered to front a store with cash, I'd be expecting a 'credit card' discount, with a little added cash discount thrown in, just for the pleasure of the argument with the hapless counter staff ...

I wasn't the only one to notice the inherent stupidity of the site, so it was a great chortle and stress reliever all round, which is just as well, because today is Gerard Henderson day, which means we must shovel desiccated coconut down our mooshes - without benefit of chocolate sponge cake beneath - and murmur how tasty we find the dry, turgid, rarefied, water-free repetitive talking points ...

Repetitive is the key. In some of his pieces Henderson practises what feels like a kind of automatic writing, channeled in from the ether, and full of repetitions. How many times has he scribbled something like this?

The Greens' policies are directed at the interests of inner-city middle-class radicals. However, as Labor understands, the 2013 election will be decided in outer suburbs and regional centres.

Does he ever pause to consider the wondrous incongruity of juxtaposing middle-class and radical? He must, because he does it all the time, but what meaning does he hope to extract from this repetition?

Can the concept of middle class now be stretched to embrace tattooed, hippie-loving anarchist drop out, inner city furry freak brothers and sisters? Are these only the spawn of the middle class, or might the working class still contribute an authentic alternative drop of coffee and red wine?

Why is Henderson so tortured by the spectre of middle class radicals, angrily storming their barista to demand the perfect fix?

You know, I sometimes fantasise about Jack Kerouac turning up and meeting the prissy punctilious Henderson. What would Kerouac make of him? What would Henderson make of Kerouac? How would he respond if Kerouac gave him a man hug? It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it helps me get through a Henderson column ...

And so, glumly reading on through Get used to Gillard and Abbott until at least 2013 (and get used to Gerard Henderson delivering more of the same like a monomaniacal keyboard), there was this familiar refrain:

Appearing on Channel Ten's Meet the Press program, the Greens leader, Senator Bob Brown, declared that "in the wake of the election" his party was "successful in striking a compact with Labor". The Greens invariably get soft interviews. So it was no surprise when left-of-centre-interviewer Paul Bongiorno let this comment go unchallenged.

Invariably? And the world's interviewers, whether cardigan wearing for the ABC or working for the commercial networks, invariably divided into correct thinking or soft left of centre when they don't conform to the blinkered Henderson vision?

Yep, no surprise there, though a hint of paranoia in the bunkered down, hunkered up view of the world.

And so on we go to the next talking point:

When Abbott became Opposition Leader in December 2009, Oakeshott told Port Macquarie News that Abbott's "natural starting point is of concern for Australian politics where no separation of church and state exists in principle".

This was Oakeshott prolix-speak for saying that Abbott cannot be trusted because he is a conservative Catholic. Once upon a time, such a comment would be described (correctly) as an example of sectarianism.

Or could it just be a whimsical memory of that famous moment back in 2004 when Abbott disremembered meeting Pell a mere ten days before? Now it's true that if meeting Pell there's a good chance of nodding off and forgetting the whole thing, but the more likley explanation is that it was a bald faced lie:

When interviewer Tony Jones asked if Mr Abbott had met Cardinal Pell, Mr Abbott replied: "Not that I can recall." Later he said: "Ah, actually, now that you do mention it, I did meet with Cardinal Pell. So what?"

Tony Jones: "Why couldn't you recall meeting him, I think, 10 days ago?"

Mr Abbott: "Look, whenever it was, so what? Why shouldn't I meet Cardinal Pell? Cardinal Pell is a fine man. He made a very good statement the other day about the Labor Party's policy, why shouldn't I meet with him?" (here).

Tsk, tsk, another soft question when surely the follow up should have been 'why such a bald faced liar?', and 'why do you deny discussing Commonwealth funding of Catholic schools with Pell?', coincidentally just before Pell had a go at Latham, and at a time when Mark Latham's education policy was lighting sectarian bonfires.

sectarianism: sectarian spirit or tendencies; excessive devotion to a particular sect, especially in religion.

Yes, that'll do very nicely to describe Abbott's behaviour in the matter. And lying about it. If only it were possible to believe the lie might deliver another six months in purgatory for him ...

As for the rest of the piece, it's yet another recounting of how the independents - the treacherous swine - have flung in their lot with Labor, and are not for moving, and so deserve everything they cop - but as a result, the Labor government will last until the next election, and it's going to be a grind as Dr No and Gillard go at it hammer and tongs ...

Talk of reading the tea leaves. Why it makes the original prattling Polonius sage in his advice.

I guess it also means you should only bet on the favourite in the Melbourne cup.

It's all tediously predictable, with the only relief to hand Henderson's foibles, be they berating dangerous disturbing middle class radicals, scorning wayward independents, or delivering rectitudinarian reprimands to softies ...

Such a narrow intolerant view of the world, that I immediately felt the need to head back to myfind to check out the price on the eMachine eME732Z Notebook, the only other electrical item to hand in a world where electrical items might usually run in the thousands.

And it is relatively keenly priced at $498 plus shipping. And then I suddenly realised that I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in acquiring an eMachine notebook ... and myfind had completely exhausted my interest.

Sic transit Myer's attempt to stir the possum ...

Such is the life of the everyday dangerously radical middle class consumer ...

(Below: if you enjoy this cartoon, myfind could be the online store you're looking for).