(Above: the mighty 3801 at a level crossing at Georges Plain, as featured in the 1974 Film Australia documentary A Steam Train Passes. Those were the days).
Over at Tim Blair's dungeon, the valiant luddite is whipping up a lather about the demise of the old light bulb.
It seems readers are stockpiling illicit globes - and proud of their efforts - and Blair is encouraging the frenzy, as a defiant gesture against the tyrannical rule of the climate change scare mongers.
Like any cheap populist or demagogue, once Blair gets a theme running, there's no stopping him.
Today it's Tower of Power, with a photo of a huge and dangerous stock pile, possibly as dangerous as a nuclear weapons plant in North Korea, while yesterday in Seize the Light, there was another photo of a large illegal stash reminiscent of the ways the Iranians have deceived UN inspectors.
On Monday there was another piece under the header Let There Be Lights, reporting on the stockpiling phenomenon, and the rush to buy, which will evoke memories of the great Y2K panic that afflicted dumb technorati and geeks.
This is all very well, but I'm alarmed that Blair hasn't alerted his readers to the danger of daylight saving, which this year has seen me forced to replace all my curtains with wooden blinds, in the hope (probably vain) that I can avoid the endless damage caused by the increase in sunlight.
It's got so bad this year that I'm thinking seriously about shifting to Queensland, but damn it, stockpiling the necessary number of brown paper bags is proving tricky, and without them, how can I run a decent business?
However to prove that I'm up with the game just this week I've acquired a top loading Sanyo betamax machine, and am currently looking for a couple more - it's surprising what will turn up on eBay. Now I know some fools believe that DVD or even Blu-ray is the way forward, but really ... I've never had a failed tape.
Now tell me how many times you've done a rip and had a dud burn? Why only yesterday those Taiwanese discs dudded me three times. Never again. Now tell me how many SACD discs you listen to!
See this beauty. It'll never go out of date:
The holy grail? Of course it's the Sony EDV-9000, the first ED Beta unit, a handsome beast with a wild eyed anodized aluminum finish, a thick acrylic plate on the front, and more than 500 lines of horizontal resolution, offering end users a taste of extended definition editing! Drool. As if a 100 watt bayonet bulb could match that kind of advanced technological thinking.
Meantime, I'm in the last stages of negotiating the acquisition of a Mac 512 which has been boosted to a kick ass 4mb!
Oh don't you just weep to look at these technological marvels. And still useful, and well worth stockpiling. Why waste your money on a few light bulbs when you can get something still remarkably efficient and useful?
After all, most people only use their computers as word processing machines, and the Mac is the perfect tool. By golly, in their day, they could set you back three grand, and they've lost nothing of their value. A mug tried to convince me that getting a Mac Plus would be a better bet - hah, 1mb up against my modded machine! What a gherkin.
But even an advanced back to the future sort such as myself has to draw the line. Sure I've got two working VHS machines - one sweet thing is chugging away right now - but there's really only one practical use for the wretched things. Re-purposing as a toaster.
And if the Mac 512 doesn't behave, it will have a second purpose. Lit by a proper old fashioned bulb in approved Tim Blair style:
You think I'm kidding? No, no, I'm deadly serious. I'm with Tim Blair, it's back to the future for me. Saving a few bulbs is just the start.
Next thing we have to do is get rid of all the cars off the road. Starting with Blair's ... there, progress right away.
UPDATE: Next week, why the long playing record never went away, why the valve radio must return as the valve came back to hi fi, and why a long handled cast iron waffle iron over an open fire will always do a better job.
UPDATE II: And when will somebody do something about bringing back the crispy bacon we had before the war?
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