The pond realised with a heavy heart that this Wednesday the signs that the lizard Oz is falling apart are growing stronger and stronger.
There was nattering "Ned" at the top of the page, and the pond had no way of avoiding or evading the portentous pointing finger of the both siderist.
No Dame Slap, no bromancer, to leaven the diet … just "Ned" in his most ponderous and pretentious form… oh and a video caught by screen cap with the whirling dervish of doom on view...
What a paranoid loon. The defining polarities are the ABC and Sky News? On a good day during a pandemic, Sky News reaches 2.4 million viewers in a country of some 25 million people …
And SloMo was a victory for Sky and defeat for the ABC? Has there ever been a more simplistic, simple-minded attempt at a culture war in all the reptiles' useless scribbles?
The pond had previously thought of "Ned" as heading towards senility, but perhaps there's a case to say that it's actually in the history and the breeding, and even at the age of twenty, he was always a silly old bugger...
By the way, when it comes to the matter of Sky and the ABC, the pond doesn't have a dog in the fight. Apart from Media Watch, which occasionally looks at the reptiles, the pond watches neither network, and nor do a lot of other people, who instead spend their spare casual time online. In much the same way that reading the reptiles is something of an exotic hobby. Ask a young person if they've heard of nattering "Ned", chances are they haven't even heard of the singer of the same name …
But do go on …and make sure you condescend to indigenous people by explaining their situation to them, because let's face it, they usually are clueless up against the awesome insights of a "Ned" in full flight ...
You do realise that the reduction of human lives to arbitrary statistics to make a political point - a political gesture perhaps - is offensive, especially when coming from an old white dude? A bit like the logic behind what's happening in the land of the Donald …
But do go on, though perhaps the pond should warn that if you drag the ABC into it again, the pond is likely to scream ...
Aaarggghhh, he did, he did … he mentioned the ABC, as if all the recent walking in the streets was somehow the work of the cardigan wearers.
Has reptile paranoia and conspiracy thinking reached a new level, whereby even a doddering old reptile well past retirement age sees the wicked ABC haunting his nightmares?
The pond doesn't know how to explain this to "Ned", but the pond is amongst "Ned's" worst fears, because it haunts Sydney's inner west. And truth to tell, young people in the King street hood gave up social distancing weeks ago …
Apparently they think they're invincible, and so they don't see much difference between hunting for a coffee and heading out to a protest …
If you insist on wearing a mask - as the pond occasionally does - you're looked at as if you're a freak out of an ancient horror movie …
Just as hoarders and toilet paper snatchers were ahead of the reptiles and politicians, so now young people have moved on, and "Ned" and the pollies are apparently unaware …
It means that the pond remains very ginger when out and about amongst the young. But it also means that the ancient "Ned" is truly clueless, and his celebration of Sky News is equally clueless and pathetic.
The Murdochian empire is on the downhill slide, the cable cutting long done, the watching of clips for free their only hope of relevance …
Sad really, but with "Ned" opening the batting at the top of the digital page, the second eleven below the fold was even more pathetic …
Look at that tragic line-up. The pond simply didn't have the heart to go hunting for a sign of the cult master, or even the snark, amongst this rubble ...
A politician who should know better dragooned into being a "contributor", behind a paywall rather than speaking to voters directly? Caroline Overington shanghaied into doing "Strewth!"? Oh the humiliation …
And then the latest signs of the reptile disease ... a couple of WSJ imports to emphasise the rag's status as a minor outpost of the American empire, including one from a token black disavowing Black Lives Matter, no doubt to the applause of his masters, and perhaps in search of a role in a Tarantino movie about the south …
Yes, there was Richo, dissing migrants in approved Dame Groan style, but perhaps in reality he was yearning for a return to the good old days of Swiss bank accounts …
And speaking of that, you won't find the reptiles going near the news from the AFR …
But that left the pond in need of a dessert, so why not sample one of the WSJ imports?
It's true it's not the same as a local reptile - the pond is proudly patriotic and nationalistic to a T (or should that be an N?), but as the lizard Oz is owned by a former Australian who sold his nationality for a mess of pottage and cash in the paw, perhaps it's the only way to go …
Is there an irony here?
Silly old "Ned" just wasted the pond's time explaining how Australia is deeply divided between a couple of TV stations (intertubes what?), and here's the weakly brewed Mead trying to explain how the United States is strong and united …
You know …
Does the heady high alcohol Mead have the first clue about the way the world gets its jollies by marvelling at the enormous stupidity of the US commander-in-chief, barking tweets and commands from his bunker, tin pot banana republic dictator style?
Apparently not ...
Is there any way to break it to the distilled essence of dull Mead that a period of US infirmity and isolationism has already arrived? And blessed with an abundance of conspiracy theories that sap the minds of those living it, and those watching from afar …
Should the pond link to that tweet? Or would it be better to link to the Buffalo News and the Religion News, as noted in those tweets below the Donald's?
Never mind, it's time for the venerable Mead to brood about past glories, as if somehow the base lead of the Donald might be transmuted into FDR gold ...
Dramatic actions? Like fawning all over Vlad, Xi, the North Korean dictator and that Brazilian fuck-up?
Dear comrade Mead, it's slowly dawning on the reptiles that being the US's deputy sheriff hasn't helped convince us that the US is a formidable presence in world affairs … what with Xi conducting a war to bring both Hong Kong and Australia into line ...
But do go on with your delusions ...
So Vlad helps install the Donald, and likely enough will interfere mightily in November, and Xi walks all over the Donald, and for a little fun sends out his flunkeys to scold SloMo on an almost daily basis, and somehow the Chinese are underestimating the way that the Donald has helped fuck America, in much the same way that he fucked his casinos?
Well it's richly amusing as a read - why the bromancer could take a few lessons in how to talk up the Donald and his US chairman master - but meanwhile the GOP, the chairman, Fox News and the kool aid devouring MAGA cap wearing Trumpians are rootin' and tootin' for another four years of the Donald, Ivanka, the boys and all the rest of it …
And if that happens in November, and Vlad gets his boy up again, and Xi keeps on his merry way, it will be time to reflect on the latest US news.
In the meantime, the pond might just as well reflect on a few cartoons as sip on the intoxicating Mead …
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDelete“Trump’s instinct will probably be to take dramatic actions to convince foreign leaders that he remains a formidable presence in world affairs.”
What like this?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/trump-chooses-a-senseless-withdrawal-from-germany-he-threatens-national-security/2020/06/08/9e95ad36-a9a7-11ea-a9d9-a81c1a491c52_story.html
DiddyWrote
A good choice of article to link. It exemplifies everything you need to know about Trump.
DeleteNot only ignorant, but wilfully ignorant, or maybe incapable of understanding. Driven by petulance not reason and totally indifferent to the consequences.
This may have been posted before but is good for a laugh, even if only for the images where reality seems to be copying a David Rowe cartoon.
https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/donald-trump-wants-this-more-than-anything-1835215153
"One of the most inexplicably stubborn fallacies about Trump, both among his political opponents and the broader community that’s just interested in rubbernecking at his blowzy public feuds, is the idea that Trump does things for a reason. There is no evidence of this."
Sometimes the pond thinks it should feel pity, what with them being completely and comprehensively fucked, but then along comes another conspiracy theory, and the bubble blather about a formidable presence just reminds the pond of William Barr not being able to get straight the story about Bone Spurs hiding in the basement, and the chuckling begins at the dumb clucks who need a course in how to be a Woodchuck ...
DeleteHuey, Dewey, Louie and the Junior Woodchucks, DP ?
Delete"On a good day during a pandemic, Sky News reaches 2.4 million viewers in a country of some 25 million people …"
ReplyDeleteThat many, DP ? All at the same time ? Or is it just, say, 400,000 six times over ? I know that Sky News has a very much bigger audience that Sky After Dark, but as many as 1 in 10 Australians, even in a pandemic ? Or about 1 in 8 if we don't count the 18 and unders. And how many, do we reckon, the ABC reached, say, during a major bushfire calamity ? Personally, I do watch a bit of ABC: I like to catch the daily 'financials' summary given on the evening news at about 7:20pm.
But now, on to the Ned: "Finance Minister Mathias Cormann lacked empathy but articulated a moral position when he called the protesters "irresponsible" and "incredibly selfish"."
No, Ned, let me explain: "moral" means "concerned with the principles of right and wrong behaviour". What Cormann articulated was a "moralistic" position: "overfond of making moral judgements about others' behaviour; too ready to moralize".
Can you see the difference yet, old man ?
And now a few words from our owner's prize lackeys: "Underestimating America is the most dangerous mistake foreign leaders can make."
Now didn't I just say something the other day about 'how nations fail' is basically down to the bulk human imperviousness to reality ? And along comes WSJ's WRM to demonstrate it. I wonder what these goons think mighty Donald can actually do: start WWIII perhaps ? How exactly does anybody think that Donald could get the Chinese out of the South China Sea even if he wants to. Or get Russia out of the Ukraine ? Or basically do anything ?
But never mind: "Let us hope Xi and Putin keep this in mind as they reflect on the latest US news."
What, on the MAGA news they "read" on Fox ? About how mighty the Donald is ? Sure, Walter, sure.
While it might well be fake news and idle boasting, and spin, GB, I allowed the reptiles their calculations as presented in https://www.mediaweek.com.au/sky-news-records-record-ratings-for-covid-19-crisis-coverage/, because even at top reptile dollar, it's a pitiful, pathetic figure …a thing of paltry rags and tatters ...
DeleteYeah, I suppose we've gotta allow them their self-serving lies, DP, there isn't enough time in eternity to chase down all their conscious and unconscious bullshit.
DeleteBut looking in your link at the results for "individual programs" and the first entry says:
First Edition (Weekdays from 5am) with Laura Jayes and Peter Stefanovic has seen a +37% average audience increase during this period [ie 5 weeks], reaching 559,000 cumulative viewers.
The word "cumulative" is only used that once, so what we know is what ? That First Edition only had a total of about 111,800 per week ? For mine, that number - also actually likely to be "cumulative" - sounds more likely.
Ye gods.
ReplyDeleteImagine waking in the morning and being instructed to write a ponderous article holding up the ethical standards of Sky over the ABC. I imagine Ned gave up screaming "I fucking will not!" many years ago.
Now he just does as he's asked. "If you don't Ned, we can swing Sharri Markson into your seat as quick as blinking buddy!"
The laughs come hard in post-COVID days. But come they do.
Just because it seemed interesting
ReplyDeletehttps://patrickwyman.substack.com/p/police-social-order-and-exemplary?r=bi90&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=twitter
It was interesting, and it seems he tweets as well as writes …
Deletehttps://twitter.com/Patrick_Wyman/
There was some interesting thoughts on the "bad apples" idea in comparing that approach in, for instance, airliner flying staff - pilots, engineers etc. In that case, 'bad apples' can't be tolerated at all, since even one single 'bad apple' can cause an airliner to crash killing hundreds.
DeleteBut in police forces - that cumulatively kill hundreds per year - well, 'bad apples' just happen, don't they. No reason to get excited about that. Police, in Victoria anyway, didn't initially carry weapons as a general thing though there was normally a revolver in police cars. IIRC the push for police to all carry revolvers as part of the uniform came around about the time of the Queen Street shooting (Dec 1987) when I believe it was said that if all the police had had weapons to hand, they could have shot the killer at an earlier stage and saved lives. The police did have Smith and Wesson revolvers from back in 1976 - now replaced (in 2012) by automatic pistols. A very small and slow process of militarisation compared with many American police forces.
Some interesting history provided by Wyman, though, and I'm sure that there's a lot more that could have been added throughout the history of the entire human species.
When you hear a snatch of the news, that someone has been shot without hearing the location, you just assume it's Victoria. In a recent case in Tasmania a knife wielding man was knocked over by a police car and survived.
DeleteI think it's to some degree "when your only tool is a hammer......". Fatal consequences of culture.
It is just a bit like that, Bef. I have occasionally idly wondered why the cops don't have some kind of sedation instead of tasers - we can apparently put an elephant into an unconscious state, but not humans.
Delete