Monday, July 20, 2015

In which the pond's reptile whispering finally pays off, with the feral Oz raptors herding Bronniesaurus to the edge of the cliff ...

Bronnie's days are numbered, and now it's a matter of counting them until the knife finally falls.

But how did the pond arrive at this conclusion?

From the unfortunate juxtaposition of that knife on the front page of the HUN, or the Hunsters boasting of having found a fresh angle?

Nope ...

Was it the Daily Terrorists putting Bronnie on the front page, albeit only as important as headless rugger bugger BBQ chooks and a shark? With more talk of blades ...


Was it the Terrorists joining in the general mayhem?

Nope. In the good old days the slippery Terrorists would have had Bronnie photoshopped as a snivelling Queen rat and stuck it on the front page day after day after  ... but it was left to the Fairfaxians to talk about Bronnie and the Warringah Rats, and offer a forced video ...

Was it the usual suspects at Fairfax making sinister proposals?

Nope, that story's just a re-heated, re-hashed and re-badged outing, and if you click on it, you get Bronwyn Bishop digs in, with forced video. She's been digging in for days, as has Abbott ...

Did the notion of numbered days come from heading off to the Twitter hashtag Auspol and discover the usual vivacious range of tweets, including Chris Murphy demanding that outraged citizens rush off to to sign a petition to remove Abbott's ideological mother?


Well surely, you might insist, it was the way the Auspollers were starting to suggest that the rot had spread to others?

Nope, though it's jolly good fun.

Did it arrive from some sense of fairness in the treatment of Speakers?

Nope, because the pond always thought that Peter Slipper was a prat ...

Okay, trumpets and drum roll please.

The reason is that the reptiles of Oz have been dragged, grudgingly, kicking and screaming, to put Bronnie and her Bronnieairfarcechoppergate story on the front page ...

Look ...

Oh you naughty possum, you blinked and missed it.

Look, down the bottom on the right hand side ...

Now the story itself is pathetic. Where was Hedley Thomas, garbage ferreting investigative journalist extraordinaire, when he was needed?

The piece itself is just a summary of the things that happened on the weekend in other forums, John Hewson, Costello et al ...

But for all that it's just a potted re-hash, it's beginning to look reptile solemn:

And grudgingly, reluctantly, painfully, the Oz editorialist took note, and issued a call for the hive queen to go:

Naturally the pond is now seriously alarmed.

Indulging in Bronnieairfarcechopper gate provided endless hours of amusement.

If we ask whither Bronnie, does that mean wither the pond?

Fortunately Auspol is a hashtag that keeps on giving, and what joy ArtofBrandis brings to any blog interested in the comedy of life ...

What a cute little cherub ...

As for Twitter itself, routinely the pond is told by alarmed citizens that 'bots and logarithms or whatever they're called, are going to replace us all, especially now that Skynet's been sentient for yonks ...

 (More xkcd here).

Relax. This is what the 'bots sent the pond:

Hey, dumb fuck twitter 'bots, better get those logarithms working proper-like ... unless your aim was to pinpoint the top three people the pond would never ever follow ...


  1. A religious man is on top of a roof of his farmhouse during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religious man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

    Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

    With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."

    And what is the relevance of this joke? Have a look at the photo taken in 1997. The message was given by Him up above, below or wherever and Bronnie did not take heed.

    1. He should have taken a tip from these guys -

  2. 'From where I sit Bronwyn Bishop is doing a very good job as speaker,' Senator Cormann told Sky News on Saturday.

    Except the goose sits in the senate.

  3. You & I may be irritated by the twitter ribbon, and by the nongs on ABC Breakfast reading the darned things, but, DP, Twitter is bringing in some rich titbits. Like, "When is Donald Trump going to stop embarrassing his friends, let alone the whole country?" from Roop, and a snip from the next New Yorker cover.
    Now, if Bronny is "on probation", is that enough to stay the tweet of Roop? My guess is that it's all over, and the uber-loyal Jane Halton will work the magic.

  4. I read that Abbott has taken the rights of office of PM. to new constitutional heights and put the Speaker on "probation"...(you naughty girl!)....and there I was thinking the Speaker was an independant authority and not subject to political direction...But hey!..that was another time , another "place".

  5. While it did indeed cost the taxpayer $92,000 to send John Hogg to the annual IPU shindig, it is dubious to say he was "performing the same duty". Hogg was, presumably, hobnobbing about parliamentary issues du jour, which is their function. La Belle Dame Sans Merci, by contrast, was less about parliaments and more about pursuing her candidacy for the three-year Presidency of the IPU, which I can only assume was an expensive joke given her claims compared to those of the eventual winner. Between the Bronwenator and Cory Bernardi, her fluffer-in-chief, I'm sure Australia presented a wonderful image of tolerance and inclusion...


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