Tuesday, July 14, 2015

In which the pond moves on from Greg Hunt as a sock puppet to the sublime insights of assorted gummy sharks, from big Mal to the Caterists ...

Once the news turns into a cosmic joke, there's no need to dwell on it anymore.

Instead all that's needed is to admire the quintessential beauty of Pope's portrait of the quisling Greg Hunt as a sock puppet ... though without the wit or wisdom of Triumph the insult comic dog, and as always, more Pope here.

As for King Canute himself, it seems nobody much likes him anymore.

As usual, when it comes to Q and A, the pond has to rely on others, such as Abbott gets 'Hewsoned' on Q and A. (with forced video).

The trouble with 'getting Hewsoned' is that it's a bit like getting chewed by a gummy shark, and the hapless gummy was again out and about this morning on RN, repeating the jaw boning.

But the pond did have the dubious pleasure of watching the quisling Turnbull do his usual self-pleasuring routine in public, somehow thinking an appearance on 7.30 made up for his gutless wonder falling into quisling line on the matter of not appearing on Q and A.

All it showed was the infinite capacity of some for self-delusion and self-regard.

No matter how much he tried to use weasel words, the turgid toff, the preening ponce still scored the headline he both desired and feared: Turnbull refuses to back PM on Q and A (with forced video).

The result was some wonderfully comical headlines:

But the Graudian had the best of them, capturing the essence of the blame that's never been properly sheeted home to the war-mongers - and let us not forget Abbott was a war-monger cabinet minister. 

But it was the big Mal line below the gummy photo that captured the best of the foolish fop:

The ban was aimed at ministers and not the ABC? 

You'd have to be a truly pathetic quisling of the first water to peddle that sort of clap trap.

Of course you won't find any of this at resentful reptile headquarters. Instead the reptiles are still doing a King Canute, and brooding:

The question arises as to whether Jessica Rapana or the sub has the first clue as to the meaning of the Middle English derived 'child's play', and the implications of what that says about the PM, and the baiting thereof.

Yes, it means that baiting the gormless, useless, King Canute is something very easy to do, something easily done, and so a play on the words involving a child still results in a basic truth - baiting Abbott is so easy, like fool's mate, that no one should really take it on, or mention renewable energy, as opposed to say Chaucer's injunction that "It is no child's play for a modern, sensible woman to take a husband". (oops, perhaps the pond got that muddled).

But enough of the chit-chat, because today is Caterist day, and all students of the reptiles have the onerous chore of deciphering the runes and ferreting through the entrails.

Now the Caterist has always struck the pond as the thickest of the commentariat doing the rounds - short a sandwich for the picnic by a country mile, and that's a long way as Tamworthians measure a mile (well, you wouldn't start from there, would you?)

But never mind, because the Oz revealed a wondrous sense of irony in the juxtaposing splash:

Wonderful stuff.

Of course it might be proposed that the cold-hearted, welfare-hating, black-bashing Gary Johns isn't a Liberal, and indeed, he's somehow managed the herculean feat of being further to the right of Tony Abbott than Genghis Khan, yet still the face of the humanity-less Johns up against the gormless bien peasant one is piquant, and compelled the pond to read on ... only to discover how the essential dullness of the man can shine through while tackling any subject:

And that's how Liberals show their humanity.

Yep, the enormous follies of Campbell Newman are forgiven and forgotten, swept under the carpet and not mentioned, and it also turns out that showing the human side of Liberalism is to denounce Queenslanders as dummies, dickheads, losers and dunces, a bunch of mug punters so dumb they think an electorate is slang for expectorate.

Who could argue with that?

And then the pond finally worked out why the Caterist writes it all. 

It's his bounden duty to mention the immortal Ming the merciless at least once a column, so that the treasured memories of pig iron Bob can continue to live on:

What painful, tragic stuff.

And how shallow. At the end all that the Caterist is prepared to discuss is a form of words - ceding the language of social justice.

Not actual policies. Just the language.

Do the pitch, close the deal - always be closing - and then screw the punters and all will be well.

As if King Canute and the current crop of Liberal fundamentalists is going to pay attention to this toothless, tragic gummy shark ... why bother with niceties or language when all you have to is shout "it's coal, coal, coal for Australia" ...

Which is why all that's left is First Dog and laughter, as the dawgie catches up with groceries, first celebrated by Katharine Murphy in a very funny piece, published seven days ago, For Tony Abbott, financial stability starts in the fruit and veg aisle, and the pond began to think once again of Chauncry Gardner (and more First Dog here).


  1. Everyone should read this. Dicken's words thunder across 150 years. Just apply what he says to the inmates of detention centres.

    "What Is Sensational?
    By Charles Dickens

    The Right Honourable Mr Gathorne Hardy, the President of the Poor Law Board, has a grievance. The newspapers have, he says, written “sensationally” upon workhouse mismanagement, and an interest “wholly disproportionate to the circumstances” has been roused in the public mind. Further, lest any public writer should misunderstand his meaning, he is kind enough to particularise the cases to which sensation writing has been applied.

    These were the condition of the Strand Union workhouse, and the deaths of the paupers Daly and Gibson. It is a noble and instructive sight to look down upon from our snug perch in the House of Commons while this genial remark is made. Opposition and government benches both full; legislators smugly quiet, attentive, and approving; while our orator, who is tediously fluent, well dressed, and self-complacent, pours forth his shameless aspersions against those who have borne disinterested testimony to the truth."


  2. Another person in meinem Haus drags in the Oz every morning which I remove from the breakfast table with a pair of tongs. I must confess though that I sometimes do the crossword. The easy one. Why? Because it is predictable and simple. Like the opinion pages. All about the Liberal party. Who cares?

    This country has become as boring as the Liberal party. And as aggressive. The roads are dodgem tracks. Some of the drivers look as if they could have been drawn by Rowe.

    Some of our politicians and sports stars seem engorged with aggression.

    What has happened to the laconic, modest Aussie?

    This place has become so dull. There is no elegance, no fun, no whimsy, no frivolity. The language is blunt and brutal.

    We have locked up babies in hellholes. We plan to dig up prime farmland for coal.

    We seem to be having a Cultural Rev without the blut. Non-approved 'free speech' is verboten. Science is scorned. Anti-intellectualism is exalted.

    Miss pp, despairing.

    1. The pond understands your despair Miss pp, to have an actual hard copy of the Oz in the house would make anyone physically ill (when a hard copy lands in the pond's house free from the airport, it can set off a frightening nausea).

      But we should be like those Gazans who find comedy in the despair, and enjoy the life and even if the pond can't celebrate the laconic - being infested by reptiles - we can laugh as we ride the bomb all the way to the ground ...

    2. Oh, Miss Pitty Pat, if one such as you is despairing, what hope is there for the rest of us? Take heart, and remember that there are still wee little pockets of whimsy and frivolity, and also compassion, to be found. Elegance I can't report on, as I have no personal knowledge or expertise in that area.
      Yours in solidarity :)

    3. Thankyou Mish, you are a person of elegance. You have grace and style unlike our 'leaders' who are clods. With notable exceptions.

      Miss pp

    4. I thought of you immediately, Miss PP, when I read today's First Dog cartoon. He is lamenting (among other things) the death of whimsy:

  3. AFP using hacking software to spy on citizens and journos.

    "Hack into your target with the most advanced infection vectors available. Enter his wireless network and tackle tactical operations with ad-hoc equipment designed to operate while on the move....Remote Control System: the hacking suite for governmental interception. Right at your fingertips."


  4. Fox news. Pope Francis 'the most dangerous person on the planet.'


    1. The Western world is now hooked on attention seeking.

      Gutfeld, a lapsed Catholic and former altar boy, acc to Wiki, is a conservative political satirist.

      These days one achieves notice by shouting outrageous things and/or looking peculiar.

      Best not to make eye contact.

      Poor old Pope. He is not a Christian said a Republican politician recently and now he is THE most dangerous man on earth. That cuts out a few I could nominate.

      It does not pay to be humble in this day and age. It is subversive.

      Miss pp

  5. I've not yet had time to digest all of your latest post, as other duties call. But I am simply in awe of that lead quote from Cater that the coalition's aim should be not just the economy. That has been their aim??? Unless they're the most incompetent federal government in our history (very likely) surely that cannot be so. Or perhaps I've misread it, and the aim is to bugger up the economy, which they've done with astonishing success.

    I really wish I could see more of the funny side of Cater. But I continue to get annoyed by him. Maybe it's that smug smile in his pic, along with his sham superiority. I am reminded of a remark by my friend at an economics tutorial over another who was laughingly smug over our struggles to grasp the maths. Said my friend,
    "He has the sort of face on which I'd dearly like to tread."

    Strange to remember that after 50+ years, but that's Cater for you.

    1. ".. But I am simply in awe of that lead quote from Cater that the coalition's aim should be not just the economy. That has been their aim???"

      GD, thanks for the laughter there.

      Still I'm smiling :)

    2. Likewise, and the treading on the face just added to the fun GD

  6. It seems taxpayer funded Cater came to Queensland with Abbott last weekend for Abbott's LNP State Convention speech on Saturday. Lots of talk by Alices in la-la-land there. The many Queensland limited news clones all gleefully reported Abbott's initial remarks ordering the LNP candidate for Fairfax to "ensure a certain dinosaur does become extinct" - ha ha, murdochians.

    Another remark of Abbortts widely reported elsewhere was "The longer the Palaszczuk government lasts, the better the Campbell Newman government will look." Another ha ha moment in la-la-land that, as was his lauding of fellow guest speaker "friend" Newman time and again, and the total silence about the campaign timing and honouring of Sir Duke... Pure comedy.

    As for Cater's 'Right ceding the language of social justice', ha ha, well, he would have caught plenty of the right language surrounding Newman's official bio and manifesto as penned by defeated Cairns MP Gavin King. Like Cater with Menzies and languauge and mention of that word - "reform" - the local reptiles take issue in similar vein with "recasting", and in Murdoch Queens-la-la-land why not? Roll on The Story of Campbell Newman and the Future of Reform in Australia.

  7. Or, how 'we must live within our means' becomes 'we must mean within our lives', in the thick-as-thieves, spin-dizzy bizzyworld.


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