Thursday, May 22, 2014

The wittering twits that titter about winkers and twitterers ...

It's a disgrace, it's a sewer, it's shocking, it's shameful.

What, no Twitter?

So how to write a blog? 

Well the pond could just do this:

(Above: and far too many more here, because every time you drop into a sewer you'll find rats squeaking)

It must be hard churning out all those words, all that dross, all that verbiage, what with being the world's leading climate scientist n'all.

Nah, forget it. 

Turns out the pond was right. It's easy peasy:

(Above: no links from the Bolter, therefore no links to the Bolter)

Yes, it's really that easy.

Recycle a twittering Murdoch hacks tweets, kicking the down and out, the wounded, the maimed and the disabled...

Can't you just feel the withering contempt in that line, about the ACTU turning into ACOSS? You see, giving a toss about the poor and the disabled is trashing the labour movement's legacy. Because in the land of fuck, it's fuck or be fucked ...

Because the maimed and the vulnerable are the new sport for the biffo boys of Murdoch la la land.

Would you like to learn more?

Uh huh. 

Spicer's real crime was of course to draw attention to the winker.

But what joy, because you see, in convicting her of a thought crime, as a bonus, you get to peddle the picture all over again!

Would you like to witter a little more about the twittering twits? Witter away:

(Above: no links from the Bolter, therefore no links to the Bolter)

So that's how it's done. All because Spicer dared to point out the dangers of a deviant wink.

It used to be called distraction, the art of Penn and Teller.

You see two wrongs can right a wink ...

Naturally the pond can only imitate a master winker:
(Found here)

And here - before you get agitated by the winker - is one for the monarchists:

(Found here)

Yes, it's that easy. Let the witterers carry on about the winkers ...

And meanwhile a Prime Minister who's unapologetic about getting wrong the policy details of policies that will blight the lives of thousands sails on merrily ...

And so to what surely is the very best comedy of the day. It's the magic water man sucking up to the man who was caught loitering in a London toilet:

“The arsonists, if you are to believe the polls, are still in control. What to make of all this? Paul Sheehan is on the line.” 
Sheehan: “Alan, we now have a leader willing to sacrifice his career for the good of the economy. We have an opposition leader willing to sacrifice the economy for the good of his career …” Jones: “I think we can end the interview now … You can’t do any better than that. That is exactly where we are …” Sheehan: “Bill Shorten spoke for 33 minutes in Parliament and I listened very carefully for how he was going to pay for his compassion … And I did not hear a single syllable, not a sentence, not a nanosecond of air saying: ‘These are the sacrifices we will make, these are the hard decisions, these are the choices, these are the taxes, these are the cuts and these are the efficiencies ...'” 
Jones: “According to the International Monetary Fund, and I will say this slowly, in the six years to 2018, Australia is forecast … to have the third-largest increase in net debt, as a proportion of GDP, among 17 rich nations, and the highest spending growth. Something’s got to give.” 
Sheehan: “This budget process has only just begun. The budget is going to be absolutely whacked by the small parties … The new mantra of Australian politics is show me the money, how are you going to pay?” 
Jones: “When you look at polls, let’s be blunt about it, we want the mob back who presided over the border protection debacle, who presided over the building of the education revolution extravaganza. We want the mob back who presided over the home insulation program ...” 
Sheehan: “Well, we’ve reached the point in society where the demographic change and the ageing of the population and – here’s the rub – the expectations of the public … [means] there is a tremendous amount of generosity with other people’s money.” 
You may think that I, quoting myself, agreeing with Alan Jones, in defence of Tony Abbott, is a self-indulgent provocation to a certain kind of reader. Of course it is. But it’s time for the outrage to grow into a discussion about how we are going to pay for this compassion and fairness.

Actually it's just a self-indulgent provocation, full stop. But it's also great comedy. Lenny Bruce couldn't do a better satire.

Perhaps it's about time we outgrew the outrage to ask just how we're going to pay for this grotesque unfairness and complete lack of compassion.

But we won't. Because you can always assuage your guilt with hearty doses of magic water and splendid gulps of top notch thirteen dollar a loaf sourdough bread  and  plenty of great junkets O/S.

Does anyone at Fairfax wonder why The Graudian is now a viable competitor?

Now how to get out of the wink affair in the blink of an eye:

It was a mistake?

How can that be?

Oh what to do, quick, what to do?

Why blame the ABC host. He's a distraction, he can turn a hard-nosed politician on a winking, blinking dime.

Why didn't the commentariat think of that in the first place? The bloody ABC, doing it yet again ...

Distracted! What a pathetic winker ...


  1. We need to have a commission, NOW investigating which other ABC hosts, on my taxes, are encouraging, and generally causing winking in innocent, logical people. And I mean NOW.

  2. Maybe I'm getting over my head here, knowing nothing about photoshopping, but I'm curious about the three pictures offered as evidence. The Bolter should have a good knowledge of them, assuming he has access to sister paper the Daily Telegraph, the latest sample of which was today.

    If the three pictures reveal photoshopping, the culprit certainly went to a lot of trouble. Picture two shows the staffer behind Scott in a slightly different position, plus another staffer suddenly becoming visible behind Abbott's shoulder.

    In picture three, not only have the staffers disappeared but the setting has been transformed from outdoor to indoor. Plus, as you mention, there's a different microphone in view. I'm settling for the alternative explanation that the Bolter is a paranoid wanker.

    The same may well apply to Troy Bramston. I'm not sure if it's him or the Bolter (maybe both), but it would seem that both have a very tenuous grasp of Labour and trade union history. Maybe we shouldn't expect too much from Troy as a Rudd wonderboy. The Howard government stood back and let James Hardie go offshore in a bottom-of-the-harbor-style limiting of their responsibilities for asbestosis. Only the ACTU took James Hardie and the government on on behalf of the victims, who were otherwise regarded as cannon fodder workers. The ACTU got some help from other unions and (shudder) the NSW Labor Party. Nobody else gave a rat's about those victims (least of all Abbott, in his legendary swipe at Bernie Banton).

    Ditto for the overthrow of Workchoices. It was the groundwork of the union movement and the ACTU campaigning that got that Howard government defeated and Workchoices dumped. Kevin played a role in that, Troy, but only a role, not the whole.

    The union movement is weakening through self-employment and the decline of manufacturing but nobody with any brains could reasonably claim they were irrelevant today.

    1. Spot on Gorgeous Dunny. The photoshop would be easy enough to do, but the Bolter doesn't have a clue as to what pictures were used. Even if he'd been right, he'd still be a paranoid wanker.

      As for the rest, the notion that no one should care about the health of workers, or others, is one of the most astonishing bits of nonsense that the pond has come across in years, and it does great shame to Bramston, not that he'd seem to know it. But hey, we're in the new age of the narcissist, and the Bolter, with his fits of pique, is right up there with the Ruddster ...


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