Sunday, June 02, 2013

The always obliging and helpful pond tries to help the inner urban elitists at the Daily Terror ...

Now the pond is deeply sympathetic to the inner urban elites (Surry Hills, don't ya know) who run the Daily and Sunday Terror, and who must gouge the punters to make a crust so Chairman Rupert can keep filling his Twitter account with bizarre thoughts.

Oh dear sweet long absent lord, he's coming to the lucky country (?) which is lucky (?) to have its print media controlled by him, and it's not just to finish off the Gillard government (the reptile hacks at the lizard Oz are doing their very best), but to do some other hard work. Like how to make the rags he owns turn a dime.

Quick, dust off the aspidistra ...

Now the pond is always obliging and helpful when it comes to inner urban elites getting themselves into a frightful pickle.

You see, it gets even harder when the job at hand is asking people to hand over their shekels to read a rant by Miranda the Devine, even when the target is Eddie Maguire.

Still a job's a job, and duty is duty, and so if you head off to the rag's feature story, Eddie McGuire's career is just one long gaffe, you'll get the usual sob stuff about how all you need to do is register and how cheap it all is, and how you'll just love the exciting new world of News ± √∅∏∑.

But the pond has already spoken sharply to the editor of the Terror about this, and warned of the dangers of the staff using the jewels in the crown to fill up their blogs, and sure enough this is what happens when you head off to the Devine's blog here:

It's what looks like the whole bloody story laid bare, and with no sign of a paywall or an invitation to join News ± √∅∏∑, as you can see by clicking on the offending piece to enlarge, or perhaps by just plucking out the eye that offends you.

Because what's worse, once you read it, you realise it's just the Devine on another hate rant, which isn't worth a red cent or a brass razoo. She even calls the hapless Maguire King Kong. 

What's she got against King Kong?

Sure she can rant all she likes, but why should anyone pay for it?

Now this simply has to stop. We simply can't allow the Devine the privileges of a free-range blog lifestyle, she must be put behind the netting like the other chooks.

Stop the blogging, end it now, or else chairman Rupert will have to roll up his sleeves and take a view!

Now we now that the Devine is ready to act the clown, or don clothes as part of her routine. Here's the comedy act she put on while visiting the Lakemba mosque:

But for the love of the long absent lord, it has to be locked away, out of sight behind the paywall.

Make the punters pay for the pleasure, or it will be the end of  News ± √∅∏∑ ....

Yes, the cartoon below is now a much loved internet meme and cliche, but in terms of chairman Rupe's rags, it also happens to be deeply true ...

Pointless incessant barking behind a paywall! 

That's the point, the entire point, and no other point can be allowed! End the blogs, end them now! Kill them off the way The Punch was killed or the freeloaders and the cheapkates will keep on making hay ...

Best of all you don't have to pay the always obliging and helpful pond for this advice. It's free! With one stroke, you can end all the worry about the cost of moderation, and the barking dogs roaming wild outside the chook pen ...

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