"O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!", said the ecstatic toot-tooting Mr Toad, to which the pond might add, "oh frabjous joy", because the reptiles have discovered a "secret" black hole.
‘Money monster’: Labor’s secret $170bn budget black hole
The mystery missing billions in Labor’s federal budget have sparked serious concern about spending blowouts fuelling inflation ahead of Tuesday’s Reserve Bank rate decision.
By Matthew Cranston
And the canny Cranston inspired the lizard Oz editorialist to go right off the rails - dammit, somehow they managed to link it to the Melbourne Cup!
What astonishing skill, what relevance! How these "secret" black holes keep on giving...
Meanwhile, the Australian Daily Zionist News was at it again ...
Teachers are already refusing to teach Muslim students about the Holocaust, so a new curriculum mandate is unlikely to repair Australia’s crumbling civic foundations.
By Alex McDermott
The pond won't go there - it's in the archive - but will mention Jeff Sparrow's outing in Crikey, which luckily can be found outside the paywall ...
The new report by Anthony Albanese’s special envoy to combat antisemitism is as conspiratorial as it is a genuine threat to anyone expressing criticism of the state of Israel.
To that end, Segal wants, among other things, a special ombudsman to monitor the ABC and SBS; new codes of conduct for cultural organisations; restrictions on the use of grants for arts, sports or research; the operationalisation in higher education of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA)’s definition of antisemitism; a review of the school curriculum; and “continual review and reform by … governments of gaps in the legislative framework”.
All this is warranted, she says, because “the language of human rights and its greatest crimes — apartheid, ethnic cleansing, genocide, etc. — has increasingly been appropriated” against Israel. On that basis, Segal seeks the institutional adoption of the IHRA definition of antisemitism, explaining that “criticism of the Israeli government” should only be considered legitimate if “the level and standard of scrutiny applied is equivalent to the standards to which one would hold other governments in similar circumstances”.
There is a roll call of experts accusing Tel Aviv of genocide: a partial list includes Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, B’Tselem, the Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention, Genocide Watch, the European Centre for Constitutional and Human Rights, the Middle East Studies Association, Oxfam, Médecins Sans Frontières, Physicians for Human Rights Israel and the International Association of Genocide Scholars.
In the name of Segal’s vaunted equivalency, we might expect to find Israel listed alongside the other regimes Australia currently sanctions for human rights violations (beyond individual ones directed at Ben-Gvir and Smotrich). You’ll be shocked to learn that this is not what Segal seeks. The scrutiny she considers appropriate was demonstrated back in 2023, when Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong had the temerity to suggest Israel might “cease the attacking of hospitals”.
In response, Segal, then president of the Executive Council of Australian Jewry, cosigned a statement condemning Wong’s remarks that said they “only serve to demonise the state of Israel and its supporters”. The same logic dominates her report. Segal argues that claims Israel has committed genocide, ethnic cleansing and apartheid “allow for the depiction of anyone who associates or aligns with Israel as complicit in its purported evil”. But when confronted by genocide, most of us do not worry that our condemnations might upset those who “associate or align” with the perpetrators.
In Segal’s report — a document in which the word “Gaza” appears only once — the feelings of Israel’s supporters take precedence over all else. For her, “the Palestinian cause” represents a “gateway issue, of sorts … used by far-left activists to magnify their appeal and prominence and to attempt to introduce traditionally moderate Australians to radical and anti-Jewish propaganda”.
It’s crazy, conspiratorial stuff.
The report warns that “references to “Zionists” can function as a proxy for Jews, particularly where Jews in Australia are treated as collectively responsible for the actions of Israel (acts of conflation)”. That’s certainly true, which is why organisations like the Jewish Council of Australia (JCA) make the distinction between Judaism (a religion and ethnic identity) and Zionism, urging the recognition of “the political and religious diversity of the Australian Jewish community”...
And so on, and the pond guarantees you won't be reading any of that sort of stuff in the lizard Oz until at least the twelfth of never (and that's a very ...)
What you will be reading is the pond's very favourite reptile, the bromancer, skipping right past the current electoral action...
Luckily the bromancer wasn't in to Tucker and his theory about the mad King wanting to nuke the mad Mullahs ...
Unearthed Clips Show Carlson Repeatedly Claim Trump is Weighing Iran Nuke Strike
... but the pond did enjoy the way he managed to articulate three war aims, as if the aims of the mad King and minions were remotely coherent and comprehensible, as opposed to being roughly equivalent to Melbourne's weather, ever changing ...
The bro's insights were bolstered by a beaming blonde of the kind beloved by Faux Noise...
How the bromancer loves the drumbeat of war, how he loves to pound the skins, but then he wasn't appointed Reichsmarschall des GroßAustralisch Reiches so he could practise his knitting skills.
Has it though? The pond supposes it's a matter as to whether it's AIS-visible tanker tonnage, or black ships running dark ...(who knew there were sites dedicated to tracking the traffic?).
In conclusion, how about a shot of crazed jihadists, designed to terrify the lizard Oz hive mind, and send them on their own jihad? Sure thing...
Curiously, Luckovich had another figure in a similar pose ...
Meanwhile, it was left to the echo Chambers to propose a solution to what might ail the country.
While the pallid, wan bromancer ran up the white flag of despair, the echo Chambers knew what had to be done...
Anthony Albanese faces pressure to use upcoming Trump summits to end wars the government blames for devastating Australia’s economy.
By Geoff Chambers
Political editor
Get in his ear! How easy is that, what a quick fix ...
Yes, forget all that blather fest with King Chuck and the remnants of empire, and as for taking climate change seriously, in what alternative universe are we living?
What needs to happen is that Albo needs to sort out mad King Donald, and maybe get on board with him, and as for what might happen in the mid-terms and what that might produce in the United States? Fergeddit...
With the US ambassador to Australia David Brat and the Australian ambassador to the US Greg Moriarty both in place, the relationship between the White House and Albanese government should be strengthened.
As Australians tighten their belts, Albanese must prove the summit season is value for money and secure outcomes that are critical to the nation’s economy and security.
And that serves as an introduction to the real Tuesday treat, a rampant Dame Groan, revived by the prospect of disaster, and the hope that we'll all be rooned, if not by the end of the week, then certainly by Xmas ...
Please begin with one of those astonishing reptile collages for which there's no credit ...
The pond was shattered to discover that the Groaner hadn't discovered the black hole featured by the canny Cranston and the lizard Oz editorialist, but perhaps that was because it was too "secret".
On the other hand, the Dame didn't need cheap tricks like that to arrive at totally rooned gloom ...
Eyes wide shut now ...
Potent points, and Dame Groan wasn't done yet ... it was time for the cardigan wearers to cop a pounding, together with Jimbo ...
Not Petey boy again. Will the reptiles ever tire of their desire to return to the ancient days of Petey boy and the lying rodent?
And then all too soon the pond had arrived at the final gobbet of despair, what with all this talk of EVs and batteries and renewables, when the world is in tip top shape, and if there was just more coal and more emissions, what a fine prospect for the younglings ...
The pond has laid out the Dame Groan banquet, and expects correspondents to enjoy the feast ... with the important message from the Dame that there's no need to worry about all those other horses in the race aiming to make life miserable ...
And with the immortal Rowe setting the tone, so to a final thought from the reptiles, actually talking about the current election campaign, and hoping against hope that maybe the GOP might yet survive ... at least in the Senate, what with it all being really hard to turn the Titanic around ...
And with that a couple of 'toons ...
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