This day saw the reptiles steadfastly avoid the carnage occurring on the streets of the disunited states, perhaps out of guilt at the contribution their corporation had made to the killing fields.
So the pond had to revert to a local 'toon to go there ...
Instead of walking where Wilcox walked, in a prize act of deflection, distraction and enormous stupidity, the reptiles decided to bung on a do.
And who invited a clap happy evangelist to this party?
Why the reptiles of course ...
It was off to the intermittent archive cornfield and don't stop at go and hold out paw for cash ...
Morrison’s taboo-breaking proposal: ‘Licence to preach and teach Islam’
Scott Morrison calls on Muslim leaders to embrace wholescale reform to stop ‘political Islam’
Scott Morrison has called for sweeping reforms to how Islam is practised in Australia, as he tells a major antisemitism conference that Middle Eastern countries were doing a better job than the West in curtailing radical Islam.
By Dennis Shanahan and Richard Ferguson
Ex-PM offers a solution to Islam’s extremism problem
Scott Morrison is offering up a radical solution to Australian Islam’s extremism problem
Scott Morrison has acted, not for the first time, where members of the Albanese government have failed to do so after October 7 and before the December 14 Bondi massacre.
And even more appalling, the reptiles gave space to the barking mad clap happy liar from the Shire himself ...
After the Bondi terror attack, Australia must confront surging antisemitism, extremist radicalisation and social fragility, heeding Rabbi Jonathan Sacks’ warning that hatred of Jews signals.
By Scott Morrison
By golly, the intermittent archive had a compleat collapse, a compleat breakdown, trying to save that link for the pond.
Perhaps it baulked at what that hatred of Islamics signals ...but it got there in the end.
Time for a counter proposal: the pond be put in charge of a licensing board which offers permit slips to barking mad fundamentalist evangelicals before they're allowed to say anything to reptiles.
And a license for reptiles before they're allowed to go on yet another jihad.
On second thoughts, it'd be simpler not to have any red tape, just shut the rag down.
Meanwhile, Fred Pawle, over on the extreme far right, was at it again ...
As attacks by sharks, dingoes and crocodiles rise, emotional environmentalism is displacing hard-headed wildlife management, putting animal protection ahead of human life and safety.
by Fred Pawle
Inevitably, this being a variant of the NT croc beat-up syndrome, there was a snap of a killer croc, but also an amazing new money-making riff - a need to become a premium member to access the lizard Oz's "premium video content", this time featuring a large pack of dingoes on K'gari.
Yet at the same time the reptiles were giving away a video about shark nets and killer sharks.
Apparently the reptiles think there are mug punters who haven't discovered that there's a world of free footage to hand outside the hive mind.
Fred was in the grip of wild-eyed paranoia ...
Call it a cull if you must. I call it saving human lives. It’s strange to have to say it, but a human’s life should always more valuable than any shark, dingo or crocodile.
Another note: why do killer dingbats always present themselves as "hard-headed", or as tough nut kooks, as if being intransigent, unyielding, unshakable, uncompromising, inflexible and obstinate were somehow defining virtues.
If you don't want to get nibbled by a shark driven crazy by rising sea temperatures, no thanks to climate change, then stay out of the water Fred... and sssh, don't mention the ICE ...
And with those brain farts out of the way, time to get on with the latest update on Susssan v. the lettuce ... and what's more, it's an EXCLUSIVE ...
it took three whole reptiles to tackle this matter EXCLUSIVELY:
The header: David Littleproud heads to parliament with no Nationals-only frontbench amid fears break-up is for good; Multiple Nationals MPs fear naming their own frontbench will entrench the Coalition’s break-up by prompting Sussan Ley to fill vacant positions in an all-Liberal shadow cabinet.
The three amigos: Lachlan Leeming, Greg Brown and Sarah Ison
Three more amigos, led by a man who has little to be proud of: Kevin Hogan, Bridget McKenzie and David Littleproud. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
It was a bigly bit of five minute coverage, with lavish snaps of the key amigos ...
Multiple Nationals MPs also fear that naming a party frontbench will entrench the Coalition’s break-up by prompting Sussan Ley to fill vacant positions in an all-Liberal shadow cabinet – which come with bonuses including a $60,000 pay bump, more staff and bigger offices – and which would have to be reshuffled again if the two parties get back together.
The Opposition Leader’s supporters are reaching out to Nationals MPs with an aim to build momentum for Mr Littleproud to come to the table on a reconciliation, amid concerns his plan to establish his own frontbench would delay any chance of the Coalition reassembling.
Ms Ley is resisting unveiling her own shadow cabinet reshuffle until there is clarity over what the Nationals will do; some senior Liberals and Nationals are arguing against either party finalising frontbench teams while they work behind the scenes to encourage a reunion.
While many Liberals oppose the Coalition reuniting while Mr Littleproud is leader, Ms Ley’s backers are pushing for a reconciliation as it would limit the perception of chaos and buy her time as leader.
Poor Susssan, the reptiles always pick the cruellest snaps for her, and she always seems to be gesticulating in a non-plussed, bewildered way, Sussan Ley. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
The lettuce was immensely cheered by this latest recounting of the ruckus, as the reptiles scratched away at festering sores ...
Sources said senior MPs holding discussions with the Nationals included deputy Liberal leader Ted O’Brien, moderate leader Anne Ruston, energy spokesman Dan Tehan and chief whip Aaron Violi.
Any discussions to strike a new Coalition agreement are unlikely to be held at a leader-to-leader level unless any agreement appears close.
A renewed push against Ms Ley’s leadership was sparked last week when Mr Littleproud announced the Nationals were divorcing the Liberals because three of the junior Coalition party’s MPs were kicked off the frontbench for crossing the floor in parliament.
Then came a snap of a most unusual pastie, Andrew Hastie. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
The pond has spoken to the lettuce, and that noble vegetable is actually rooting for the beefy boofhead from down Goulburn way.
The lettuce was inspired by Charlie Lewis in Crikey outlining the beefy boofhead's qualifications ... When searching for a Liberal leader, always go for the funniest option ... (sorry, that's a paywall)
Charlie didn't go into the beefy boofhead's glorious windmill hating, climate science denialist days, but did celebrate many other virtues ...
How could a man of creationist, young earth stock compete with this most excellent boofhead?
The reptiles got around to featuring the boofhead ...
Sky News has reported that Mr Hastie and Mr Taylor were likely to have a meeting in Melbourne on Thursday.
Watch out, here he is in all his glory, Angus Taylor. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
Oh most excellent and exceedingly qualified contender ...
No matter. The beefy boofhead, or the man of young earth creationist stock, it's all good healthy competition.
It doesn't matter who wins so much, as that they all do a Vitaï Lampada, and play up and play the game, and what awesome contenders we have out on the field ...
And then it was back to the inspiration for this comedy ...
He was one of many Nationals MPs to voice concern over the move.
“The Coalition needs to get back together and to do it sooner rather than later – the longer you leave it, the more difficult it is to get back together,” he told The Australian.
“Even if they spill and Sussan survives or there’s a new leader … it’s still going to be difficult patching up … let alone if we put in our own shadow frontbench.”
Come on down, Michael McCormack. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
Oh the lettuce was feeling exceptionally moist and well-positioned ...
Another Nationals MP agreed that naming a frontbench would make reunification a slim possibility for the rest of the term, given doing so would mean snatching back positions, staffing and money off Liberal MPs assigned the resources in Ms Ley’s reshuffle.
“Sussan can buy a bit of support she needs with the shadow cabinet appointments but a (Liberal) leader … is going to have to go to those people in three months (or) six months’ time and say ‘We’re getting back together with the Nationals, give all that back’,” one MP said.
“That’s very problematic, which is why this shouldn’t happen in the first place.”
Four other Nationals MPs confirmed there had been “no movement” towards naming a frontbench, with one saying such developments appeared “not likely to happen anytime soon” and another suggesting Ms Ley and Mr Littleproud seemed to be “waiting on the other” to announce their respective reshuffles.
As some Liberals continue tossing up whether to replace Ms Ley, a Nationals MP said the behaviour of the junior party had “unfortunately given Sussan longer” in the chair because of the fury among Liberals over Mr Littleproud’s actions.
Mr Littleproud said it was unlikely a meeting on Tuesday of the Nationals’ partyroom would result in their own frontbench being named, “unless something changes substantially”.
“We’ll sit down Tuesday and work through it as a room – we’ve got time,” he told The Australian. “Ultimately we’ll get to a junction where we have to make a decision.”
Encore please, remind us of the man who set it all in motion, the man with little to be proud of, David Littleproud. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
The reptiles dawdled a little more, but everyone was saying the trial separation was in earnest and there might even be a need for an AVO ...
The Nationals’ leaders in the Senate and the house, Bridget McKenzie and Kevin Hogan, are also set to write to their government counterparts for clarity over question time allocations.
Mr Littleproud said until he had answers to those issues, he was unlikely to name a frontbench, despite saying on Friday “meat” would this week be put on plans for the allocation of portfolios among Nationals MPs.
The party leader denied that he had faced pressure from colleagues to delay or to scrap naming a stand-alone frontbench.
Despite recognising that reunifying the Coalition may be challenging under Mr Littleproud, several Nationals MPs said there was little chance of the leader being replaced.
“He’s got his Praetorian Guard around him,” one said.
Another said while it made sense for Liberals to be opposed to the reunification of the Coalition while Mr Littleproud was leader, the fact was “there’s just no one else” with the support to replace him.
Liberal MPs have suggested Darren Chester could be a possible replacement, and while some Nationals MPs agreed that he had “expertise” and would be “highly qualified”, most said he would never be supported as a replacement to Mr Littleproud.
Nationals have expressed little preference, even privately, over who would be a good replacement for Ms Ley, with most simply expressing their view that “anyone else” would be an improvement based on her fractured relationship with Mr Littleproud.
One Nationals MP said their personal view was that Mr Hastie should bide his time for a leadership tilt, and allow Mr Taylor to take up the role.
Multiple Nationals MP who spoke to The Australian rejected the possibility of the Coalition coming back together in the near term, with one saying it would “look silly to the public” for the parties to reform so soon.
Splendid stuff ... and with much more competitive action to come...
What else?
Well there was a about commercial surrogacy, which held no interest for the pond, and there was the lizard Oz editorialist, still over on the extreme far right early in the morning.
You see, the reptiles were most unhappy about all that went down on Invasion Day, and were determined to keep on yammering on about it ...
Pond correspondents will be pleased to note that the reptiles are appalled at the notion that we should commiserate with those judged to be historically oppressed.
How they hate the black-armband view of history, though they rarely seem agitated when a footy team parades about in black armbands...
But the pond's favourite moment came near the very end.
You had to get past the bit about disavowing old hatreds, a tad ironic given the way the crusading reptiles had this very morning encouraged a clap happy barking mad fundamentalist jihad ...
Did you see it?
You had to look below that dismissive caption talking of an alleged "bomb scare", an important point because after all the real trouble was those pesky people carrying about Invasion Day ...
This is a message that is relevant for Australia as well.
Roll that one around on your tongues as the world watches the disunited states disintegrate under a totalitarian regime, albeit with a most excellent taste in military uniforms and a goodly sense of the Reich sort of haircut ...
Amidst all those brass buttons, and that black shirt, the pond must have missed the message ...
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