In which the pond features a competition between the contemptibly craven Craven and the contemptibly nattering "Ned" ...

 

The pond has noted before the way that the reptiles at the lizard Oz studiously avoid what used to be termed 'hard' news. 

You might read in the Graudian about the ongoing genocide, Israeli attack on Gaza City continues as Hamas says ceasefire efforts at risk  or amidst the sociopathic slaughter of children by Vlad the impaler you might read of reptile and PM favourite in Modi and Putin cement 'bonds of friendship' despite Ukraine tensions. (You know, Russia bombs children's hospital as missiles kill dozens across Ukraine).

Or you might head off to Al Jazeera to read ongoing tales of the UN experts blast Israeli 'starvation campaign' kind.

Balakrishnan Rajagopal, UN Special Rapporteur on the right to adequate housing, has said that there is “famine across the whole of Gaza. All houses destroyed, food systems destroyed and healthcare destroyed. And kids are dying. Is there any humanity left?”
He made his comments in a post on X in response to a statement by a group of independent experts, himself included, who said that the recent deaths of more Palestinian children due to hunger and malnutrition leaves no doubt that famine has spread across the entire Gaza Strip.

You might also find talk of the West Bank ...

An Israeli army general says that a “strong and functioning” Palestinian Authority was in Israel’s security interest, the New York Times reported.

The comments were made by Yehuda Fuks, the outgoing chief of Israel’s Central Command, which is responsible for the military forces in the occupied West Bank, at a departure ceremony, the Times said.

He also rebuked moves by Israel’s far-right government to seize more Palestinian land in the occupied West Bank amid a rise in settler violence. Attacks against Palestinians and their property by illegal Jewish settlers have increased in scale and intensity since October 7. (here at greater length)

If you contemplate the headlines this day, you might see via Killer Creighton that dark Brandon is in a spot of bother, but as for the rest, forget it ...

Meanwhile, the Graudian is doing some excellent work exploring the deporable Exclusive Brethren - the latest in the series being Wealthy Exclusive Brethren schools net almost $30m in disadvantage payments.

If you wanted lighter commentary, tales of Moggies, you could head off to the cracking Crace for PopCons reassemble and Jacob Rees-Mogg is the sanest person in the room.

All this is by way of explanation for the way that the best that the reptiles of the lizard Oz can offer, and so the pond, is a contest as to who is the most contemptible reptile of the day - the craven Craven or nattering "Ned".

It's a close race, but the contemptible Craven makes for a strong start ... with the sport here for these feral greyhounds being who can most demonise a Muslim woman making a point about a genocide ...

It takes some fair cheek for a fundamentalist tyke, coming from a Catholic church full of bigotry, misogyny and homophobia (not to mention all the stuff done to children in the spirit of Alice Munro's partner) to announce The truth is there is no precedent for the Payman phenomenon. She represents a new fracturing along ethno-religious lines. She is a harbinger of danger and conflict.

There's the little matter of the DLP and the rabid fundamentalism that marred the 1950s, and here the contemptible Craven excels ...

First a video clip featuring the dire demonic threat and then the snaps that litter the piece ...

It is, of course, an important part of the procedure, and the contest, to ignore the actual ongoing genocide, and the contemptible Craven does that in style ...

Then it's on to the high comedy ... defensive posturing about the DLP ...

All lies of course, but the craven Craven no doubt is secure in the knowledge that few remember the 1950s first hand, and so what the Catholic church, and the DLP, represented, including the right of women to experience back yard abortions, or have their baby snatched for Catholic adoption ... all the while offering yadda yadda about "permissiveness" and moral decay and such like ... though in later times, you could find high profile Catholic conservatives doing a reverse takeover of the Liberal Party, thanks to the likes of the onion muncher ...

The moral of the story is that people in glass houses shouldn't carry on about moral panics when their own mob produced an epic disruption of Australian politics, but the contemptible craven Craven doubles down ...

Where's misogyny and homophobia when you need it? Just call the contemptibly craven Craven and he'll supply it, and maybe a backyard abortion if that's what ails ya ...

Here, have a reminder of an alternative universe ...

While it was a strong demonising effort, with apologetics for ancient 1950s bigotries, nattering "Ned" still knows how to play an open misère hand and sound just as miserable ...

In any demonisation effort, you need to make sure people can spot the demon, and for "Ned" the reptiles managed to do this twice ... because nothing exceeds like demonic excess ...

There were a couple of other snaps, featuring that woman who escaped from a chaff bag and greenies, up there wth ways to terrify the aging male white demographic...

While the illustrations are contemptible, "Ned" really didn't need the help ...

As soon as you start throwing around words like "evil", you enter the ranks of the most rank, and return to the days of the axis of weevils rhetoric used to justify a wretched war.

Again it's notable how the actual genocide going down right now is expunged from "Ned's" piece, disappeared into the cornfields amid a bout of fear-mongering and Islamophobia ...

He's kidding, right? Here he is, sounding much like Enoch Powell or Nigel Farage, and he's suggesting we shouldn't bring conflicts from originating nations?

This helps make him a worthy contender with the craven Craven for the most contemptible reptile columnist ...

"That is improbable", and yet the entire rhetorical thrust is based on an alleged imminent danger. And then, in classic "Ned" style, having served up a bout of Islamophobic anxiety, comes a clucking and a tutting and alarums about the right wing, as if the lizard Oz was somehow centrist. 

The depth of the delusions is breath taking ... you see, he's only carrying on like a pork chop about the Islamics because he's worried that they might be victimised...done in exceptional "when did you Islamics stop beating your wives?" style ...

In the end, the pond couldn't separate the pair, each contemptible in their own way, each excelling at the task of being contemptible ... it's a fudge to say it's a draw, yet fudging is part of the experience.

Here, have news from an alternative universe ...

And so to a bonus, and the pond only includes Dame Slap because this day she's not blathering on about the Lehrmann matter. 

Instead she's found a new target for her bile ... Malware ...

The temptation for some might be to defend Malware, but the pond can't go there, not with the spate of recent NBN drop outs...

On the other hand, becoming an object of Dame Slap's bile is almost a redeeming honour, complete with an array of snaps ...

Malware's thought crime is to be a rat in the ranks, and so subject to Dame Slap's bilious berating of his bile ...

All this is well and good - former Chairman Rudd savaged along with Malware - but then Dame Slap jumps the shark and nukes the fridge by dragging in the mango Mussolini, her very own orange Jesus ...

For anyone who's forgotten, here's the short form version ...

Suddenly this euphoria now becomes a vehicle for Dame Slap abuse, with Malware having similarities to the mango Mussolini, though the latter was once much loved by Dame Slap ...

And so to the last bit of bitterness and bile, remarkable mainly for the level of festering hatred ... a Dame Slap trademark, accusing Malware of exactly what she herself exhibits in spades ... 

Here's how to celebrate a prize bullshit artist ...

He's a criminal for deploying the word "thug" about a former Queensland plod, still an old school thug, and yet he's a rat who acts and sounds like a mango Mussolini? 

Of course Dame Slap has long had a fear and loathing for Malware - way back in July 2016 she was blaming him for the election result - and she's always been agitated by the wets.

Talk about a pantomime of political and personal hatred, what a pity no one will ever be able to help Dame Slap move on ...

Meanwhile, on another planet far removed from planet Janet above the faraway tree ...

Speaking of Xians and 'word use' news, the pond would like to give a special award to Jonathan Cole for the use of the word "woke" in his Crikey piece Peter Dutton’s nuclear push makes sense in the modern Liberal Party, To conservatives and libertarians alike, the 'moderates' of the Liberal Party appear to be unprincipled shills virtually indistinguishable from the modern Labor Party (paywall):

Conservatives, with their undisguised statism, are now part of the problem, not the solution, as far as libertarians are concerned. If one looks beneath the surface to Australia’s political fringes, one will notice the growing populism of anarcho-capitalism among young libertarians of the right, evidence of the radical transformation of the staid, stuffy and, ultimately, conservative liberalism of the Menzies-era.

This just leaves the so-called “moderate” liberals of the Liberal Party. To conservatives and libertarians alike, they appear to be unprincipled shills virtually indistinguishable from the modern Labor Party, with its woke social values and neoliberal economic predilections, albeit sold with caring and empathetic rhetoric (neoliberalism in the Australian context simply means a mixed economy comprised of some deregulation and a lot of state intervention). (Pond emphasis)

The reason for the award comes in the tag at the end:

Dr Jonathan Cole is a scholar, writer, translator and lecturer specialising in political theology. He is currently associate director of research at the Australian Centre for Christianity and Culture at Charles Sturt University, and host of The Political Animals podcast.

For those not familiar with that august theological body, see here to read

The theological framework for the ACC&C is that it will operate:

within the broad faith parameters of the NCCA:

“The National Council of Churches in Australia gathers together in pilgrimage those Churches and Christian communities which confess the Lord Jesus Christ as God and Saviour according to the Scriptures and commit themselves to deepen their relationship with each other in order to express more visibly the unity willed by Christ for his Church, and to work together towards the fulfilment of their mission of common witness, proclamation and service, to the glory of the one God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit".

And so on. Somebody needs to tell Pastor Adam scribbling Jesus Is Woke. And That’s Good News: "Since God is woke, and the prophets are woke, it should come as no surprise that Jesus is woke."

Goddamit, Rev, Jesus ain't woke, he's a genocidal homicidal sociopath smiting and smoting filthy atheists and wretched wet libs, and deeply content with his unwoke Barton warriors, though the pond does with they'd get rid of that woke slogan "Wisdom for the common good." Only the bloody woke care about the common good. 

And what's this false piety "The Australian Centre for Christianity and Culture acknowledges the Traditional Owners of country throughout Australia and recognises their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay our respects to them and their cultures; and to elders both past and present"? 

Dammit, proud, brave, unwoke Xian warriors stole the land, and were blessed in the eyes of the long absent lord for the stealing ...

Funnily enough the keen Keane started his piece Think identity politics is a problem for Labor? Wait ’til you see the Republicans, Identity politics isn't confined to the left. In fact it's everywhere, driven by the dominance of market economics this way (paywall):

If there’s one thing right-wing commentators are clear on about Fatima Payman, it’s that she represents a case of identity politics — with all the inevitable condemnation that goes with it, because “identity politics” is thrown about with about as much care as “woke”. Indeed, they may as well be synonyms for the right.

Better tell that to Jonathan, throwing "woke" around with as much care as a nattering "Ned" or a craven Craven.

In other 'word use' news, the President of the United States has denounced the "leets" for trying to do him down, it being well known that the President of the United States is just a struggling minnow against the 'leet millionaires (though he is accepting donations).

For those wondering why the pond didn't use this funny use of 'leets' as an excuse to take the Killer Creighton bait, the explanation's simple. The pond would rather be watching Jon Stewart ... on the basis that it's better to have a laugh while having a good cry...