In which there's a reptile winter of discontent, with nattering "Ned", snappy Tom and agitated Eric taking a big stick to assorted policies ...

 

The pond had hoped and expected that Dame Slap would be out and about early this morning explaining her ongoing devotion to her orange Jesus and shrieking to the high heavens about the injustice suffered by tricky Dick. After all ...

How to make things right for the persecuted tricky Dick. If only he'd had the current SCOTUS in his employ ...

Instead of contemplating Dick's suffering, the lizard Oz turned a bit strange, a tad weird, this morning ...

Killer's effort covering the state of the orange Jesus's situation can be safely overlooked. 

It was relatively straight, was put together in company with Dow Jones, didn't mention Covid or masks as the real reason, and was summarised by Golding ...

There was a juicy conspiracy theory podcast, setting straight those naïve mug punters who thought the 81 year old had died in UPMC Salvator Mundi international hospital as a result of a cardiac arrest following hip surgery ...

"Shrouded in mystery", up there with the mysterious shroud of Turin, but not having a podcast to sell with a conspiracy theory, the pond has more prosaic business to hand... nattering "Ned" having conniptions about nuking the country to save the planet ...  with Emilia Tortorella's opening artwork setting a new standard for reptile interns using Photoshop ...

This is more than passing strange. For years the reptiles have been baying to the moon about the urgent need to nuke the country, and suddenly "Ned" discovers the obstacles are mammoth and multifaceted 

Colour the pond bemused, as the reptiles offered the usual visual distractions ...

The pond did like one of Captain Spud offering a Christ-like gesture, but it seems he might be just a naughty boy ...

"Ned" was having one of his classic Chicken Little fits, running about in a state of high excitement and despair, as the clouds from the SMRs got dangerously close to earth ...

What on earth is this talk of cynical political opportunism, callow renewables denialism and big challenges? What did they put in the water cooler in Surry Hills this week?

Oh dear, now it's clear, it's the polls wot done it, and "Ned" has gone into a classic funk, or fugue if you will, which is to say, "a loss of awareness of one's identity, often coupled with flight from one's usual environment."

After years of pumping up nuking the country, suddenly we're here? Suddenly "Ned" is doing a Chance the Gardiner routine?

Unless the foundations are secure, but as long as the roots are not severed, all is well, and all will be well in the SMR garden ...

Here, have a Wilcox in memory of the absent Dame Slap ...

Moving right along, there were other reptiles having conniptions this day, revolving around the notion that Captain Spud and his team had gone beyond pinko prevert policies to dire green ...

What to say? Well this was, in the pond's fragile memory, the first time that snappy Tom had appeared in the pond, but clearly he was no fan of agrarian socialism, and a little video didn't console him ...

Snappy Tom was short, but sharp and severe ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, first nervous nelly "Ned", then snappy Tom. Here, have an infallible Pope in memory of the absent Dame Slap ...

The pond's survey this day wouldn't be complete without noting the contribution by an agitated Eric, carrying a big stick and covering much the same turf as snappy Tom, resulting in a murmuration of agitated reptiles...

Ah, the pond just knew it, it was those bloody agrarian socialists, with Little to be Proud Of at the root of the problem ... but what's all this talk of a big stick? Why it was a tremendous success back in the day ...

It seems there's no pleasing agitated Eric, who came with his own illustrations, featuring the mutton Dutton up against the saintly, demure Coles CEO ...

There seems to be no pleasing the reptiles this day, with agitated Eric embarking on a long rant ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, has the mutton Dutton got Little to be Proud Of, or what, and yet back in the day, carrying a big stick was much loved as a strategy ...

But enough of Xmas surprises, and Nobel prizes, this is the winter of reptile discontent, made inglorious by this Little to be Proud Of and the rest of the suddenly greenie mob ...

We must put the big stick away? So much for the pond's attempt at history, and so to end this weird day in company with deeply unhappy reptiles with a couple of immortal Rowes, celebrating the orange Jesus in full flight ... with a twinge of regret that Dame Slap wasn't around, at least in the early morning light, to bow down and worship her hero ...

There was a Luckovich too ...

In which the usual groaning is followed by an import and the bromancer...

 

What the United States needs right now is a drover's dog, but they don't seem to have a drover, let alone her dog. 

What they do have is a king blessed with divine rights and complete immunity - subject to legalistic quibbles - or perhaps more to the point, an emperor with Napoleonic capacity. 

American democracy - always a stretched and sketchy concept - is now officially dead, thanks to a deeply corrupt, authoritarian-loving court.

What the Labor party needs is a little empathy, long lost in a rats in the ranks mentality. Diversity? That's just a word on a cereal box, stop the pond before things get too deep.

What the lizard Oz needs is a change in its commentariat team, but again, no joy for the pond. What a dismal line up this day ...

The reptiles did at least do a profile of their loyal readership ...

... but the pond had to move along, because Tuesday is always the day for a dinkum groaning, and it usually comes down to either furriners ruining things or renewables ruining things, though on days when it's an epic groan, somehow those two things can come together in an epic conflation and confusion.

And so it came to be, with those dastardly, fiendish whale-killing devices yet again featured as the visual props ...

Remarkably the reptiles managed two more windmills sightings, as well as two men with arms crossed ...

As for Dame Groan, she delivered in a way that was so predictable that the pond began to think that it could have written it with the help of a bit of AI steeped in Groan verbiage ...

That line about doing nothing because it will have nil impact has long been a reptile favourite, but wait for it, because at the end of the next gobbet, that magic pairing, wicked furriners and wicked renewables, will magically come together to produce 'roon' ... oh, we'll all be rooned ere sundown ...

Think here bee in bonnet of endlessly repetitive old biddie, but she is remarkably consistent in what the reptiles assured the pond was just a five minute read, but which seemed to go on and on ...

Indeed, indeed, and just listen to Dame Groan emit a long, dire NIMBY groan when they dump an SMR in her back yard ...

Then with a final gobbet of groaning, the Dame sputtered to a predictable end ...

The pond begins to understand why esteemed correspondents have taken to reading the Speccie mob or the Quad rant mob, producing tales from the wild-eyed fringes down there with reports of dragons at the end of the world ... they're vastly more amusing than these Tuesday groans ...

To be fair to the reptiles, they did reassure the pond by bringing in some outside help and a note from the lizard Oz editorialist under the header G-G hits good note on first day, but the infallible Pope said all that needed to be said on that matter...

As for the outsider, the pond confesses that it hadn't heard of Matthew Syed, apparently a former table tennis player and regular star in Private Eye's "Pseuds' Corner", but appreciated the chance for a bit of diversity ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond hadn't thought of Billy Durant in decades ... the sort of populist historian frowned on by the pond's history teachers, and therefore to be treated as a guilty pleasure, only for the pond to sneak off behind the arras to discover a stunning bore ...

As for that link, relax, for some reason the reptiles links never seem to work, with that link talking of the travesty of an election in the Uk leading to the French foreign minister saying in 2022 that Morrisons defeat suited him very well ... hardly news, because it suited a lot of people very well ...

Meanwhile, there were the usual video distractions and a plethora of snaps ...

That last snap at least provided an excuse to feature the immortal Rowe ...

Then it was on with the Ginsbergian howl of despair ...

Vitality of a civilisation? Why that's almost up there with talk of precious bodily fluids ... but as the pond has often warned of the dangers of fluoride, why not a quote warning of the dangers of spoiled and entitled peasants ...

...Peasant: I told you!  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune!  We're taking turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--

Arthur: (uninterested) Yes...

Peasant: But all the decisions of that officer 'ave to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting--

Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!

Peasant: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--

Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!

Peasant:But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--

Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I order you to be quiet!

Peasant cross dresser: "Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?

Arthur: I am your king!

Peasant alleged woman: Well I didn't vote for you!

Arthur: You don't vote for kings!

Peasant woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?

(holy music up)

Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.  THAT is why I am your king!

Peasant: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!  Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!

Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!

Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!!

Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut UP!

Peasant: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Arthur: (throwing the peasant around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!

Peasant: Aha!  Now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Arthur: SHUT UP!

Peasant: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!

Arthur: (letting go and walking away)  Bloody PEASANT!

Peasant: Oh, what a giveaway!  Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh?  That's what I'm all about!  Did you see 'im repressing me?  You saw it, didn't you?!

It turns out that the pond could have run the "what have the Romans done for us this week" routine, because yet again we get a reminder that the point of life is to build an empire at the point of a sword ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, it must be a relief to get all that off his chest ... though so far as the Chinese being the Vandals, it escaped the pond when reading its ancient history that the Vandals were in possession of super computers and knew how to produce a damned good chip ...

Unfortunately all weird things must end, but credit to The Times for this one ...

Once again the reptile links let the pond down -  that link led to Killer Creighton reporting on the big debate - but if you want the Graudian's take on Paul Johnson and the IFS, you can find it here...

The main message the pond takes from the piece and the routinely errant links that lead only to other places in the hive mind? It seems that Western Civilisation might mean finding some way out of the reptile hive mind ...

Usually the pond would end it there - two reptiles on any day is enough for even the most devout herpetology student - but the pond couldn't resist the bromancer, especially as the pond has been ignoring some of the regulars of late.

Sadly the bromancer's piece seems to have been written before the deeply corrupt SCOTUS mob provided an immunity clause ... so the bro's central thesis was profoundly silly ...

As usual, there was a video and a couple of snaps to break up the yarn, with one even featuring a bold montage ...

The main point of the story was that the bromancer was now all in for the coup-loving authoritarian ...and in something of a panic that the mango Mussolini might end up in the clink while on his march to a dictatorship.

That left the bromancer still bleating on about a deeply corrupt con artist and snake oil salesman getting collared for a crime ...

The pond can still remember those ancient days of conservatives shouting that if you did the crime, you had to do the time, and if 12 jurors said you did the crime ...

As for gravely undermining American courts, the pond confesses to doing one of those lame double takes you see in American sitcoms.

That's what undermines American courts, and incidentally what was once a democracy? 

How about this? (paywall)

Justice Sonia Sotomayor issued a withering dissent to the Supreme Court’s presidential immunity ruling on Monday, writing that U.S. presidents will now be able to assassinate political rivals and accept bribes with impunity while they’re in office.

That’s a dangerous precedent to set, Sotomayor wrote, especially as the increasingly unpredictable Donald Trump seeks a return to the White House.

“The president of the United States is the most powerful person in the country, and possibly the world,” Sotomayor wrote. “When he uses his official powers in any way, under the majority’s reasoning, he now will be insulated from criminal prosecution.”

That is exactly as terrifying as it sounds, Sotomayor wrote. She laid out a chilling list of hypotheticals that a president could carry out without legal consequence: “Orders the Navy’s Seal Team 6 to assassinate a political rival? Immune. Organizes a military coup to hold onto power? Immune. Takes a bribe in exchange for a pardon? Immune. Immune, immune, immune.”

In her own dissent, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson agreed that Monday’s ruling was a dangerous one. She wrote that “the seeds of absolute power for Presidents have been planted” and “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

The conservative majority Supreme Court has lobbed assist after assist to Trump this year. By accepting his immunity case, it effectively bumped his pair of federal criminal trials off the 2024 calendar.

Now, with a possible election win in November, Trump would be equipped with an unprecedented amount of power in what was already the world’s most powerful political position.

Trump celebrated the court’s decision on Monday, posting in all-caps to Truth Social, “Big win for our constitution and democracy. Proud to be an American!”

Oh yes, and proud to be a brilliant snake oil salesman too.

Never mind, just a couple of whiny bro gobbets to go ...

It's not corrupt? It's nothing of the kind?

Talk to the hand, or perhaps the graph ...

And so the final full MAGA gobbet, of the sort you might expect from a barking mad fundamentalist tyke, purporting a feigned reluctance, as if he wasn't all in ...

Oh yes, there's many more pleasures ahead ...