In which the pond keeps nibbling on reptile after dinner mints, but it's Sunday ... how could the pond ignore Polonius, Lloydie of the Amazon and the bromancer?

 

The pond is attempting to limit its dietary intake of reptile stew as the holyday season approaches, but what torment it produces ...

Of course prattling Polonius has a safe berth ... 

Given these choices for the start of the pond's Sunday meditation  ....

... the pond had only one choice. 

The pond is well over reptiles yammering on about IR reform - spare a thought for the mug punters employed by Deliveroo - and so our Gracie was ushered to the door,  thereby creating space for the pond to recommend reading Marina Hyde sending up the contemptible soapy water and Budweiser free spectacle about to unfold in Qatar and to advise herpetology students that Jim Waterson's piece in The Graudian, Murdoch v Trump: Rupert’s papers kick Donald, but Fox won’t play ball, could become the week's set text.

And with the decks cleared, the pond could turn to Polonius doing his bit for climate science denialism by simply not mentioning the science ...that simply had to be the go ...

Uh oh, that trouble-maker, the keen Kean is at it again, and in broad strokes, Polonius explains why anyone who's done so much for the planet deserves his broad support ... and it certainly isn't the keen Kean, because when dealing with climate science, what you need is a practitioner of what Carlyle called the dismal science, thereby adding another nail in science's column, since generally it's expected in science that you can provide a replicable test as proof ...

Ah yes, the deplorable rush to renewables ... ah yes, the fundamentally flawed desire to get rid of dinkum, sweet, innocent, virginal Oz coal ...

And what about the planet? Well the pond went on at great length about memory holes yesterday and when it comes to climate science, Polonius has a grand memory hole ... if you ignore it, it doesn't exist ...  and if that's not the best way to strut your credentials as a climate scientist, it's hard to imagine a better one, broadly speaking ...

Meanwhile, it's time for Polonius to have an anxiety attack at the chance of being surrounded by socialists, down there with Alice's worries about rampant playing cards ...

Often with an evident sense of enthusiasm.

Only in Polonius's world, but more than a match for the dog botherer and the Killer when it comes to Covid jibber jabber ...

As for the rest, surely it's an almost perfect climate science column ... up there with 'don't mention the war' - and an even better one when it comes to mentioning things going down with the much a 

lobster with a mobster mob ...

Graudian away here ... 

Only in Victoria, except when it happens in another state, but the pond was feeling a little dissatisfied.

Sure, Polonius had treated climate science as a matter of personalities and political grand-standing and cheap point scoring, but that sort of sugary confection always invites another serve, especially if the meal is whipped up by a chef from the Lloydie of the Amazon school of reptile climate science denialist catering ...

s there a better person to hand to give personal insight into climate hypocrisy than Lloydie of the Amazon?

Why reading that you'd almost think Lloydie of the Amazon thought climate change was real, and its impact noticeable and inaction deplorable ... you know ...

The pond prescribes ten Bjorn-again columns, a cup of tea and a good lie down because Lloydie of the Amazon was getting positively agitated about the lack of action ...

Minister Bowen, take note?! 

Surely Lloydie of the Amazon might himself take note?

That wasn't so long ago, scribbled back in October of last year, and nothing much has changed since then.

Here have a cartoon to help Lloydie of the Amazon celebrate...

Now back to the still agitated Lloydie of the Amazon, ever alert to hypocrisy but not so much motes in eyes ... and with this gobbet even featuring a snap of little Timmy Bleagh's infamous poley bear ...

Oh dear, a Trojan horse for a communist world government by Xmas ... but don't you worry about and of that or the planet ...

... and speaking of greenwashing, Lloydie of the Amazon was on the case ...

Indeed, indeed, it seems pious hypocrisy is everywhere, and greenwashing is a favourite reptile sport ...

Ah yes, grand days, when the reptiles still had the cult master in their employ and Plimer was on regular hand, ready to spew for them while plugging his Connor Court outing ...

Say what? The reptiles breached the APC's standards of practice and got spanked with a warm, wet lettuce leaf?

There was a lot more in that Plimer; suffice to say that the reptiles have become a little more skilled in their denialism, in the hypocritical faux manner of Lloydie of the Amazon ...

And at this point the pond's desire to cut back on its reptile intake saw the rubber hit the road and the pedal touch the metal.

What, no bromancer? But surely, if it was just a long dessert, how could it do any harm?

By golly there still could be a war with China in the New Year. It might be a new dawn and a new day, but the dragon will have to be taken down, and what better way than have a plucky 25 million take on the odd billion in the style of the Spartans.

Now the pond will concede that this bromancer outing is more than an after dinner mint, it's more like a binging of the whole packet ... but to be fair munching on the bromancer did mean that the pond could forego another feast ...

Sorry Herr Jannings - watch out for Der blau Engel and Freudian eggs - when the pond wants a war with China, or military advice on capabilities, it will always revert to the bromancer, always in fine analytical tank-destroying fettle ...

At this point, the pond began to nod off. That listicle device of a "first" always means a visit to the endless style of nattering "Ned" ...

The pond decided to strike a deal with the bromancer ... a few cartoons on things the pond finds amusing ...

Revert back to the top for that story about that very selective push by the empire, and then the way is clear to get on with the listicle ...

Say what? There wasn't a 'second' in the listicle? 

There was just an "and then", though long ago the pond learned from the movies that there should be no "and then" ...

Perhaps it should be obvious that at this point the pond is finding it hard to listen to the bromancer, and will do anything for a distraction ... but really every so often he does produce a corker, as in "The government got much more right than wrong in its dealings with Beijing ... it also led a public call for a full investigation into the origins of Covid. This was justified in theory but achieved nothing ..."

Whatever happened to simplistic Sharri, where was she when this went down in October? International task force finds COVID-19 origins 'most likely zoonotic' and warns of a failure to reduce animal-to-human transmission

Oh dear, it wasn't a lab and a dark conspiracy, and all those threats to kill Covid specialist scientists just another bump in the hose-holding road ...

And then the bromancer decided to cut back the war talk, for the moment dashingthe pond's hopes of a war in the New Year ...

Indeed, indeed ... as opposed to the immeasurably stronger America currently on view thanks to News Corp ...

Say what you will, this cartoon-led recovery is helping the pond get through this exceedingly generous serve ...

Huzzah ... in almost any reptile post, contemplate it long enough and you'll find a climate science denialist aside of the kind "I think its (climate) policy there is excessive ..."

Because doing something about the state of the planet is always excessive for a dedicated reptile ... especially whenthere are so many other interesting topics of conversation and matters for investigatiion ...

Meanwhile, as expected, that mention of Gough sent the bromancer right off, because while you can take the bromancer out of the DLP, you can't take the DLP out of the bromancer ...

Of course the bromancer wasn't attempting a balanced assessment - he's always been much happier celebrating the works of Billy McMahon, Harold Holt and head prefect Fraser (oh wait, didn't the head prefect turn socialist squatter in his later years, and become chums with Gough?)

Forget it Jake, the race is on ...

And that just leaves room for the bromancer to return, scorpion and frog like, to his old theme - prepare for war, if not by Xmas, then quite possibly in the New Year ...

Yes, hard-nosed men of the intractable Xi and bromancer kind are still anxious to bung on a do and never mind the dangers because you can take it from the pond that as soon as trouble erupts the bromancer will be doing a Dashiell Hammett and enlisting, putting his body where his keyboard once was ...

And now as the pond has a few cartoons left over ... so in no particular order ...