Saturday, April 11, 2020

In which the pond dutifully ignores both Dame Slap and the dog botherer ...



The pond makes no apology for running a little late this day … there was an early morning raid to be done, prepping for the bug-out and besides, it's only the reptiles, and the reptiles are completely useless at the moment, and if never heard from again wouldn't be missed. 

Besides, the pond could have scribbled a decent Dame Slap column in its head while waiting in the line with other early morning preppers.

Why aren't workers going out to be infected, so that Dame Slap might live in the Murdochian lifestyle to which she's accustomed would have been the theme …you know, cops, repression, government brutality and oppression, Orwellian, blah blah … yadda yah ... and waddya know?


Of course not so long ago, Dame Slap was a certified MAGA cap wearer, and hasn't that done wonders for the US, which will soon be the world champion of the virus …as the Donald manages to blame everyone but himself for his sublime incompetence …


More Bell here ...

The pond can't be bothered arguing with Dame Slap. What's the point? It's best to just observe the sociopathic mind at work …

The pond only hopes that the governments of the land pay more attention to the advice of public health officials than to the moaning, whining and wailing of the reptiles …who somehow, for all their talk of boldness and bravery, have dropped the bundle after a mere two weeks. 

Sheesh, remember all that blather about the Gallipoli spirit and Dunkirk and Churchill and enduring two world wars, and the mud of the Somme, and after two weeks, Dame Slap's running up the flag … after just two miserable fucking weeks!


She wants a solution? Managing it sensibly? Like the country that's soon going to be the world leader for deaths and infections?

But hasn't her MAGA-cap wearing hero already produced a solution that will see us out and about by Easter. Oh wait, isn't it Easter now?


No wonder the pond feels that reading Dame Slap is like treading on a path more dangerous than a virus ... 


And there you have it. It was in the header and the pond attempted to ignore it… but there it came again. Pollyannas will claim that all lives are of equal value, and that everyone has an equal claim to our limited resources. It is heartwarming. It is also wrong.

There you have it, the 'leet mentality writ large, the mind of a fascist, a selfish fascist at that, at work, ticking over and doing a number count on the deaths and those who can be written off. That it should turn up on an Easter Saturday is even more poignant … fuck all that jibber jabber Christ came out with, the fucking useless bearded Pollyanna with a middle eastern skin tone ...

What Dame Slap means to say is that she and others of her ilk are more important than the riff raff and the rabble, and things must be arranged for her pleasure and convenience, and if some must die, well, at least they can have a hot cross bun, or perhaps a bit of cake before they cark it …

What a cold-blooded, heartless bitch she is, how lacking in empathy, but how reassuring to see what the pond suspected all along, to see it put down in print … because in all that scribbling is a mindset very much like her hero …


And so to the dog botherer, and anyone expecting anything different from Dame Slap must be either deluded, unhealthily optimistic, or a passing reader unfamiliar with the reptile hive mind …


The splash says it all really, but because it was just a variation on the Dame Slap theme, this time the reptiles tried to dress it up …


Yep, but instead of talking about Pollyannas, the dog botherer decided to adopt the pose of an Uncle Ebenezer, a tight arse guarding the 'parritch', and adopting a steely resolve to make sure that anyone in need gets sweet fuck all …

The only question to be debated is who is more loathsome - Dame Slap or the Dog Botherer?

Realising that readers might be in this quandary, the reptiles decided to pretend that reading the dog botherer wasn't an learning exercise in how to be a prick and a miser, it needed to look vaguely informative… and so there was a graph ...


Actually the pond would rather focus on the United States, corporate home of the reptiles, and the way they're doing things there …


But back to the reptiles pretending to be useful by explaining herd immunity … a strategy adopted by the UK government for a nanosecond … and which resulted in a major victim …


Rowson on herd immunity here, and so on to the reptiles pretending that the dog botherer can be a source of handy information...


Fanciful? One thing's certain. The pond, which is in a high risk group, isn't going to pay the slightest attention to the reptiles …

Of course what sticks in the craw is the way the reptiles have had to transform themselves and adjust to a big spending government, which likely enough, as proposed by Dame Groan, will soon enough turn into a high taxing government, and with a surplus flown out the window, gone wild, and now we don't know in which gum it lurks or when it might return for a feed of bird seed …

This of course is all the fault of progressive types ...


The pond only knows one thing … listening to the dog botherer and Dame Slap is guaranteed not to get anyone, or the country, out of this … because if nothing else, the rest of the world is in the same mess, to one degree or another, and the US is in a deeper mess than most …

The usual reptile response is the high handed elitist one that can be relied upon … slaves must do the bidding of the ruling class, and get back to the salt mines, and if a few of the herd get picked off, well that's natural selection, tough shit, so long as the ruling class can still get on with the ruling and the sweet life, and the pundits can get on with their highly paid bullshitting for the ruling 'leets …

And that's why the GOP packed off the herd to vote, to see if natural selection could take its usual course …


19 comments:

  1. Ah, learn a word a day from the Doggy Bov: diapause - a period of suspended development in an insect, other invertebrate, or mammal embryo, especially during unfavourable environmental conditions.

    And you don't reckon the reptiles are educational, DP. Well how about this one from the DB: "the whole point of a conservative government is to eschew ideology in favour of what works."

    Yep, that's been the whole of the existence of every "conservative government" that ever has been, and that's why we all live in an earthly paradise. And especially now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The enduring conceit of conservative folk, that they are sitting back studying the facts and making judicious choices, really gets to me. There is no evidence that this ever happens.

      The current crises highlights beautifully how conservative governments react. Incomprehension, followed by indecision, then panic and finally a poorly explained and often poorly reasoned response. Rinse repeat etc

      At the reptile level you have a very limited range of responses. If a situation doesn't fit their simplistic template they will likely deny it exists. I think OA described the mindset as don’ wanna, ain’t gonna (DWAG).

      When the current shitstorm blew up there was more than just the normal desire to protect the status quo, these guys really didn't understand what was happening. I don't think they do yet.

      Forgive the rant, getting a bit tired of the stupid and self-serving.

      Delete
    2. It is just tad wearing now and then, isn't it. Especially given the complete lack of self awareness it entails.

      But buck up, without it we wouldn't have loonpond !

      Delete
  2. DP - not to appear ungrateful, but - who got the Lobbecke?

    I did my very limited scan, with no result. Took it up with my source. She tried all sorts of less-likely contributors. Exchange went like this -

    ‘There’s a Brendan O’Neill’

    ‘Is he out here? Doesn’t he visit during the Brit. winter?’

    ‘I think he is contributing from over there. And you don’t want to know what it is about.’

    ‘Have you tried the editorial? They have been long on editorial recently.’

    ‘Short editorial, but some comments. Although comments about a Leak fridge drawing.’

    ‘So - you can’t see a Lobbecke?’

    ‘No. It’s a bit like there not being a Gold Logie.’

    To show that this is not an expression of ingratitude - thank you, again, for grappling with that Dame and that Associate Editor (National Affairs).

    Sunny day here - butterflies all over the garden.


    Other Anonymous.

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    Replies
    1. Any bees ? And which breed(s) of flutterbys ? I seldom see any cabbage moth butterflys these days and they used to be numerous.

      Delete
    2. Sorry OA, but like your correspondent, the pond couldn't spot a Lobbecke. Perhaps he fled for Easter … but what's with this insulting of cabbage moths, GB, by comparing them to the cult master?

      Delete
    3. No, no, DP, I didn't call the cabbage moths 'pests' like another commenter has. I've always liked to see them around (even though for years I thought they really were moths and not butterflys).

      Delete
    4. Dorothy and GB - lest the sun set on a needless difference of opinion - might I retract 'pests' and substitute 'feral introductions'. Given that just about every other species introduced to (or which have adroitly evaded 'Biosecurity Australia') our land girt by sea has adapted so well, and multiplied, I am wondering if numbers of some of the species known to suburbia are actually falling.

      Other Anonymous

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    5. Hi OA. I was actually doing a bit of moth and other flying bug spotting after the bushfires, during Jan. and Feb.
      Sitting out on the back porch with the spotlight on, a cup of coffee and the tablet. Through early Jan. i.e. the first 4 nights, absolutely zero kamikaze moths or any bugs for that matter, on the first two nights. Actually whinged to the other half that the bugs had vanished. On the 3rd. night I saw one small moth and a couple of minuscule critters and same on the 4th night.
      Normally there is a constant barrage of different bugs.......and it has been pretty much the same, from a point of casual observation......an hour here and there and looking out the back window. Feb.was about the same and March until now has cooled considerably(Melb.) and there has been basically none about.......although here we seem to have a daily abundance of the Cabbage critters.
      For what it is worth, over the last 4 years there has been hardly a single house fly parasailing under the Lazerlite sheeting and this last 6 months has seen a plague of blue bottle flies. I keep the mini Foxie poop cleaned up, but we have heaps of possums, so maybe there is a dead one around as we have two derelict houses nearby.
      Either way, the numbers are way down from casual observation. Maybe I need a new hobby! :)) Cheery Anon.

      Delete
  3. “Comment is free, but facts are sacred”. We have been told many times that anything that is free is of no value,so I guess the life of an opinion writer is of very little value. To put it another way, "they never would be missed". Less value than a telephone sanitiser, I'd say (see The Hitchhiker's Guide). If they went on strike, would anyone notice?
    Your commentary, DP, is of course indispensable. If you and Dame Slap were on a failing plane with only one parachute, Karma would ensure that you got the parachute.

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  4. Albrechtsen is different from the other reptiles: she believes what she says. Let’s hope she never goes into politics. If she became a minister she would make Dutton look like Mahatma Gandhi.
    Somebody like Cater knows he’s just there to provide entertainment for anger junkies. He could be the same in the motoring section, or the restaurant guide. All the serious work is done at the Menzies Research Institute.
    Now that some categories of people are expendable, does that include the Chairman, at 89?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah well, NH, it's all a matter of measuring the world in terms of WELLBYs, and since the Chairman is a multi-multi-billionaire, then every moment of his life rates at least one WELLBY. Whereas your and my lives only rate a maximum of 480 WELLBYs from birth to death at 80yo.

      There's no use complaining, it's just irrefutable economic logic:

      http://clubtroppo.com.au/2020/04/08/how-many-wellbys-is-the-corona-panic-costing/

      Delete
  5. "The only question to be debated is who is more loathsome - Dame Slap or the Dog Botherer?"

    I had a think about that and I truly can't separate the them. These two are the absolute worst of the worst, it would be tragic to place one above the other. It got me to thinking, who would you rate as the top 5 reptiles for loathsomeness? Clearly, in my opinion, Slap and the botherer would be equal first but who occupies the other three spots? Personally I think the Major is number 3 (what an imbecile), Cater number 4? Jones should probs be in the top 5 but the list is long and distinguished to fill these spots.

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  6. GB - today the most common up here (approximately 800 metres above sea level) is Catopsilia pomona. In its completely white phase it could be mistaken for the Cabbage White, but we are seeing the full range of colouring of ‘pomona’ through to orange. They have been visitors in other years, but not as common as now. That contrasts with the Jezebels which did not turn up back in October-November; but we were in drought then. We are also seeing large Orchard Swallowtails - Papilio aegeus - (good to see that generic name still) and Crows, Euploea, going their stately, unflustered way.

    Cabbage Whites, and Sparrows - two pests that seem to be dropping away in numbers.

    Oh - bees - looking good, both European and native ('blue footy jersey' kinds, but difficult to pin down species without capturing some). We also see the almost unbelievable Xylocopa bombylans (specific, as you may have worked out - 'like a bumble bee') because our bit of bush has numerous Xanthorrhoeas, in which it nests.

    'Tis a good time to contemplate the wonderful (strictly non-human) beings around us.


    Other Anonymous

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    1. Ah, now Linnaean is a foreign language to me, but I shall have some interest in deciphering all those terms as I expend multiple WELLBYs in these bleak days of social isolation.

      Sparrows seemed like they were just about to go extinct - at least in suburban Melbourne - some time ago (a year or two). From plentiful to virtually vanished overnight, or so it seemed. Now slowly coming back, but where once might have been a flock of 20 or more, now there's mostly just 3 or 4. I think it had to do with the sudden disappearance of so many insects - flies, for instance: used to be lots buzzing round the light outside our back door; now, like the sparrows, only 2 or 3 where once there were a dozen or more.

      Quite disturbing, really:

      https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/feb/10/plummeting-insect-numbers-threaten-collapse-of-nature

      But, to return to the subject at hand, I don't expect that the reptiles would have noticed any of that, it sounds just a little too much like "ecological effects of climate change". And we all know that's not happening.

      Delete
  7. The Slap is an unadulterated loathsome bitch, as you say Dorothy, but one struggles to see how any person got to that point, particularly as they have had an apparently easy set of steps in life. Maybe she was fostered out to a vicious aunt as a child. Who knows, but she is not well.

    Regards the US kleptocracy, no doubt Wisconsin is the template for 2020.
    One thing that is assured is that the Slap would see this as all above board.
    Is anyone manufacturing MAGA face masks yet?
    Cheery Anon.

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/apr/09/wisconsin-republicans-primary-democracy?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other#comment-139645794

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  8. A grandmother aged eighty three
    Said "My life is precious to me"
    But Dame Slap said “Tough!
    You’ve lived long enough”
    You’re a drain on our economy

    Poor Janet cried out under pressure
    As the lockdown began to depress her
    “This disease is a curse -
    But the cure is much worse -
    And I need to see my hairdresser!”

    With the last parachute on her back
    Dame Slap gloated “I’m alright Jack”
    But she crumpled in pain
    When she jumped from the plane
    As it was still on the tarmac…

    ReplyDelete

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