Relax. The pond has returned in the nick of time to deal with the reptiles dealing with the crisis, and who better than nattering "Ned", on hand to label it a working-class virus crisis, and Dame Slap on patrol to blame and shame …
Who should lead off? Dame Slap or "Ned"?
Sad to say, the pond must always favour "Ned", on the theory that tedium will set in for any reader within the first gobbet.
They can then can abandon the pond, and go on with useful lives, completely unaware of anything contained herein …
Take it away "Ned" with a marvellous piece of artwork …
Now what say you about the Donald, beloved by Fox and Friends, and News Corp?
Ah, it seems there's hope yet in the old dog …
But stay, this is a serious matter. There can be no cartoons, "Ned" is always in a solemn mood, and here the solemnity verges on the undertaker ...
Hang on, hang on. Was it only a short time ago that Dame Slap herself was heralding a new era as she donned the MAGA cap and slipped out into the luxuriant New York night air?
Okay, that's just a pond ritual, like the sprinkling of the holy water or making the sign of the cross, and now we must scuttle back to another interminable serve of "Ned", fretting about a con artist that News Corp and Fox and the chairman have done much to sustain, all for the pleasure of making money without care of consequence ...
Hmm, a devastating epidemic long in the making, what on earth could it be?
We keed, we keed, where's the harm in making a little cash out of cultivating ignorance? Go on "Ned", keep on missing the point … and please make sure it's all about the suffering whites, because if you can't dog whistle to white nationalism, how could you ever call yourself a decent Murdochian?
Strange, the pond could replicate that exact last par and substitute the word 'black' and sound like dozens of solemn texts. Here, try it on for size and see if it fits …
“With lower wages, fewer poorly educated black men are considered marriageable, and this has given rise to a pattern of serial cohabitation — when individuals live with a number of partners in succession without ever getting married — with the majority of less-educated black mothers having children out of wedlock and with many black fathers in midlife separated from their children, living without the benefit of stable family life.
There, fixed, and luckily just in time for a final gobbet of "Ned" …
Why the pond and the reptiles and the Murdochians at large know just what will fix what ails ya …
And so to that great Donald lover, Dame Slap, standing by and ready to assign blame to her poorly performing students …
Hmm, who to turn to in a crisis? Well the pond has already shown how Dame Slap donning the MAGA cap can deal with any crisis, but if the Donald's already been done, surely next best is Pauline Hanson telling us all to harden the fuck up ...
Uh huh … no doubt there are many deeper causes of the current panic …
Oh sheesh, the pond said no more cartoons, but this is a crisis, and Dame Slap must keep on telling people to harden the fuck up, and soon enough it will turn into a classic litany, and probably Greta will turn up to cop a share of the blame, and oh fuck … just do it, harden the sinews, and just fucking do it … as the lover of the great narcissist blames others for selfishness ...
Indeed, indeed, the pond must confess to zero trust in the Murdochian reptiles, especially if Dame Slap somehow manages to drag in climate science and Greta to populate the next gobbet's litany of pet reptile phobias and fears ...
She did, she did, she did work in Greta, while also finding the time to rip into social media, and never mind her viciously ripping into others in her column …
Was it only a short time ago she was blathering about selfishness, and calling down Pauline? Was it only a moment ago she was scribbling about nutter Extinction Rebellion zealots, the reptiles' favourite way of debating climate science in a reasonable and rational manner?
Was the Dame even presumptuously posing as an oracle of wisdom up against young things?
And now will she, Donald lover and conspiracy theory enthusiast, go on to talk of tribalisation?
Indeed she will … and oh dear, could it be that the scales are falling from the eyes when it comes to Scotty from marketing?
Now at this point, even the hardiest souls might be shrieking, enough already, just give me a shot of the virus and have done with it, how could it be any worse than this relentless reading of the reptiles.
But the pond isn't finished … look what the reptiles lined up down the digital page ...
Usually our Adam bashing unis would be an admirable feint, and Gra Gra taking time off from his Swiss bank accounts to do a Don Watson would be deemed weird enough to justify a view - literacy never having been as big a virtue as the numeracy needed to count the cash in the paw in Gra Gra's 'whatever it take's world - but sadly both missed out, because the bromancer also took up the pressing matter of the moment, and whenever the bromancer speaks, the pond must listen ...
The Donald's strengths? Only the bromancer could find them, and yet strangely, just when needed, they seem to have abandoned the Donald …
But please, let's give the Donald the credit … after all, it's not Europe, and who wouldn't prefer a completely fucked America to the wretched condition of living in Europe? Yesterday it was all China's fault, today it turns out, it's all Europe's ...
And there in a nutshell, with that classic mix of paranoia and the desire to punish - and the Donald-like dreaming that somehow it's all Europe's fault and the United States has once again been done down by Europe - is as good a summary of why the reptiles are completely clueless, in a way that despite all the hard evidence, even the pond finds hard to imagine …
And so to one last duty, because the lizard Oz editorialist was also on the case ...
We must do no lasting harm and ride out the crisis, then emerge stronger, unless you happen to be dead, and then perhaps you might not emerge that much stronger?
Sure it meant turning this day at the pond into an epic reptile read up there with ancient Norse sagas, the Spanish flu and the black plague, but the pond had to go there …
Indeed, indeed, never give Chairman Rudd any credit for 2008 … though it does make it a tad tricky for the current Everest climbers, as observed by the immortal Rowe here …
Foolishly, the pond wondered if the reptiles might propose providing some relief for the poor bludgers stuck on New Start, because there's one certainty - anyone in that situation who gets a little additional cash in the paw will drop it back into the economy quicker than you can say the Donald is a con artist, and a snake oil salesman, with his very own line in fraudulent health schemes …
(here)
But no, reading the lizard Oz editorialist instead provides a classic example of why the country is ill-equipped to deal with pretty much anything …
Good luck with that, trying to make sense of the conflicting reptile voices baying into the void, and coming up with solutions ... with "Ned" in his usual gloom, Dame Slap blaming everyone and everything, from selfishness to Greta to Scotty from marketing, and the bromancer wringing his hands and blaming the bloody Europeans, as if yesterday's Caterist outburst blaming the Chinese had completely missed the point …
The pond's position? Well the pond's with the dog, at least if you transform the man into a reptile …
Neddy: "So far [Trump] has looked out of his depth, peddling as late as Monday foolish tweets including a dismissal of coronavirus in comparison with the common flu."
ReplyDeleteNow what was it that a senior reptile had to say about tweeters ? Oh yes, from the Doggy Bov: "If people are getting their coronavirus news from Twitter, should we really be surprised they're acting like twits ?"
Ok, so in the reptile's opinion, the Twitter Idiot in the WhiteHouse is feeding the cohort of twits throughout the nation. Yep, I think we can all see that.
But otherwise, DP, that was just a thought-free fillin pot-boiler from Nattering Ned. As usual, exerting no effort brings no results except the continuing slow erosion of any semblance of relevance. But that's our Neddy.
First though, a small interjection on Dame Slap when she says "most don't have any experience of using strips of newspaper." I can agree with that; anybody with any refinement used pages of old telephone books: the pages were a good size and the paper was softer and gentler than newspaper. And you could drive a nail through the top left corner of the book and attach some cord to it to hang the book from in the dunny.
Hmm, Dame Slap: "Rating agencies were in on the racket too..."
Reminds that once upon a time, the daily news was full of Fitch and Standard & Poor "ratings" and talk about 'triple-A', but one never hears anything about them now. Another collapse into the garbage bin of history ?
Instead, we now get this from the Dame: "...when apparently serious people treat Greta Thunberg, a young girl, as an oracle of wisdom...". Yep, gotta get the day's "Two Minute Hate of Greta" in. But just a passing thought: how old was Joan of Arc when she led the French Army to victory over the English at Orleans ? Just 18, I think, and she was burned at the stake a year later. Greta had better be careful.
But then you say, DP: "...could it be that the scales are falling from the eyes when it comes to Scotty from marketing?" Well if she is, it's only her, according to Essential poll, ScottyfM is resurging:
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/11/essential-poll-scott-morrison-regains-lead-as-preferred-prime-minister-after-bushfire-backlash
But what can be said about The Bromancer's now all but defunct teeny-crush on The Donald ? Well, nothing much at all really, and The Bromancer has said it all: "To Trump's credit, America is richer than it would be without him..."
Sure it is, Bromancer, sure it is. We can all see that, can't we.
Then we have The Editorialist: "...in the US, there is talk of payroll tax relief for small and medium businesses..."
I rather suspect that The Editorialist hasn't a clue what "payroll tax" means in the US. It isn't something paid by businesses but by employees as their social security contribution. If he had said "payroll tax relief for lower paid workers" then he might just have made a point. But then, he wouldn't be a true reptile, would he.
I'm pleased to see you back DP. The past days have been a bit bleak without you.
ReplyDeleteIt's nearly adorable that the Dame has chosen the same image that Hanson's idiotic lieutenant has despatched via twitter this week. He captioned the exemplary demonstration of capitalism as "Australia gets a taste of socialism". The teamwork between News and Phon is a thing. A beautiful thing.
ReplyDelete