It's the reptiles' big day, when the unholy trinity of the Major, the Oreo and the Caterist strut the stage, but the pond simply had to start with the Major, because the Major is at one with the public, the Major knows the public intimately, the Major speaks for the public, the Major understands the public is sick, the Major is the voice of the public, oh ye public, how lucky you are to have the Major understand and speak for you …
Now pedants or cynics who might wonder what this mysterious collective public might be simply don't understand the Major's transcendental relationship with, and awareness of, the Public …
Naturally the pond has no understanding of the public, no connection with it, or awareness of it, but it seems the public must at all costs avoid the ABC … and only spend their time, and it goes without saying, their money, with the Major's mob ...
No doubt the Public will love the way that, inter alia, the Major interpolates a little "None of this is to suggest" in his screed, much beloved at the pond as the "but, billy goat, butt" strategy beloved by the reptiles.
In days of yore, it used to run "none of this is to suggest that there might be some basis for climate science, but billy goat, butt, let us not be alarmist …"
And to to the last of the Major's billy goatist buttism, in which he offers up the Bolter as an inspiration to, and aspiration for, all ...
The Bolter? He's gone from this tracking on Media Watch …
… back to his usual talk about alarmism, and his own patented brand of billy goatism ...
Follow the Bolter? Might as well get exposed to the virus, or perhaps just fuck the planet by denying climate science …
And so to the Caterist, who, as the pond notes many times, is an expert on the movement of flood waters in quarries, and so is perfectly positioned to explain everything …
Amazingly the Caterist didn't seem to be abreast of the times, and hadn't heard the news, even though it was on the front page of the lizard Oz tree killer edition, no doubt languishing in airports and losing its circulation figures at a rapid rate …
But enough of the news, back to the Caterist, though the pond will concede that in the case of the Caterist, any two - the Caterist and a reader - is more than enough of a crowd ...
Um, wasn't it SloMo who refused Albo a place in the national cabinet?
Sheesh, the pond must stop skimming the headlines, and focus on the fluid situation, which is perhaps like the movement of fluids in quarries ...
A poll? Voluntary self-isolation? What, like this?
No, no, no, ignore all those snaps of the crowded beaches. People over 65 are self-isolating, and they only come in to contact with beach goers at supermarkets, pharmacies and the like, so everything is totally tip top ...
Yes, Australia must find its own solution, possibly by sticking our Caterist head in beach sand, and ignore the rest of the world, and follow the Caterist, and who knows, at the least there might be a grand defamation action to follow …
And so to the recovering reformed feminist …
Apparently the Oreo has decided to give up all fees for the public service she performs by scribbling her columns for the lizard Oz …
Now the pond thought this unlikely, but decided it was enough of a motivation - finding the evidence - to scour the Oreo's latest offering …
Nope, nothing there about spurning payment, and even a hint that SloMo's mob got it wrong, and lord help us, might have been better off following Boris's model for wage subsidies … though watching the terminator dance on the head of that particular pin on The Insiders was the most excruciating moment in the pond's weekend …
But back to the recovering, reformed Oreo, and that noble gesture of self-sacrifice … as opposed to snatching the cash out of the paw of those she doesn't like ...
But, billy goat, butt, there's no point in living in the past. The times have changed, things are on the move, and perhaps it might be more to the point to wonder why the government failed, despite many warnings, to fix myGov, and so has produced a complete mess, a debacle …
Steady on, it's the Oreo, she's not too worried about the poor buggers suffering at the moment, she's still mourning the surplus ...
How foolish of the pond, how silly, to expect that the Oreo would announce the ways she was sharing the economic pain … though last week, the infallible Pope showed us all how to share …
And so to a section dedicated to Lobbecke cultists, experts in what the pond understands should be called Lobb-eckology, or some such thing ...
Unfortunately the master turned up on a column unrelated to the pond's favourite three lizard Oz heavies, and the pond has already done far too much reptile following this morning, so this perforce is only the first gobbet …though the message and the tone is clear enough …
A tasty Lobbecke, and well worth considering and pondering upon, and interpreting the meaning … though if the pond reads it right, it seems to undercut the Caterist a little, and so luckily wasn't placed at the head of his meandering nonsense ...
But as for the author's message, that it's the Millennials that don't get it? Yet lordy lordy, it's clear that the reptiles of the lizard Oz don't get it, and so by the pond's impeccable logic, all the reptiles are Millennials …!
And that last par seemed to confirm it, because what reptile has grown up with the need for detail, depth and analysis?
As opposed to say, the hysteria of the Bolter or the Major's search for that Order of Lenin medal, or the Oreo's trading on long-forgotten academic feminist credentials, or the Caterist getting almost everything he scribbles about wrong?
At this point, the pond became so confused, so alarmed at a News Corp packed with millennials, that it turned to help from the immortal Rowe, and lucky he was here to provide it …
And so to an apology, for those wondering about "Ned" and his brevity.
Unfortunately the pond missed the major "Ned" and Bjorn and many other examples of the reptiles being reptilian on the weekend …
Here, have a cartoon instead …
‘the most excruciating moment in the pond's weekend’. For this viewer, although it was a masterly performance of the art of saying nothing - and going over time to do it - the Terminator’s interview was this viewer’s most excruciating ten minutes watching so far, this year. Worse than what emanates from the Trump because the Donald appears to get bored with his own ramblings after about 3 minutes - so is shorter than the Terminator.
ReplyDeleteSo, a shared experience. Thank you DP for reading, on our behalf, the opinions spread across today’s sacrificed trees. The theme is clear - it would be irresponsible to pass up the prospect of a 2/3rds return for a 1/3rd outlay.
My source has passed on to me a gem from today’s column, from the Associate Editor (National Affairs) a.k.a DogBov, which crystallises the understanding of economics amongst the opinion writers. He opined -
‘it has been blindingly obvious for many weeks that the further people are from the real economy, the happier they are to shut the world down.’
Yep, it is that ‘real economy’ that we must focus on. Not quite sure how it differs from the economy that we are trying to survive in right now, but no doubt we simple minds will be instructed on what opinions to hold, by those who so assiduously determine their ever-independent opinions - which just happen to harmonise with those of the Chairman.
Other Anonymous.
A bit of a mystery to me this "real economy", OA. But I seem to get the idea from the Doggy Bov (thanks be to the irrepressible 'source') that the practisers of the 'real economy' are very loath to spend dollars, but quite equanimous about expending lives. And the fact that they have no idea at all what the relationship between dollars spent and lives saved is of no concern to them at all.
DeleteBut then why would that concern them: if you spend too many dollars, you've got to do the hard work of making the RBA print more money; but if you expend too many lives, well just wait a while and the mothers will emerge unbidden to make plenty more of them.
On why the Oreo is wrong on money, see David Graeber at https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2019/12/05/against-economics/ (paywalled?)
ReplyDelete“'There is no magic money tree,' as Theresa May put it during the snap election of 2017... The phrase has been repeated endlessly in the media, whenever someone asks why the UK is the only country in Western Europe that charges university tuition, or whether it is really necessary to have quite so many people sleeping on the streets. The truly extraordinary thing about May’s phrase is that it isn’t true. There are plenty of magic money trees in Britain, as there are in any developed economy. They are called “banks.” Since modern money is simply credit, banks can and do create money literally out of nothing, simply by making loans."
Which many of us - well, me anyway - has known since John Kenneth Galbraith had his 'Money: Whence it Came, Where It Went' published in 1975 (updated in the 1990s). But that wasn't really so recondite; all anybody had to do was notice that even as the world's human population increased (and increasingly rapidly) that somehow, magically, the supply of money in the world kept increasing even faster. And so wages and profits and government revenue also increased. And so did inflation because the supply of money always ran ahead of the state of the world.
DeleteBut then in recent times, we've noticed a couple of things: now that we have 'central banks' (eg RBA), those central banks can print as much money as they want - it's now called 'quantitative easing' - and that simply doesn't matter so long as inflation stays relatively low. Like exactly what is happening now !
Sure, the benighted keep on insisting "it's debt ! It has to be paid back !", but then that's only a problem if all those little money trees, plus the big central one, don't keep on creating money.
But they do, they do ! And not only that but when, as now for quite a while, the growth rate of GDP exceeds the debt interest rate, then the growing GDP can easily pay off the debt+interest. But shshsh, don't tell that to the Oreo, she'd have a brain seizure.
In tomorrow's lesson, we will cover the fallacy of the NAIRU.
Well, it's a fine Monday, DP. And starting with the Modest Major: "Easier than researching complex medical literature they [catastrophic journalists, some at the ABC] stick with the old conflict model of reporting ..."
ReplyDeleteOh yes the "old conflict model" whereas the reptiles have moved on from that and now exhibit the 'new conflict model', viz: "whatever happens, the ABC got it wrong". So there was poor old ABC person Fran Kelly "demanding to know why Hunt's 'expert advisors' disagreed with a group of 22 health professionals who wanted a total lockdown".
And you know, I think I just might demand to know that too, right along with knowing why one lot are called "expert advisors" and the other lot are designated as mere "health professionals". But enough with the Major.
So, moving right on to the Cater, we get: "The Canberra gallery has been caught in the grip of Labor's cynicism, turning the Prime Minister's daily press briefings nastier and more distracting than they should be."
Oh ? And just how 'nasty' and 'distracting' should they be ? And as far as I can discern, "Labor's cynicism" amounts to wanting ScottyfromMatketing to save lives by spending dollars. Save all the lives, not just 2/3rds and spend all the dollars required, not just 1/3rd.
And then last, and least, we get to the Oreo. And wonder of wonders, I have to agree with at least one small point she made: "Australian politicians are highly paid. They can lead the way on COVID-19 by agreeing to a pay cut ...".
And who would disagree with that ? But then, SloMo will just ask his "quiet Australians" and they'll say nothing, of course, and so ScottyfromMarketing will take that as agreeing that he should get a raise for all the long, hard days he's had to work lately.
And so ends another fine reptile Monday.
Hi DP.
ReplyDeleteThere’s not much of cryptic interest in this Lobbecke in that it’s more straightforwardly narrative driven than his usual perplexities. He’s really gone overboard with those emoji signifiers though. On its own the scary green polypvirus sign in the cop’s ridiculously hyper-extended hand would have got the message across.
The message is of course; “better watch out ignorant tattooed beatnik surfer millennial; there’s a really nasty bug floating around don’t ya know”.
Judging by the totally OTT depiction of the cop, one might fleetingly entertain the notion that Lobbecke is subtly rebelling against his reptile masters and is actually being sympathetic to the hapless solitary surfer…mightn’t one?
Rueful reptile rebellion ? Surely not, Kez, surely not.
DeleteProbably not GB…but we’re all entitled to the odd momentary lapse of reason in these interesting times. I am weirdly drawn to the fanciful idea that Der Lobbecke is an undercover cryptopictorialist planted by the left to confuse reptile readers even more. Such entirely frivolous thoughts are certainly a result of forced lockdown ennui - well that's my excuse anyway!
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Now I hope I can find it again to get the details, but I just caught something in passing yesterday about an American Democrat plot to plant someone "undercover" to deceive and mislead the Repugs.
DeleteQuizzed about it some time later, a senior Democrat confessed that they were "not that stupid, and not that smart". In short, just how stupid can somebody have to appear to be in order to confuse a bunch of reptiles ?