loon pond

 

Well a high rorting government needs a high taxing regime, and the reptiles understand, and so we'll have no talk from them of the weird ways of SloMo …

Instead, the pond proudly presents a "Ned" agony, which will produce at least eight fits …

 

Oh dear, what a disappointing stock photo to set the scene, with SloMo pointing and shouting. 

Couldn't they have found a better photo? There are many on file, and they're never dusted off ...

And so to the Everest of "Ned", always the best way to ensure that the reptiles induce terminal boredom, and people learn to switch off from the lizard Oz … (you'll have to read the weekly Beast to see how the reptiles treat heretics and traitors of the Speers kind).

Now let us begin the never-ending journey, with Boris the new villain ...

Say what? Who on earth would accept that Australia's export of decent clean dinkum Oz coal (oi, oi, oi), has something to do with the current situation? Every reptile knows it's just a humble 1.3% and what could we do anyway? Futility and other animals always grip the hearts of the reptiles when it comes to taking any kind of action at any time.

And now these dreadful Europeans are in consort with Boris? Didn't Brexit mean Boris was going to break away and join in the general looting and pillaging of the planet? What's got into the man? First giving away things to Huawei and the dreadful Chinese, and now this sort of talk, even if anything Boris bumbles out has the credibility of a fart in a lift?

Well it set "Ned" going on one of his endless interior monologues, and all the pond can do is listen to the ancient mariner ...

The figures fiddler reckons technology is the solution? But that fuckwit totally fucked up the digital transformation thingie when given the chance …

And what technology are we talking about, as the bumbling boofhead of beef signals his duplicitous message?

Well, the pond read on, not in hope, but for the sheer pleasure of seeing the ancient mariner twisting in the wind, and blathering on ...

Lordy, lordy, it's hard to pick out the gems in any interminable "Ned" rant, but did anyone else note that reference to the "populists on the right still anxious for a mad fight on whether human-induced climate change actually exists"?

Does "Ned" actually read his own rag? Does he read the assembled climate denialists? Does he head over to the News Corp tabloids to take in the Bolter, and little Timmy Bleagh, and Akker Dakker and many, many others? You know, the mad right populists? Why, the pond will bring out one below for an easter parade, with the bonnet barely hiding the zealotry.

Does "Ned" ever wonder why he sounds like a pompous, ponderous unendurable git full of - if the pond might sound presidential for a moment - bullshit? Well once things get flowing, it takes a lot to fill the outside dunny ...

Sheesh, the Donald is a complete climate science denialist. He's not pursuing a path in relation to climate change, and he's not deploying technology and capitalism. Anything that is happening in the United States is despite him, not because of him. He and his minions are busy rolling back regulations and wrecking the environment.

How, neigh why, does "Ned" live in such a mindless bubble? Why does he always make the pond think of horses? Is it the amount of hay?

The pond can only think that it's because reality doesn't reach Surry Hills, and the presence of the best baristas in the world has distorted the reptile mind … so that there can be interminable blather about the middle path, the tedious, futile and meaningless compromise which will deliver nothing, and achieve even less …

Hang on, hang on, it's been a very long time since the pond thought of Silicon Valley, and the "pivot", a running gag …

Jared: I'll admit I'm sleep challenged. I just spent 4 days trapped in a steel box out in an oil rig full of robot forklifts. But now I'm back, and I am recovering, and I am focused, and we're going to pivot. Don't lose faith guys. Look at me, look at me. We've got a great name, we've got a great team, we've got a great logo, and we've got a great name. And now we just need an idea. Let's pivot. Let's pivot.
Dinesh: That might be the last time we see him alive.

Do we have a pivot in the house?

Oh dear, how did the pond start off? With a few clippings about a tax hike on oil and gas? How much is that going to cost the average punter?

Such a futtock of the first water, and yet it's "Ned's" job to put the best front on it he can, even if it requires more front than Anthony Horderns, Grace Brothers and Myers combined … but at least it's the last gobbet ...

Having waded through that guff, the pond is convinced that the planet will be swept away.

Sorry young 'uns, that's just the way it goes, with the Canavan caravan tilting at windmills and celebrating Adani, and the reptiles, rich, city-based whiners the lot of them, still whining on …

And as evidence of that, what better way than to bring in the dog botherer?

The pond is aware that the dog botherer is perceived as being both outrageous and dull, repetitive to the point of stultifying indigestion, but after a dose of "Ned", he's a cleansing emetic, because he puts the lie to almost every word "Ned" just scribbled ...

You see, there was "Ned" calling for a meaningless middle path, a careful walking on the moors lest SloMo fall into a bog hole, and straight way, the dog bothered is screaming for SloMo to defeat climate science madness.

The only comfort the pond can offer? At least the dog botherer's not quite as bloated … you get the flavour of the moron in fewer words ...

Ah, the good old wicked greenies. It's a handy distraction from all the rorting that's been revealed in the past few weeks, and the dog botherer lays on the distractions with a trowel … and jokes about soy lattes, which is whimsical for a mob based in Surry Hills ...

As always, when confronted with a shouting screed, all the pond can do is pluck out a gem and offer its delicious tang for reader delectation.

In this case, it's projection, pure and simple projection of the Donald kind ...

"There is a McCarthyist zeal to their gotcha questions … banal binary …"

Is there a better zealot in the house than the dog botherer? Is there any reptile who has harped on the same topic over and over again, until even the pond wearies of it, and in the process reducing everything to a banal binary. 

In this case, the binary is that limate science is bunk, but these days I must pretend at least a modicum of concern, by misquoting, abusing and offending Alan Finkel yet again.

Some days the pond bothers with a retort; some days the numbness runs so deep the pond can't be bothered …

In response to an article published across multiple news sources 2–4 December 2018, Dr Finkel wrote a letter to the editors to clarify his position on reducing Australia’s carbon emissions. His response, which was published by several of the newspapers, is available below.
Dear Editor,
On Monday 3 December you published an opinion piece by Andrew Bolt titled 'Less marching, more learning’* which included a reference to me 'admitting’ that we “could stop all Australia’s emissions – junk every car, shut every power station, put a cork in every cow – and the effect on the climate would still be 'virtually nothing’”.
Those are Andrew Bolt’s words, not mine, and they are a complete misrepresentation of my position. They suggest that we should do nothing to reduce our carbon emissions, a stance I reject, and I wish to correct the record.
On 1 June 2017 I attended a Senate Estimates hearing where Senator Ian Macdonald asked if the world was to reduce its carbon emissions by 1.3 per cent, which is approximately Australia’s rate of emissions, what impact would that make on the changing climate of the world. My response was that the impact would be virtually nothing but I immediately continued by explaining that doing nothing is not a position that we can responsibly take because emissions reductions is a little bit like voting, in that if everyone took the attitude that their vote does not count and no-one voted, we would not have a democracy.
Similarly, if all countries that have comparable carbon emissions took the position that they shouldn’t take action because their contribution to this global problem is insignificant, then nobody would act and the problem would continue to grow in scale.
Let me be clear, we need to continue on the path of reducing Australia’s carbon emissions. The fact remains that Australia’s emissions per person are some of the highest in the world.
In response to the recent IPCC report, I urged all decision makers – in government, industry, and the community – to listen to the science and focus on the goal of reducing emissions, while maximising economic growth. I was upfront about the magnitude of the task: it is huge and will require a truly global effort.
We’ve never been a nation to shy away from a challenge, or from shouldering our fair share of the responsibility for solving global issues. Sitting on our hands while expecting the rest of the world to do their part is simply not acceptable.
Dr Alan Finkel AO
*The article was also published as 'Kids march on climate hot air’, 'Uncouth youth protest their flawed arguments’, 'Some hard lessons’ and 'Climate change protest kids need to hit the books’. (here)

Some days the pond can be bothered, but to what avail? You see, there's two tedious gobbets of dog botherer drivel to go ...

What to say, except to note that bit of projection?

"…they are not interested in science-based, factual analysis of policy costs and benefits … virtue signalling."

Of course the pond is pleased it's added another coin to its "virtue signalling" jar, which is now much bigger than its Godwin's Law swear jar … but it has to be asked, given the wilful way that the dog botherer misrepresents scientists while blathering on about others not being interested in science-based factual analysis, … what's the fucking point?

It's like proposing we should listen to the Donald, and give him credit for lowering US fixed-energy emissions or promising to plant a trillion trees.

He's a snake oil salesman, that's what he does. He lies and lies, he makes false promises, and instead of a trillion trees, next thing you know, you end up with Trump University and bankrupt casinos.

What's it say about the simple-minded nature of the dog botherer that he should swallow this kind of snake oil, and expect a cure?

Or worse, think he can get others to swallow the diet Coke laced snake oil shit like he does?

...Since Trump first mentioned the initiative, Republican legislators have started drafting a bill to fund it and the founder of Salesforce launched a slick platform to manage the project all as part trying to position themselves as searching for climate solutions. That’s nice and all, but President Trump and Congressional Republicans’ other actions to-date show they don’t give a shit about trees or the climate crisis, really.

The administration has gone hard after conservation rules protecting forests. Last winter, Trump proposed opening the Tongass, America’s largest national forest and one of the world’s most important carbon sinks, to logging, mining, and development. If the administration succeeds in rolling back protections, some 9.5 millions of acres of Alaskan forest land could be lost.

Before that, Trump floated a policy proposal which would open 90 per cent of Utah’s national forests—that’s 4 million acres of trees—to deforestation. The administration quietly issued an executive order ahead of last year’s government shutdown to expand the logging on public lands, arguing that increased timber harvesting would help reduce wildfire risk.

All this doesn’t even get into Trump’s mangled understanding of forest management and the impact of climate change. And let’s not even start on how his regulatory rollbacks are making climate change worse, which in turn is weakening forests around the world and increasing the risk of catastrophic wildfires.

Since the One Trillion Trees initiative aims to plant, restore, or conserve a trillion trees, you’d think he’d start with just taking back some of his proposed rollbacks and putting policies in place to reduce carbon emissions. But I’m sure he won’t.

The Trump administration hasn’t been a friend to trees abroad, either. As the Brazilian Amazon burned last year due to widespread deforestation, Trump defended Brazil President Jair Bolsonaro. His administration made it possible for the logging, mining, and industrial agriculture industries to chop down far more trees and burn the forest. So Trump’s record on trees is pretty damn dismal…

…“The United States has become the number one producer of oil and natural gas in the world, by far,” he said. “With the tremendous progress we have made over the past three years, America is now energy independent, and energy jobs, like so many elements of our country, are at a record high.”

(Side note: that last part is actually very not true).

All those fossil fuels are driving catastrophic climate change (which he didn’t mention in his State of the Union address), perpetuate environmental injustice (which he also didn’t mention), and threatening access to clean air (do I even have to say it) and clean water (you already know). In the face of all that, touting the trillion trees program is a joke.

It’s no surprise that Trump is embracing the trillion trees initiative, because it doesn’t actually require the industries responsible for fuelling the climate crisis, like the oil, gas, and logging industries, to change their business models. That’s exactly what makes it a false solution. (in full here)

Waiter, a jugful of caring Adani to go, if you please ...

Never mind, there's just one gobbet to go, and the pond promises not to take the bait … not even if the zealot leads off with talk of "evangelists", because that's about as scientific as he can get ...

Climate madness? Yep, there's no doubt the planet's on its way to being comprehensively fucked, and since the dog botherer never got hauled up on charges for being a minor war criminal in the matter of Iraq, it still has a forlorn hope that some time in the future, he will be charged as a climate criminal, and dragged into the public square and made to don a coat fashioned from feathers and tar …a symbolic version of the punishment mindless zealots dished out while pretending they were the embodiment of truth and calm, reasoned debate …

And now as this entire piece has been cartoon free, it seems only fair to end with an immortal Rowe, reminding us of figures fiddling and the reason this government, with its paws so deep in the boondoggles, will never do anything about meaningful about climate science … not while they can fiddle the figures, splash about, and sort their time away ...(and with more immortal Rowe here).