The pond offers no excuse for continuing to read prattling Polonius, even if the reptiles like to hide him behind the arras early in the weekend.
Have faith, faithful followers of the Ming the merciless worshipper, they'll bring him out to centre stage to dazzle the eyes of the punters with his astonishing insights before some time late on the Sunday …
And why wouldn't they?
The dear old thing loves to keep watching the ABC while ranting at the screen … and so the pond must avoid many of the other reptile temptations on offer.
What a bunch of goodies there were this weekend, with Lloydie doing his usual round of fogging, clouding, and bemusing and raising saucy doubts and fears …
The pond knew immediately how to placate the reptile editorialist:
Follow the reptile climate science policies and all would be well!
Oh it's true that there are cockroaches swarming all over Queensland, boasting of their triumph, the cane toad is rampant, the reef on its way to ruin, a plague of locusts is overdue, flood and drought torment the north, sweet true blue dinkum coal is shipped everywhere to protect the national treasure, and the speaker in tongue's imaginary friend abandoned them in the hour of their try-scoring need, but it would be wrong of the pond to gloat …
Soon redemption will be at hand, a saviour will head galumphing to Canberra, or perhaps to Washington …
In awe of the carrot-top? Not so much in awe, as the carrot-top is in awe of himself? What joy it was to see his talk of Twitter ratings going up and down, down and up, up and down, while Twittering away to Gorka la la land…
Yes, we're all in awe of the great looking and smart, truly stable genius, unless we happen to be the bromancer, who happened this week, in inimitable bromancer style, to be in awe of Poland …
Re-Christianise it, bring back our imaginary friends, and all would be well, in a transformational, transubstantiational way ...
The pond thought for a nanosecond of abandoning Polonius, but then came to the end, and realised that the reptiles were now being forced to follow that old joke …
Sir, madam, or far right Xian PM loon …"what kind of journalist do you think I am?"
Far right Xian Polish PM: "We've already established that. Now we're just haggling over the price, and the cost of the airfare, and what frills you score."
But enough of the bromancer's love of an indecent proposal …and old jokes ...
Meanwhile, another temptation: Dame Slap was out and about, in full froth and fury …
How could the pond ignore that? The MAGA hat wearer was in full flight.
Well the pond couldn't, and indeed the pond felt compelled to make Dame Slap its Sunday meditation.
But meanwhile, the poor old dodderer, still besotted and watching the ABC - does he ever watch commercial television or listen to commercial radio, ever? - and jabbering on, demanded the pond's attention …how could the pond forsake him for sundry delights and idle temptations of a reptile kind?
Well the pond couldn't, and indeed the pond felt compelled to make Dame Slap its Sunday meditation.
But meanwhile, the poor old dodderer, still besotted and watching the ABC - does he ever watch commercial television or listen to commercial radio, ever? - and jabbering on, demanded the pond's attention …how could the pond forsake him for sundry delights and idle temptations of a reptile kind?
Dear sweet long absent lord, the pedantic numbnut is as weird as ever.
For a moment, then pond had thought there might be a shared moment of fear and loathing, because the pond refuses to watch Q and A - never has and never will - and yet there was the silly old Sydney Institute fogie, down out of the attic to advise the pond that up until the point he became enraged, the discussion had been informative!
As if all heat and no light was ever informative, and all the more so because Polonius himself was adding to the heat, and depriving his readership of light, when everyone knows that Muslim lives don't really matter, nor does that Chinese digital dictatorship concern us … the only real problem is that hapless Angus doesn't have the first fucking clue on how to implement it here …
For a moment, then pond had thought there might be a shared moment of fear and loathing, because the pond refuses to watch Q and A - never has and never will - and yet there was the silly old Sydney Institute fogie, down out of the attic to advise the pond that up until the point he became enraged, the discussion had been informative!
As if all heat and no light was ever informative, and all the more so because Polonius himself was adding to the heat, and depriving his readership of light, when everyone knows that Muslim lives don't really matter, nor does that Chinese digital dictatorship concern us … the only real problem is that hapless Angus doesn't have the first fucking clue on how to implement it here …
Well played Angus. Soon enough you'll outpace Malware in fucking everything up!
But enough of muddling through, and so back to the comment counter, still using a classic Chinese abacus to get agitated about the final word …
Indeed, indeed, the Commonwealth of Australia presided over universal suffrage, including votes for women, and including the right of Aboriginal people to vote … an astonishingly advanced position for 1901, and no doubt a surprise to some.
Oh wait, Polonius is using "universal" in the terra nulls - or Virginia Trioli morning breakfast "really unique" - sense of the word …
Never mind, the pond felt grateful to be reminded of the paternalistic condescension and care exuded by Australians when it came to the dusky, under-privileged people around them and up north …
Why just reminding Faruqi of his past, pointing out that he was really a pesky, difficult furriner, or at least the son thereof, was a kindly indication of Polonius's inclination to benevolent prattle …
Naturally the lad was in urgent need of a Polonial history lesson, and if he didn't like it here, couldn't understand the kindly ways of the ruling Polonial class, why, he could always bugger off back to his home turf …
Naturally the lad was in urgent need of a Polonial history lesson, and if he didn't like it here, couldn't understand the kindly ways of the ruling Polonial class, why, he could always bugger off back to his home turf …
Oh it warmed the pond's Tamworthian heart … as Polonius did a pivot and found a new form of outrage, the use of "colonial dudes" to remind the upstart furriner that this was God's own country, and he was bloody lucky to be here, and damn it, there's nothing better than statue worship ...
Why that line was almost as good as any that emerged from the very stable genius this week.
"Modern Australia was not created by dudes"!!
In his own inimitable way, Polonius had done it again …he'd evoked a timeless meme …
And most relevant and moving of all for a Polonial historian, always returning to the past and ancestor worship and his love of Ming the Merciless and the many white men who litter history …
And now before preparing for Dame Slap on a Sunday, there's just time to remind papal devotees that it is still possible to become enlightened by the latest papal decrees, despite the invidious paywall …
Oh wait, the dog botherer's fixed all that …
Forget it, forget it, the pond is out of time, there's no need for Polonial balance here, but in the interests of balance, a Kudelka ...
And here's the pond's favourite Rowe of the week, though some will prefer another delight amongst the many to be found here ...
Oh here we go again - Polonius: "...the invitation [Morrison to star on Q&A] was declined and the Coalition increased its seats and votes."
ReplyDeleteNow let us just note that in comparison with Turnbull's 2016 election result, Morrison's party - the Liberal Party - actually declined its seats - it lost one (Abbott's). It was the Liberal National Party (Qld) that actually won two seats to give the LNP a net gain of just one seat. The LNP also saw a drop of 0.6% in primary preferences, though a gain of all of 1.17% in Two Party Preferred.
Really, if the LNP hadn't been able to regain a few seats lost in the disastrous by-elections of 2018, it would clearly not have gained a lower house majority.
That's one hell of a "miracle", don't you think ?
"...when everyone knows that Muslim lives don't really matter,"
More than that, DP: any study of human history - or at least the 4000 or so years for which we have some kind of records - would indicate that human lives have never mattered. The one thing that humanity has been unfailingly good at throughout the entirety of history, is slaughtering its own species.
And as an example, we can thank the Bromancer for a reminder of the Warsaw Uprising. But not, of course, about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising - nobody wants to remember that.
Just a bit of an aside - but you know how central "identity politics" is to the reptile catechism:
ReplyDeleteEzra Klein in Vox on July 12: "...conservatism isn’t, for most people, an ideology. It’s a group identity".
Slow on the uptake, some 'commentators', aren't they. Isn't it now, and hasn't it been for millenia, that the followers of any "ideology" automatically form a "group identity" (personally I prefer "identity group" as the descriptor).
Can anybody instance any serious ideology that has attracted a few hundred or more followers and hasn't thereby been transmuted into a "group identity" ? Even the Flat Earth Society has become a "group identity".
Of course it isn't quite that simple: some identity groups coalesce around both policies and leaders, often independently. I recall one commentator relating how his father finally, after years of devoted followership, rejected Dick Nixon because he 'swore' (on some of the WH tapes). To me that always sounded a bit like a rationalisation for rejecting somebody that he was just looking for a way to refudiate anyway.
I wonder what rationalisations people will pick on to refudiate Trump.