Being deeply superficial - choke me in the shallow waters before I get too deep - the pond loves an irony, and rarely needs to look beyond the headlines ...
Like these two on the same day in Fairfax ...
I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know, if you know what I know, joke me in the shallow waters before I get to sleep ...
Okay, it's just another misheard song lyric, and what a twit the walri man is, in a deeply personal way, but how about this wonderful juxtaposition this day?
Well yes, every redundancy is a personal trauma, but the pond didn't notice the reptiles shedding crocodile tears about the forced redundancies at the ABC, SBS or the CSIRO for that matter. Instead there was dancing in the streets and in the headlines.
There's another reason at least one reptile deserves a sacking, the one that trotted out the line "SBS mocks commercial job losses."
Commercial? That's the very reason people are being made redundant, the resolutely uncommercial and unappetising and unappealing failed business model the reptiles are pursuing, and continue to pursue ...
Dross and hardline lumpen gruel, they aren't goers, dog botherer apologist lackey ...
Besides, if we can't have an open discussion about the uncommercial business model of the lizards of Oz, then we have no freedom of speech or liberty or the capacity for undergraduate humour.
No doubt the discharged reptiles can go on to do useful and honourable things for society and themselves, which is more than can be said of the remnants still defiant in the bunker - though on the pond's personal experience, some of News Corp's former employees are inclined to take the bullying culture out into the wider world ... or are so battered that they need some extended personal recovery time ...
Just suck it up dog botherer, suck it up ... he that lives by the Murdochian sword inevitably dies by it ...
Meanwhile, speaking of headlines, the monarchist denialist Devine scores a double today ...
But enough of the Devine's love for the monarchy and climate denialism, come together in perfect symmetry, because it always bemuses the pond when a professional bigot steps up to the plate in search of "real bigots" ...
Yes, that piece turns out to be a heroic defence of the tranquil political aims of Reclaim Australia ...
Oh joke me in the shallow waters, before I gently weep ...
Inter alia the Devine wonders why Jacqui Lambie gets away with her rants, while everybody pays attention to the professional bigotry of folk like the Devine and the RA bigots.
Oh maybe she didn't quite put it that way, but according to the Devine, the explanation's simple - it's because Lambie is against Tony Abbott ...
It doesn't occur to the Devine - professional bigots are inclined to be as thick as a bit of robust four be two - that Lambie goes hand in glove with Reclaim Australia ...
That must be a spoof, surely it's a spoof - the pond found it on twitter with no link back - but what a lovely bit of work ...but, ah, at last the war on Xmas and Xians is warming up ...
But enough of all this deep stuff, let's get really shallow, and back to that Pope cartoon at the top of the page, which sets the tone for the morning's follies ...
The pond was inspired by James Massola's report Angry Liberal MPs question Tony Abbott's 'resistance movement' and Monkey Pod lunches ... (with forced video).
Yes, the rats lurking behind the arras actually meet in a room with a handsome timber table made of monkey-pod, a tropical hardwood tree, and apparently a gift of the Northern Territory government ...
In the past fortnight, conservative MPs including Mr Abbott, Kevin Andrews, Andrew Nikolic and Michael Sukkar have spoken out on national security issues such as Mr Dutton's exclusion from the national security committee and the need for Australia to consider "boots on the ground" in Syria.
At the same time Mr Abbott, Mr Dutton, Mr Nikolic and Mr Sukkar all attended the latest lunch on Tuesday, with the former prime minister bringing cake for his colleagues.
Let them eat cake!
It was the comments that gave the pond the chance to display a wry, ironic smile:
The overwhelming view of those MPs is that, as one minister put it, Mr Abbott's supporters were "hanging on to the last vestiges of the Abbott days, when conservatives thought they could do or say whatever they liked".
"Government is actually functioning well again after the last two years, we are actually focusing on things that matter. Some of their comments on national security show an enormous naivety. We aren't concerned by these clowns."
A second minister, who backed Mr Abbott in the spill, said that Mr Turnbull should have kept more conservatives on the frontbench when he instituted a major reshuffle after taking power but that, regardless, "the reality is this has happened and most people have moved on".
"These are people who have time on their hands and they are agitating. Tony is in a zone where he can't accept what has happened, but the reality is, his destiny was in his own hands. For those who supported him, who are pragmatic, the reality is now Malcolm and wishful thinking will not change that."
A third asked: "How long will it take for Tony to realise he isn't coming back?"
And a fourth minister said there was, in effect, an "Abbott government in exile" and that "they actually believe the public wants Abbott back".
Meanwhile, the lunches in the so-called Monkey Pod room, which started years ago at Timmy's Chinese restaurant in Canberra's inner south soon after Kevin Rudd became prime minister and originally included conservatives such as Bronwyn Bishop, Sophie Mirabella, Alby Schultz, Don Randall, Mr Dutton and, on occasion, Mr Abbott, have set Liberal MPs talking.
After the Coalition won government, the semi-regular Tuesday sitting week lunch was for some time held in Ms Bishop's office while she was Speaker.
One MP familiar with the lunches said the attendees included hardcore supporters of Mr Abbott and was "underground", but that some of the younger MPs who had attended recent lunches had been surprised that "they were talking about the resistance".
"The young ones remember how shit it was," the MP said, referring to the former Abbott government's political misfortunes.
The resistance, the maquis, the white mouse, the mouse that roared ...
Naturally the pond turned to the reptiles to provide this revolutionary movement with requisite gravitas as they hastily tried to catch up with Fairfax and assigned the bouffant one to do the job...
Oh yes, spill the beans bouffant one ...
Indeed, indeed, it's as if no one is allowed to be as stupid as Cory or as George Christensen ...
But back to the moaning, whining, keening, carping conspirators and plotters intent on comforting the delusional and the deluded ...
Actually bouffant one, the last thing the Coalition needs is Tony Abbott in parliament, but you and your fellow reptiles can't bring yourselves to say it, can you ... as the cleansing and the cleaning out goes on ...
If Abbott stays on there'll be much more monkey business, but if the reptiles can't have their boots on the ground war, at least they can have Canberra games for their failing business model ...
Well it's true that the pond misses the old days of enormous stupidity and mind-numbing slogans ...
... but only a cartoonist could see the fun of having him still gibbering and jabbering from the trees ...
Superheroes, not superheros.
ReplyDeleteGee, watching Turnbull this morning, you'd swear domestic violence, and not national security, was the government's priority.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of executing known terrorists and war criminals, perhaps we should start with the lying rodent?
ReplyDelete