We stopped the boats of climate scientists ...

With the fearless leader in all sorts of trouble, including but not limited to leadership tilts, cabinet reshuffles, Terrorists breaking ranks with talk of restlessness, Pacific islanders, exotic shirts, and strange stares at Mearesy's camera, it was way past time for the reptiles to sound the alert, create mischief and uncertainty, arouse saucy doubts and fears, and solve the problem of climate change all in a single keyboard stroke by that master of the art, Graham Lloyd:

Dangerous climate change?

What tosh.

Lloydie is on hand to sort it all out:

You see, you bloody alarmists, with your short term climate scares and your inadequate science and your blather about dire consequences.

The southern ocean is on hand to sort out everything out.

What's that you say? More carbon dioxide might lead to even more fear-mongering about ocean acidification?

Oh you nervous nellies with your softening shells, harden up or better still, why not turn into some kind of polychaete worm and frolic freely amongst cooling CO2 vents.

Sit back and relax, and after all the soothing noises, what's the bet that Lloyd will drop in a couple of lines from others, just to show that he's really terribly balanced ...

Oh by the way, the GWPF is a UK think tank funded by climate denialist Nigel Lawson - you can Desmog it here.

It is therefore an utterly reliable source of scientific excellence, and where the reptiles go to for their excellent science reporting.

While the pond appreciates the effort, it is equally happy to report that it's thankfully entirely unnecessary, because the PM's office has come up with an excellent response in relation to climate science, and there's not a hint of that dreadful "crap" word in it:

And thanks to a correspondent, this just in: Peter Dutton overhead joking about rising sea levels in Pacific Island nations:

Noting that today's meeting on Syrian refugees was running a bit late, Mr Dutton remarked that it was running to "Cape York time", to which Mr Abbott replied "we had a bit of that up in Port Moresby". Mr Dutton then added "time doesn't mean anything when you're about to have water lapping at your door". 
The Immigration Minister later described the exchange as a "private conversation". 
It was held beneath a large television microphone on a three-metre-long boom pole above the MPs' heads.

Laugh, well you've just got to laugh at the thought of all those islanders running around while the water laps at their doors ...

Oh and here's another item found on Twitter. The pond only runs it because it irritates the reptiles so ...