In which the pond marvels at the way a poodle can be a Pinocchio with a very pointed nose ...

WTF?

That's not a newspaper, that's a comic strip ...

Why did they feel the need to keep the banner visible? Because the punters know it's just a gigantic comic strip full of commentariat nonsense?

Well it is full of comedians. Today's there this immortal effort from Niki S.:

The pond immediately began to savour other headlines. Better a BLT or bacon and eggs than being Jewish, or a Beef curry way better than Hindu cow worship.

Is it being offensive or stupid that Islamics give up their no alcohol rule and that will, in due course, help them avoid terror grooming? Who knows, and who knows what she wrote, because the pond silently tiptoed by ...

And there was the bromancer beavering away ...

It embodies our nature? You mean, dumb fuck lemmings incompetently charging at rows of machine guns and rifles at the Nek, and being mown down in an abattoir of death?

And there's nothing we can do about it, like do some decent planning, make sure the plan runs smoothly, get the big guns and the men in some kind of synch, and avoid massive casualties, because that sort of thinking is alien to our nature? Our nature is to be complete dummies?

Who knows what the doofus actually wrote, because the pond felt the need to walk on by ...

And then there was the Bolter in the Terror ...

Uh huh, because that idiot George Bush did such a wonderful job, V for Victory and all that, and thank the long absent lord, the mess in Iraq is a testament to his vision.

Who knows what the idiot wrote, because the pond was deterred from reading it just by contemplating that smug, smirking visage for a nanosecond.

And yesterday, let's not forget the dog consorter's latest bout of climate science:

Yes, yes, without bothering to read it, since the pond doesn't usually get its science from idiots, the pond added the header to other great moments in climate science:

By golly, he's an inspiration to the troops. Someone should put him in charge of planning for the Nek:

Who'd have thought he was such a big proponent of Netflix? And let's not forget this:

That compendium of twittering twittish tweets is, of course, just an excuse for the pond to run the latest devilish Popery, and more essential Pope here:

Of course the always prescient Pope is just drawing attention to the news that the poodle's imitation of Pinocchio has some basis in fact, because either the poodle or Paul Johnson, VC of UWA, is lying.

How naked and blatant was the lying?

Well anyone who watched Lateline last night would have marvelled at the depth of the lies, and the consummate skill of the lying:

A senior academic from the University of Western Australia (UWA) has confirmed the Abbott Government originally approached the university to set up a policy centre directed by controversial figure Bjorn Lomborg. 
Dr Lomborg is a controversial figure in the scientific world, having attracted controversy in the past for suggesting the dangers of climate change are overstated and that alleviating poverty is a greater priority. 
"The Federal Government approached the university," Paul Johnson Vice Chancellor of UWA said. "It (the Government) said: 'Would the university be interested in considering setting up a centre to study long-term development goals both global and Australia?'" 
A spokesman for Education Minister Christopher Pyne earlier told Fairfax that "the Government is contributing around a third of the total cost of the centre based on a proposal put forward by the University of Western Australia and Dr Lomborg's organisation". (more at the ABC here).

And what do you know, but today someone has taken the trouble to leak to Fairfax some university talking points:

Since the centre was announced, there has been speculation, including among university staff members, about how the centre was conceived and how it came to be funded. 
Last week a spokesman for Education Minister Christopher Pyne said: "The government is contributing around a third of the total cost of the centre based on a proposal put forward by the University of Western Australia and Dr Lomborg's organisation." 
But in talking points circulated to UWA staff members, David Harrison, UWA' s head of corporate and government affairs, provides a suggested answer to any students or colleagues to the question: "How did the Australia Consensus Centre come to UWA?" 
"UWA was approached by the federal government," the talking points state. 
"We saw it as a good opportunity, not only for the university's reputation as a global leader in higher education, but also as a way we could make a positive difference in addressing some of the biggest challenges facing the world today." 
The university would not respond to questions on Wednesday, but Mr Harrison did not back away from the statements contained in the email, including that the establishment of the centre was a suggestion from the government. 
"We stand by the points raised in the talking points," Mr Harrison told Fairfax Media. 
Fairfax Media understands that government ministers, following discussions with Dr Lomborg, had the idea of bringing his methodology to Australia and approached UWA about hosting the centre. The university then submitted a proposal to the government that was accepted. (here).

Of course this doesn't help the university explain why it was so desperate for dollars that it thought it was a good idea to sup with the devil, though it does add something to the Four Corners' story on how pathetic universities have become in relation to academic standards when a might dollar or two hoves into view ...

Degrees of deception? Yes and degrees of stupidity, as if blaming the poodle for coming up with the bright idea of a Consensus Centre, and lying about it, somehow gets the Uni of WA off the Consensus Hook ...

LINTON BESSER: Universities are now stuck in an arms race. Students and standards are merely collateral damage. 
BARMAK NASSIRIAN: At the end of the day, Australian universities are governed by Australians. And they really need to make a decision whether they're willing to undermine the credibility - international credibility - of credentials they manufacture in the name of more business. 
 ZENA O'CONNOR: Education is not an industry. And this is the mistake that the universities are making. Education is not an industry. 
KERRY O'BRIEN: Of course, these same academics, these same universities, these same courses are processing Australian students as well. Are they somehow untouched by the kinds of activities and concerns revealed tonight? Given what's at stake, it's unfortunate the vice-chancellors of the three universities featured in our story - Sydney, Western Sydney and the Australian Catholic University - couldn't front up in person and face the obvious questions.

Indeed, but the Vice Chancellor of the Australian Catholic University could turn up in print at the lizard Oz berating upper house politicians as pygmies in need of an education.

Well played Peter Craven ...

Never mind, the pond got a little distracted there for a moment, when really we should be admiring the efforts of Fairfax in tracking down all the sorts of Lomborg love that can be found in the coalition.

And then there was Lomborg quoted in Tony Abbott's Battlelines and Lomborg mingling with Bishop:

But this is hardly surprising. After all the reptiles have been in the grip of the mad infatuation known as Lomborg love for years, faithfully republishing his pieces, and naturally charging for them, even as the desperate propagandist left them hanging around on the intertubes for free ...

And we already know that the Pinocchio Poodle is a shameless liar, always willing to fetch and carry for his masters.

But if Paul Johnson thinks he can just blame it all on the federal government, surely he's mistaken?

It must have all seemed like sweetness and light and a good deal when the University's publicity machine early in April churned out New economic prioritisation research centre at UWA:

The University of Western Australia and the Copenhagen Consensus Center today announced the establishment of a new policy research centre at the UWA Business School. 
The new centre will focus on applying an economic lens to proposals to achieve good for Australia, the region and the world, prioritising those initiatives which produce the most social value per dollar spent.
The new Australia Consensus Centre will be based at UWA but have global reach. It will help frame the debate on aid, agriculture and regional issues and focus on smart, long-term priorities.

And so on:

The cooperation between UWA and the Copenhagen Consensus Center will also mean that the President of Copenhagen Consensus, Dr Bjorn Lomborg, will spend time in Perth and across Australia to encourage a conversation on priorities for aid and development and the future prosperity of Australia. 
UWA Vice-Chancellor Professor Paul Johnson said: "The Australia Consensus Centre will become the go-to place for useful economic research to inform the national and international debate, building on UWA's many academic strengths."
Dr Lomborg said: "The Australia Consensus Centre is an amazing opportunity to showcase the power of economic research to help inform the national and international conversation on setting the most effective priorities."

Yes, it was as if Lomborg and climate had never rubbed their noses together.

Which suggests that, if you want to sell your snake oil, first find the quisling who will hang your shingle on the tent ...

And that way you'll get a scandal that will keep on giving through the years ...

(More Matt Golding here).

Which just leaves time to pay attention to First Dog, at the Graudian here, noting the joy of Tony Abbott indulging in yet another "Billy goat but" routine ...

You know, some of my best friends are gay, but ... or some of my best friends are Jewish, but ... and some Islamics are okay, but they don't drink beer, and some climate scientists seem genuine, but so do most Satanists, and so on and on, for as many Billy goat butts as you can manage ...

Ah yes. And no doubt at some point we'll be reading the Bolter denouncing Leopold II of Belgium ... and the behaviour of the Dutch in their colonial rule ... and at that point, perhaps you should have a beer, because the bacon clearly provokes quirky dreams ...