In which a depressed pond orders a straight double shot of ice ...

(Above: and more Pope here).

Now the pond, living in a glass house, is perhaps the wrong person to pick up the first stone, but trust the Canberra Papist, whom the pond routinely worships, to make the obvious point, as everyone falls over keening and mourning for a man who knew the value of silence and of choosing his words with thought and care (yes, even the pond knew that about the man) ...

But sad to say, it doesn't matter how many panes of glass you smash, the happily rabid, cheerfully, self-admittedly ideological reptiles are on hand to blather about the game of life.

Look at this list, which, with the short six place whirling splash of doom at the top of the page now abandoned, has now grown so long on the front page, that the cornucopia gives the pond an almost vertiginous sense of dizziness:

Strewth, what a bloody long scroll.

And look, there's the comfortably well of Henry - there's a hole in the bucket says Henry - Ergas going on about the need to punish the pensioners, and there's Dame Sloan with lash in hand, and there's that bloody poseur and imitator, prattling Polonius himself, attempting to claim the pond's loon status, by blathering for the zillionth time about the ABC. Loon, heal thyself ...

Does Polonius have the first clue how his constant harping and carry-on, his anal navel-gazing and naked obsession mean there's a 'loon' sign tattooed to everything he scribbles?

And there's the bromancer getting agitated about the axis of weevils yet again, because he so loves Netanyahu, and because, well because the Iranians are pure evil ...

Which makes this little splash resonate with the pond in a strange way:

Now wait, there's a logic there somewhere, if the pond can just work it out ...

The Iranian regime is despicable and untrustworthy and certain to start a war in the middle east in the not too distant future, so what better way to demonstrate that Australia is a caring, humanitarian country than by asking them to take back hundreds of Iranians ...

Well it must make sense to someone ...

Can we expect the bromancer to address this complicated issue of hypocrisy? Can the pond tap dance while chewing gum and rubbing its belly?

Meanwhile, the pond is tired, and shortly to head off to Sydney airport, which is guaranteed to induce some kind of seizure, so please, send in your own examples of reptile madness and mayhem.

The pond will just have to settle in the interim for a stupid man scribbling stupid things:

Yes, the Bolter is so dedicated to conflict, so keen to invoke hate, that he makes the simple mistake of assuming that people who nominate no religion, agnosticism, atheism, humanism or rationalist must perforce be labelled anti-Christian.

Now the pond can modestly say that some of its friends are Christian, some cultist, and some Calathumpian ...

It's only when you read the Bolter that you realise everyone has to be placed in a confrontational, oppositional box. It's either the Bolter's way, or no way at all.

If you happen to have no beliefs, or different beliefs, by definition you must be anti-Bolter,or anti-Christian or anti-Calathumpian ...

The world is strictly binary and in opposition and if you vote greenie, you must be by definition, pagan, godless and heathen ...

What makes it funny is that when he's not speaking to the Christian mob, or should that be sucking up shamelessly to them, the Bolter purports a certain form of agnosticism, and draws the line at certain kinds of miracles of the Xian kind ... yes, the pond has heard him speak on the radio on a trip to Sydney airport, which shows what a dangerous journey it is ...

Yet when he wants to go the full Xian suck, there he is, blathering about the faith for the godless ... because, you know, being rational and humanistic is so, so dangerous ...

The point, it seems, is that everyone must constantly disagree and be anti-, and it's not possible to tolerate other beliefs.

Now the pond has often made clear its view that religions and cults are as useful as a belief in Santa Claus, but at the same time, the pond once believed in Santa Claus, and is still capable of talking to Santa believers without shattering their dreams and hopes and desires (but hey, let's see how they take to Bad Santa later in life ...)

What a stupid, aggressive, confrontational man this professional defamer is ...

But hey, you don't get a TV show if you also don't know how to fawn and cringe and flatter, and by golly the Bolter knows how to do that. Yep, the old Greece ploy cops another airing this very morn:

Ah Greece, with bonus Asia, a bit like the pond's parents persuading the pond to down the vegies because of the starving children up north ...

There's something child-like about the Bolter and his mistress Gina, always rattling the cage, always with the boogeyman, and yet all because iron ore prices have slumped, as if the naked self-interest isn't on view for all to see ...

If matters are so bad, how about Gina donate 13 billion to the nation and keep a humble billion for herself? Do a Bill Gates ... problematic as that might be at times ...

Or better still, if we have no room or time or money for indulgences, and frippery, how about we get rid of the professional blatherers who contribute nothing but fear and loathing?

Where to start? Well there's a certain program on network 10 ... or come to think of it, there's network 10 itself ...

Meanwhile, the pond suddenly realised where the Bolter's logic came from ...

So much for rolling up his sleeves and doing it himself.

What ever happened to the rugged barbed wire and stockings method of fixing things? Why the reliance on weekend moderators? Is taking a stroll through the comments section of the Bolter's musings too much like cleaning a latrine in the army?

Well there you have it in one ... it's slack arses like the Bolter that will produce Greece down under ... he needs to spend a week in an Apple factory to discover what real work is ...

But finally the pond had studiously refrained from acknowledging the return of Chairman Rudd. It was heroic, but up to now the seawall has held.

The talk, for anyone who remotely cares, is here at TED2015 and bizarrely it's heading towards half a million views.

The pond didn't understand why it existed, or why the pond was so faint-hearted until John Birmingham came along with Kevin Rudd's worst comeback since his last one.

Since we remain mired in the sticky mess of the Abbott era, it hardly seems fair that the man who did so much to bring us here should turn up looking so well pleased with himself. Mr Rudd appears in his TED Talk looking like a nicely steamed pork bun, white, fluffy, soft around the edges and perhaps a little heavier than you were expecting.

Yes, a sticky pork bun!

That's why the pond had held its silence, it hadn't thought of the right, just and so equivalent object and metaphor ...

Two or three minutes spent condensing China's grievances with the West into a couple of sound bites were very TED-like and even useful. But then we veered into the danger zone of the 'Thucydides Trap' and Rudd's recommendations for frameworks of "constructive realism for a common purpose" and superfans in the audience were suddenly crying out, "Do programmatic specificity, Kevern!" It might not have mattered that fully half the talk wasn't about US-China relations, but rather the Return of the Conqueror, if the Conqueror had been even a little bit chastened by the undeniable fact of the exile which occasioned his return. It seemed for one brief shining moment that he might repent, when telling his north American audience that he had a little experience back home with "how you try to bring together two peoples who frankly haven't had a whole lot in common in the past". 
Was this it? Was he about to explain why he trashed two Labor governments? Was he about to seek forgiveness from the Julia Gillard and all those disappointed Labor voters?

Well you know the answer to that one, and without enduring twenty minutes of posing, pontificating tedium, but once again it reminded the pond of the virtue of silence ...

Rudd will never be able to admit what he did, or how he fucked up, not just himself but the government, and so began the rise of Abbott, and all the rest that's followed.

Hubris is still his daily diet ...

And so it's off to the airport, with this from Leunig ringing in the eyeballs ... and more Leunig here.

Doesn't matter which one ...

Which brings the pond to a final quote, this time in relation to Cate McGregor, who seems to be popping up all over the place, though it only involves quoting Jenny Noyes here:

Knowing someone on a personal level is powerful. They become more than just their minority-group label: they are a living, breathing, feeling human. Unfortunately though, the twisted interplay between bigotry, power and privilege means that personal friendships – however powerful their potential – often fail to influence broader-reaching decisions, policies and political stances based in ideology (especially when that ideology is deeply rooted in the subjugation of marginalised groups). Too often, "I'm not racist, but [insert racist comment]" is accompanied by "I have black friends". Too often, "I'm not a misogynist, I love my the women in my life" is accompanied by "as long they behave as I think women should". Too often, the powerful draw on their 'moderate Muslim' acquaintances while in the same breath whipping up fear and hatred of the entire Muslim community. Too often, the LGBTI friend or family member fails to convince the politician who could make a difference that equal rights are worth upsetting the status quo. No matter how strong the friendship. What's worse though, is when that friendship is trotted out in service of powerful individuals and groups who nevertheless align themselves with an ideology that is fundamentally opposed to ending discrimination and injustice – whether it's against women, LGBTI Australians, Aboriginals, refugees, other non-whites, non-Christians, people with disabilities, or the poor. 
Tony Abbott swept into politics on a purpose-built Wedge Politics surfboard, riding a wave of fear and hatred all the way to the top. The fact that he stood by his good mate Cate McGregor when she transitioned is, if anything, only a sign of the rank hypocrisy of his politics.

Indeed. The pond will have that ice now bar tender. And make it a straight double shot ...