In which the wretched reptiles distract the pond from the business of seasonal lolling with idle 'leet chatter about Cook and Abbott ...

The pond made the fatal mistake of getting distracted by the reptiles.

Poor things, doing the hard yards, taking the ball up the middle, down in the boiler room, shovelling coal into the steam engine, sweat on the brow, a thousand more acres to plough before tea.

And look at the result. It's going to be a hard year, all hands on deck, steady Team, wait 'till you see the whites of their eyes, form the square, unjam the Gatling, and so on.

And sure enough, there was a lone Ancient Mariner, toiling in the vineyard while the pond lolled at leisure:

But what's this?

Say what? Joseph Cook? The pond had to look again:

The hapless reptiles are so desperate they'd celebrate Abbott overtaking Cook? Surely there's irony at work here?

Yep, it was a set-up:

The old double dissolution shibboleth still lurks in the heart of the reptiles.

As if the man who'd sell anything but his arse for power would take the risk... ever desperate to cling to the precioussss ...

But there's still something astonishingly rich in the reptiles comparing Abbott to Joseph Cook.

Cook was one of the most confused and useless politicians ever to grace the Australian political stage.

The ADB has a tidy summary here,  and while others can speak in his favour, the pond will, in its usual selective and biased way, merely quote one sentence:

A harsh critic might say that when in office Cook saved the taxpayers' money at the expense of the class from which he had risen, and when in opposition he was an unprincipled opportunist.

Tony Abbott and Joseph Cook ... unprincipled opportunists together, and the pond owes that holiday thought to the reptiles ...

Well it's back to lolling, but not before noting that the wondrous David Pope has also stayed at the helm over the break, in a bid to become the pond's official national treasure of 2015. And more Pope here, and don't miss the one with the Santa sleigh ...