In which, things being serious, the pond keeps laughing ...

Of course the pond was disturbed.

Piracy constitutes a criminal offence, with criminal sanctions. Heavy fines, and a possible term of imprisonment up to five years?

Strange, that information comes courtesy of the Australian Government.

Could the Australian Government's website, Counterfeiting and Piracy, be full of horse shit?

Or is it George Brandis that is full of it?

Speaking on ABC Melbourne that afternoon, Attorney-General George Brandis moved to hose down the commissioner's comments, stating that the AFP isn't interested in chasing down copyright infringers. 
 "I think that when Commissioner Colvin said that, I think what he said was misunderstood," Brandis said. 
 "The important point to make, of course, is that copyright infringement is a civil wrong; it is not a criminal offence. So all we are concerned about here is law enforcement, so for that very practical reason, there is no relation between the internet piracy issue and data retention." (here)

And is Malcolm Turnbull also full of it?

"The Government's introducing this to address vital needs of national security and law enforcement, not copyright," he said. "Copyright is essentially a civil matter...we will be using it for criminal matters. 
 "The Telecommunications Interception Act makes it very clear that we can only do this to enforce criminal laws. Copyright breaches are civil wrongs and that's not what we're interested in." 
Malcolm Turnbull also stepped away from the piracy quagmire saying the Commissioner's comments were "not well understood" and that, while he does "not condone copyright infringement at all," the AFP and ASIO had better things to do besides pursuing 'illegal' downloaders. 
"The Government's not going after people who infringe copyright online. That is a matter for the rights holders," he said. "The AFP and ASIO frankly are not interested in whether you are illegally downloading a copy of Game of Thrones. That's a bad thing to do but I can tell you our National Security Agencies have got other things on their mind." (here)

It seems pretty clear cut. Either that website is fucked, or George and big Mal don't have a fucking clue, and are indeed, full of it ...

Of course at the moment the federal government elects to treat piracy, especially of a domestic individual use kind, as a civil matter, but then there's the matter of the TPP currently being negotiated in furtive secrecy.

Wikileaks belled that cat a year ago, as can be read in Outrage after TPP leak reveals piracy criminalisation, and there's been no indication since then that the Australian government has done anything other than bow and scrape to the United States ...

Here we go, here we go:

And then came the belated acknowledgment by that hypocrite and fraud that even in the civil treatment of the crime, the metadata might come in handy:

WILL OCKENDEN: But the Government not using metadata to fight internet piracy is one thing, the rights holders themselves using the metadata trove to expose customer details is an entirely different scenario. 
Mr Turnbull admitted as much this morning, saying that under legislation, stored metadata would be accessible by third parties via a court order. That could mean that copyright holders could sue ISPs for customer information, forcing them to reveal which user was responsible for a download, opening up the user to claims for damages. And lawyers have warned that copyright claims are just one example of metadata being possibly used in civil cases. (here)

Turnbull has long tried to walk both sides of the street - between consumers agitated by the subscription gouging Foxtel monopoly, price gouging by the likes of Apple, delays in releasing content by the majors - and the concerns of content providers.

His blog post Copyright, the Internet and Piracy is a classic of handwringing and pandering to all comers. But you don't have to be a greenie to nod in agreement reading Piracy cat is out of the data-retention bag: Ludlam.

The pond is always pleased to see pirated discs on display no more than five hundred metres from the plods at Newtown police station, but Turnbull is now going to endure a world of pain as he replaces the demonic Stephen "let's have a gigantic internet filter" Conroy as the go-to demonic figure of intertubes evil ... because he's not going to be able to unwind the Foxtel monopoly or the price gouging by the majors, but they're going to be able to pursue the criminal bandits making off with their goods using the means provided by Brandis and Turnbull ...

Meanwhile, on another planet, having come up short, what's left for the reptiles? Well there's always the smear:

Yes, but she'd already said she'd made mistakes. Where's the criminal charges? All that money for a Royal Commission, which comes up short?

Of course the reptiles could have run the header "Gillard pronounced innocent", but even then they'd probably have settled for "Gillard gets away with it".

Oh never mind, because meanwhile on another planet, even further out in the galaxy:

Yes, the reptiles are wildly excited, in a state verging on ecstasy.

On any given day, the reptiles will pen a pious piece about the absurdity of governments picking winners and the nonsense of paying polluters not to pollute, and let the free market and market instruments rule, but now the news is all good:

The Coalition will lock in key ­elements of its Direct Action ­strategy for seven years, ensuring that Bill Shorten will be unable to unwind emissions-reduction ­contracts even if Labor scraps the policy. The Direct Action legislation contains provisions for contracts for emissions-reduction activities which Labor would have to honour should it win office. 
 The Clean Energy Regulator is also expected to have the power to issue contracts for longer periods, perhaps up to 20 years. “This is a system that is ­designed for 20 or 30 years,’’ Environment Minister Greg Hunt said. He said the government would achieve its 5 per cent emissions reduction target. (No link to Labor locked in to Direct Action contracts, whatever its policy, it would only lead to a begging letter from the paupers of the press).

So we're fucked for up to twenty years?

Well naturally that led to an outburst of triumphalism from that epic knob polisher:

By golly, do the knobs Shanahan polishes ever get sore?

What a pity he didn't read to the end of that Sid Maher piece about the clowns building a thirty year Reich of contracts:

Climate Institute chief executive John Connor said that despite some improvements the pollution policy would more likely prove a millstone than a milestone for the government. 
 “The agreements with the crossbenchers have made improvements, but haven’t established a credible climate policy with a reasonable chance of achieving even the lowest level of Australia’s 5-25 per cent 2020 target range, let alone the deeper decarbonisation of the economy that will be needed beyond 2020,” he said. “Australia has now moved from a system where some of our biggest polluters started to pay for their pollution reductions to one where taxpayers will pay for those reductions ...”

Yes, the Abbott government has managed its bit for inequality and inequity and a sublimely stupid policy, likely to be wickedly ineffective, and what does the anonymous editorialist in the lizard Oz do?

Crow inanely about the greenies and the Labor party:

At the end of a week when the Coalition has been able to implement another signature policy, Direct Action, and make a bold move to implement the blocked fuel excise indexation via another route, it is beyond time for Mr Shorten to consider his strategy. Labor can no longer avoid the hard slog of policy revision or hope to capture the mainstream while pandering to the green Left. Just as Labor has offered bipartisanship on national security, it must get off the sidelines and play itself into the central debate about economic reform and fiscal sustainability, improving rather than rejecting. Denial is no answer. (here)

The mainstream is getting punters to pay for the sins of big polluters?

That's fully rich, coming from a mob so deep in denialism regarding effective and useful policies that all deep swigs from the kool aid bottle gets them through the free market day ...

(more Wilcox here)

Where's Chairman Rupert blathering on about inequality and the suffering of bank board members when he's needed?

Here he is, trying out a drone, no doubt so he can bomb the greenies more directly:

How funny does it get in reptile la la land?

Well, the "please sir" - in ever so humble a tone, see we're tugging our forelock sir, can we have a few changes to the gruel known as the security laws, sir - editorial is a hoot to read ...

In it you'll find the usual measure of hubris and vanity and how only the reptiles know how to break stories, especially about the wicked Labor and greenie folk, but it seems it's slowly dawned on the reptiles that they might be heading for some kind of domestic armageddon:

On Thursday, Senator Brandis tried to calm concerns over the potential prosecution and jailing of journalists for five or 10 years for reporting on special intelligence operations. He announced that he and his successors would have the final say on prosecutions. The minister described it as a “very powerful safeguard’’. We would not share his confidence, however, if any of his successors shared the restrictive, pro-censorship outlook exhibited by Labor’s Stephen Conroy or the Greens. It is also a concern, as Chris Merritt wrote yesterday, that prosecutions and convictions against the media under section 35P could be viewed as political because they require a minister’s tick. (here)

They're worried about Labor and the greenies, but they have full confidence in George "the bookcase man" Brandis?

There's plenty more by way of comedy stylings, with the reptiles even getting around to suggesting a few changes to the recipe for the gruel, in ever so 'umble style. Apparently they don't seem to realise that the horse has bolted, the gate is shut, and now the reptiles live in a fiefdom ruled over by George "the bookcase man" Brandis ...

Well that's where all the kool aid drinking will get you, barking about Conroy and done over by a George ...

By golly, every so often the pond yearns for a case of the kool aid that's in the water coolers at the lizard Oz ...

Ah well, every day is a reminder that Stan Cross's cartoon, to which David Pope paid due respect, is as relevant as it ever was, and not just for selling Minties ...

(Below: found here, and first published during the Great Depression. But hey, Australia now has Tony Abbott, and isn't that enough reason for a great depression?)