There's a sure sign that the season is winding down, and it's not just the unproductive Andrew 'the Bolter' Bolt undermining the productivity of the country by downing tools, it's the number of hits that the pond is receiving in relation to the matter of Sinterklaas.
The pond made mention of the weirdness of the Dutch and Sinterklass too long ago to remember, but it seems it now lives on in the full to overflowing intertubes.
Sinterklass happens on the 5th or 6th of December, depending on your location, and why the pond keeps receiving hits is a mystery, especially when there's a sedate wiki on the subject here, which fully explains the racist and colonial undertones that run through Sinterklass's assistant, one Zwarte Piet, who provides an excuse for a wild bout of blackface ... right up there with Ed Devereaux donning blackface to play a blacktracker and Kamahl to play an Arunta warrior in the Aussie flick Journey out of Darkness.
The pond has a lot of time for the Dutch, especially now they've been forced to be European rather than rampant colonialist, and Amsterdam is surely one of the great and civilised cities of the world, but you can't have a sensible discussion with Dutch folk about Zwarte Pieten roaming the streets. They're just too sensitive and vulnerable ...
Zwarte Piet even has his own wiki, here, and it's amazing that the Sinterklass tradition has spread to places like Rhinebeck.
That sounds kinda European but it's actually deep in the Hudson valley, in the good old USA, and of course you don't see too much of Zwarte Piet roaming the streets.
If anything, Sinterklass in America is just a reflection of the way any American - even a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court - will seize on an angle, an import, make sure it has all the sugar, spice and cinnamon an American demands, and then exploit the small town bejesus out of it.
Anyhoo, the ultimate point is that you can't talk coherently to the Dutch about Zwarte Piet, because they go defensive, or traditional, or conservative, or fudge and talk about how it's the soot in the chimney that made the black chappie manservant assistant look the way he does, when even a blind Freddie (the pond intends no disrespect to any reader who happens to be blind Fred) can work out that the Dutch have some serious psychological problems.
Never mind, David Sedaris's Six to Eight Black Men is required reading on the topic, and since links to Esquire seem to have fallen off the twig, you can find it here (with a few typos and omissions) or if you find reading too difficult, you can hear Sedaris reading it on YouTube. After explaining how dull and bountiful the American Santa is, Sedaris celebrates the Dutch
A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, "Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight, along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared."
This is the reward for living in the Netherlands. As a child you get to hear this story, and as an adult you get to turn around and repeat it. As an added bonus, the government has thrown in legalized drugs and prostitution - so what's not to love about being Dutch?
The point that Sedaris makes - with his interwoven tale of a licensed blind hunter in Michigan - is that it isn't just the Dutch that are weird, it's the whole damn world, and its customs and superstitions and beliefs ...
And if that isn't the right preparation for contemplating The Australian on a Saturday, then one doesn't exist.
Because, it has to be said, with a mingling of reluctance and good humour, that The Australian is consistently and relentlessly weird.
There isn't any room for a Zwarte Piet on its opinion pages - not even a blackface imitation is allowed to stand in the way of its parade of angry white males - but there are any number of Zwarte Tony lovers.
And ironies of the Sedaris kind abound. Here's the "exclusive" at the top of the digital Xmas tree today:
You can surely see the irony here.
The Australian has been the font, the home, the heartland, the spouting fountain for relentless negativity for the past year, for indeed the entire time of the minority government, spewing fear, loathing, hostility and anger into the atmosphere like a mini-Vesuvius (has anyone at the IPCC done a study into its impact on global warming, and if not, why not?)
Did anyone ask the nation's corporate leaders whether they might deliver a stinging rebuke to the Murdochian media for the way its negative politics damages the economy, minds, hearts, the spirit and the very soul of the nation?
How about the hatchet job the Daily Terror mounted on Slipper, and the fearless reporting that then saw the result of the court case buried deep down in the bowels of the rag?
Of course not. Bitterness and bile and righteous crusading is what politicians do, but the media is supposed to be above it. Unless you're down in the gutter with the steel-toed boots of the commentariat.
Speaking of whom, there is of course an eminently predictable line up in today's opinion pages saying all the things you'd expect. First up is the rag's own version of a pompous prattling self-important Polonius:
Kelly has an over-addiction to over-yabbering, so let's not encourage him any more.
Then there's an apprentice doomsayer, ransacking through the innards of the sacrificial chicken, and emerging with gloomy fear and loathing:
With bonus Xmas cartoon joke. And in the new year, the Messiah will arrive and save Australia from everything. Cheer up Mr Van Onselen, the coming of Zwarte Tony will bring great joy and wonder, and lo the world will be transformed and all will be well ...
And then of course there's the wild-eyed seer, the prophet and soothsayer, roaming in the wilderness, an endless source of mischief, mayhem and entirely false predictions, but soon to celebrate the arrival of the Messiah (and perhaps pick up a few more board appointments, so that institutions like SBS and the National Museum can be driven even further into the ground):
Ah yes, spite and spleen and an unhappy uncomfortable Xmas to all, it's the Christian spirit of giving at its finest.
Speaking of boards, the pond just loves this NMA board snap:
By now you'll have realised that the pond is tired, and looking forward to an Xmas break, because there's really nothing to be said about relentless negativity that doesn't in turn involve a matching relentless negativity.
That's the thing about Dr. No. If you say no to no, then you're still saying no. And so no wins ...
And in a week's time we'll be in the thickets, the fog of our own very weird set of Zwarte Pietens ...
So forget the no, enjoy the weird. Put on a happy face, like the NMA:
And meanwhile, if you'll recall, yesterday The Australian published a pre-emptive set of denials by Michael Costa, because that's the sort of rag it is, just as it obligingly published a set of denials by Mal Brough, because that's the sort of rag it is ...
And the pond said the story had legs, and so here's that story about Michael Costa and Eddie Obeid, Costa, Obeid and the water firm.
May it continue to run forever ... or at least so people can understand how the mates ran NSW per benefit of privatisation ...
And also understand why the mates will do tremendously well when Zwarte Tony steps into office ... and the privatisation of the NBN becomes the very first jingle bell up for grabs ...
Oh yes, the pond feels at one with the Xmas spirit, of fear and loathing, that emanates from The Australian on a daily basis...
And so to the suggestion of the day, and as usual it comes from Mike Carlton, deeply concerned about the legal bills faced by Ashby in the matter of Slipper, here:
Perhaps Abbott could call for donations to a slush fund like the one he ran when he was trying to destroy Pauline Hanson a few years ago.
Indeed. You won't read a joke that in The Australian ...
As for Zwarte Piet, couldn't happen here you say? Will Zwarte Tony roam the streets?
Why, yes, and as you can see below, there he is on Bondi beach.
Remember Zwarte Tony is coming and will surely be here in time for next Xmas ...
... so be prepared for a good kicking from Poodles Pyne, babbling George Brandis, and Julie 'death stare' Bishop, and a good flaying and flensing with hockey sticks by jolly Joe Hockey ...
You see, the Dutch aren't that far off the mark after all, and is the world weird or what ...
In fairness to Peter VanOnselen, at least he has been consistent in his dislike of nastiness in public discourse. His exposure of Michael Kroger as a blowhard bullyboy (defending Alan Jones) was one for the ages
ReplyDeleteTrue enough Tim Rust, but the pond has always found that if you give the commentariat an inch they'll run a mile, and Van Onselen has always traded on his purported fairness, when, if you scratch the surface, he routinely sounds like just another kool aid drinker.
ReplyDeleteWhat he's reflecting on in that piece is the way that the Murdoch press trawled through the gutter to demean and defame Gillard. But the way it comes out in his hands, is that he's purporting to write an objective piece that's just about the numbers. The latest poll wasn't just about the numbers, the reversal came about after an extremely heavy dose of muck-raking and gutter-crawling.
Gillard's government is in any case on a hiding to nothing, and that is unlikely to change in the next year, but will you ever see a Van Onselen discuss the way the Murdoch press has helped comprehensively trash, revile and defame Gillard? (With Fairfax not far behind)
Not in the pond's dreaming ...
Oh he's partisan, true enough, but at least draws a line at abuse which makes him better than Sheehan, Ackermann, et al.
DeleteAndrew Elder called him out on his article deploring the state of Politics, asking him what was his role and what had he done to alleviate it