loon pond

(Above: Abbott in action, found here. The real crime? Punching a person or a wall?)

(Above: or the real crime? Collar over jumper, and hideous pattern on jumper! Guilty as charged, but before we throw the first stone, who can claim they are innocent of crimes against fashion and humanity?)

Before we get to the main course, let's start with a starter or entree or flashback.

While the pond was away, Dr. Gerard "prattling Polonius" Henderson embarked on a valiant defence of Tony Abbott and his wayward youthful excesses in Condemnation by long memory tends to stretch matters.

Nature abhorring a vacuum, yesterday Professor Robert Manne confronted his mortal enemy with Tony Abbott and his cheer squad deny "The Punch" ever happened. But their case is flawed. (no need to go on with the argument, the header says it all).

Not being prescient, the pond is unable to take sides. Put it another way. A time machine would be useful, of the kind that turned up in MIB3, or perhaps in an episode of the Big Bang Theory, where a recycled version of the Rod Taylor-Yvette Mimieux time machine turned up to provide gags for the A-plot.

Some might think it's a matter where either Tony Abbott is lying, or the three who proposed a different version of events are lying, and make their choice according to taste - add butter, salt and pepper according to taste. Liar, liar, pants on fire. You know the drill ...

Some might be reminded of the immortal fable of wise blind men feeling out the shape of a camel or an elephant - select beast and fable, and add butter, salt and pepper according to taste.

Some might wonder why so much time is being wasted attempting to establish that Tony Abbott is an aggressive, negative, testosterone-driven politician, as if the bleeding obvious needs an anecdote dragged up from student days is the only convincing evidence to hand. He started life as a rugger bugger and an amateur boxer. Say no more!

Some might see it as satisfying payback for the relentless exhumation of Julia Gillard's youthful legal follies - people in glass houses shouldn't throw mud for fear of blocking the view, yadda yadda.

Some might wonder why so much time is being spent on these matters, when it might be interesting to see if Tony Abbott had some actual policies to discuss - like, how is he going to make his policies on climate change actually work.

Some might wonder why the discussion of Australian politics has retreated to this level of "he said, they said" spitefulness, and truly you have to look no further than the amplification chamber known as the formal media, and in particular the Murdoch press.

As the pond wasn't an actual witness to events, there's not much more to add, except perhaps that the best solution might be an existential literary solution, as we note that we continue to live in a confederacy of liars, fools and dunces.

Who knows which liar or dunce is correct - stick a pin in the tail of the donkey of choice, and don't forget to add butter, pepper and salt to taste.

One thing is certain. The blithering idiocy of Greg Sheridan asserting that because he knew Tony Abbott, it couldn't have happened is simply no help.

It's the sort of supportive but totally irrelevant logic that led many people to assert that Albert DeSalvo simply couldn't have been the Boston Strangler because they knew him... (yes, that's what the wiki says here).

Okay, you catch the drift. By the time someone's dragged in the Boston Strangler, they've jumped the shark, or nuked the fridge, or turned into Ross Cameron dragging North Korea into a a conversation at the drop of a hat.

And so to the main course, which is of course is Gerard Henderson's offering today, Multiculturalism still has a long road to travel to reach all.

Sadly this presents an acute challenge to the pond. Our beloved Polonius is taking a look at the recent fuss over a z-quality film, and accompanying riots and reaches a conclusion the pond has to agree with:

It doesn't matter if the disaffected in a democracy are Catholic-born members of the Irish Republican Army or Muslim-born supporters of bin Laden. If a radicalised group in a Western society does not accept democracy and engages in terrorism or violence, there is only one response. It's over to the police to enforce the law with the assistance, where necessary, of the intelligence services. Then it's up to the judicial system.

See that, fundamentalist Islamic ratbags! Is that what you want? The pond forced into an uneasy confederacy with the likes of our prattling Polonius? Or the Bolter, or the Blairites? Is that your idea of moving forward?

Along the way Henderson takes his usual shots at left-liberals and leftist academics and the ABC and in particular Waleed Aly, and Lakemba-based Lebanese folk, but they'll have to take their lumps and defend themselves how they will.

The dividing line for this sort of nonsense came long ago for the pond, with the declaration of a fatwa against Salman Rushdie in the matter of The Satanic Verses (when the main crime was surely to make the pond read the book in order to formulate a coherent response to the arguments doing the rounds).

Now to compound the fuss over the movie, the Iranian theocrat have decided to add $500k to the reward for killing Salman Rushdie - Salman Rushdie bounty increased amid anti-Islam film controversy.

The latest controversy over an Islamophobic film would not have occurred if Salman Rushdie had been killed, according to an Iranian state-run institute which has now increased the bounty on the head of the British author to about $3.3m (£2m).

Dear sweet absent lord, what sort of lunatic logic is that? Killing Rushdie would have stopped people from pointing out the stupidity of yet another "pie in the sky bye and bye" religion?

Fundamentalist Islamic thinking is profoundly offensive, especially in the matter of the rights of women and gays. It's regressive and oppressive, and the pond reserves the right to follow Marlon Brando in the matter of all religions.

Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against? 
Johnny: Whaddaya got?

Oh yes, roll on the release of Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master.

The pond long ago formed a profound contempt for the queasy deviousness and hypocrisy of the likes of Cat Stevens, aka Yusuf Islam when it came to the matter of Rushdie (as noted in the wiki here).

In the end, it comes down to the complete incoherence of Islamic fundamentalists and moderate apologists who seek to ameliorate the offensive stupidity of their behaviour. If that puts the pond in the camp of rabid right-wingers, or even prattling Polonius, so be it.

Why it's even forced the pond to quote Peter FitzSimons. That's right, the bloody Fitz and his bloody red bandana! See, Islamic fundies, see what agony you've wrought!

We have to ask: Do you have the first clue as to the ramifications of your actions? Do you not understand that the net result of such irresponsible, appalling action is to give ample fuel to every racist in the country to reinforce every bad stereotype they have ever had of you, and that will affect badly the hundreds of thousands of other peaceful and law-abiding Islamic Australians? (here)

Not the bloody Fitz! Yes, the bloody Fitz:

In this country you are free to worship whatever god you damn well please. Others are free to worship their gods. 
And I am free to say it is all nonsense over imaginary friends. 
But you are not free to create the mayhem you did yesterday, simply because you don't like a freaking video! 
Racists have said for years, “If you don't like the way we do things here, go back to where you came from.” The net result of your actions yesterday is that – for those people specifically disgracing themselves in the CBD yesterday, not the vast bulk of Islamic Australians – much of the country now feels the same.
Nice work. 

We'll even overlook the use of the word "racist" in the context of a discussion of what has nothing to do with race, but actually involves religion, and ethnic and cultural attitudes.

Has it come to this?

About the only thing more irritating was the way assorted guests on Q&A last night were invited to discuss the movie (still available on YouTube). And they said they hadn't seen it. And they still talked about it anyway!

Can the ABC set some preliminary reading or homework for guests, so they don't sound like we're living in a confederacy of dunces? Or soon the pond will be sounding like Henderson harping on about the total uselessness of the ABC ...

Can we now get back to important matters, like whether Tony Abbott was an angry young man, and Julia Gillard once had a dud relationship? Crucial matters that will determine the policies and good governance of this country for generations to come ...

Or at least can we have fun suggesting that Tony Abbott and the Liberal party are sounding like Islamic fundamentalists or angry Sydney Anglicans when it comes to gay marriage? You see, at the end of the day, intolerant bigoted religious fundamentalism of any kind deserves a punch-up.

And remember to add butter, salt and pepper according to personal taste...

(Below: and quickly, let the fuss about The Master land and erase memories of other fundamentalists with the news that The Church of Scientology is plotting against The Master).