The pond goes barking mad, and howls at the moon, Ben Cubby, Iberia, Campbell Newman and Mal Brough ...

(Above: Mars from Adelaide, found here at a nice Adelaide amateur astronomical blog).

There's a nice moment in Errol Morris's film, Tabloid - about an alleged porn starlet - there's a law suit in that sort of description - kidnapping, cuffing and fucking a Mormon missionary - where the term 'barking mad' is used, celebrated and then imported into the United States for further use.

'Barking mad' is a lovely phrase, conjuring up as it does a dog which once lived with the pond, which wasn't just barking mad, it was also a moon howler and a tune crooner and a grunter and a farter and an itcher and a scratcher and a digger and a biter and a chewer. A lovely hound.

But I digress. What we want to celebrate is the barking mad, and this lovely gem which turned up in yesterday's Fairfax piece by Ben Cubby, Climate sceptics unmoved by scientist's about-face:

''It does sound outlandish,'' Mr Roberts said. ''I, like you, was reluctant to believe it [but] there are significant things going on in Australia that people are waking up to. The UN's climate front is just a part of the overall UN 'Agenda 21', which is the sustainability program and the biodiversity program … But the biggest one's the UN agenda for global governance.''

Agenda 21? Too late Australia's already a signatory and we're doomed. What sane mind could possibly support sustainability and biodiversity? Talk about a devious plot to ruin the world, when what's most urgently needed is a complete lack of sustainability and biodiversity.

Even better is Mr. Roberts cogent scientific response to cogent scientific matters. Science? Let's talk about a global conspiracy, and world government.

You might lead with statistics, observations and scientific theories. Please allow the pond and Mr. Roberts to respond with a screening of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and the X-Files. They're out they're you know, they and the truth and a glowing Mr. Bynes.

There, that's the sort of hard, knock 'em down science you'd expect from a sceptic group, the Galileo Movement - oops, seems the UN has hacked and ruined the website - which not only boasts of Malcolm Roberts, former mining engineer and company director, as its manager, but which has Alan Jones as its patron, and Ian Plimer, Bob Carter and Andrew Bolt as "advisers".

Yes, you too can set up a two dollar company, claim a talking parrot as your patron, nominate a bunch of independent advisers whose advice you don't have to follow, and suddenly a Fairfax reporter like Ben Cubby will come knocking on the door, invite a quotation or two, and welcome you as a respectable part of the debate, with an insightful opinion or three on a vast international UN conspiracy.

Calling Mr. Cubby, the pond also has a lot to offer the debate:

''It does sound outlandish,'' the pond said. ''I, like you, was reluctant to believe it [but] there are significant things going on in Australia that people are waking up to. The NASA Mars probe is just a part of the overall NASA agenda which is the NASA sustainability program and the NASA biodiversity program designed to help maintain funding for the grant seekers of NASA … But the biggest one's the NASA agenda for global governance, which can be seen in NASA's relentless promoting of the myths of climate science.''

Now if you just slip in 'Martian' instead of 'NASA', the science really starts to cook, the jive joint really starts to jump, and soon enough you too can be howling at the moon in a barking mad way (unless you know how to spot Mars in the sky, and then feel free to howl at Mars).

Standing by Mr. Cubby, let's really elevate the discourse in the Fairfax domain.

Or maybe not. After all, even that notable scientist, Janet "Dame Slap" Albrechtsen once put her toe in the water and blathered on about the UN world government being just around the corner.

Barking mad.

Speaking of the barking mad, it seems only right to note that the Iberians are suffering. Not a day goes by without talk of fresh calamities. Car parks are empty, retail is empty and suffering, public sector workers are profoundly insecure, sackings abound, bonuses are booted, programs are slashed, the quality of life pared away, airport delays get worse, buses are in the dark, there's talk of the unicameral leader using his power "for evil", caravan parks are being sold off and hundreds of residents put under the hammer, and "Can Do" has suddenly become "Can't Do".

You've guessed it. We're not talking about Spain.

The new Iberians are Queenslanders, thanks to Campbell Newman announcing that the state faced the same future as Spain, which outraged the Iberian tribe and produced talk of sangria in Madonna King says comparing Queensland's economy to Spain's serious slip of lip by Campbell Newman.

Fair dibs. The state has always reminded the pond of Iberia in the Roman days. It took the Romans several hundred years to tame the natives, and form Hispania Citerior and Hispania Ulterior, more than it took to bring the Gauls and the British into line (the Scots are another matter altogether).

But is Campbell Newman a latter-day Roman, the heroic Caesar he fancies himself to be, bringing peace and economic promise to the unruly natives?

Already there's been some rumbling, as you can read in The Newman Government has had its usual share of early mishaps. But public understanding won't last ...

Sensing that the Iberians are restless, the anonymous editorial at the Courier-Mail has felt the need to offer some sage advice to the new Caesar in Sell the future, don't look back:

Mr Newman , who chose poorly last week when he compared Queensland's economy to European basket case Spain, must do better than to tell those affected by the changes to "go and look up who the local Labor member was at the time (and) complain to them".
The State Government is ticking almost every box in the "what not to do" sections of the change management manual relating to consultation and inspiration. Selling the virtue and benefits of the destination would be more constructive than highlighting alleged horrors of what we are running from.

But what would the anonymous editorialist know?

It seems they don't have the first clue. It was only a few days ago that the anon barking mad editorialist led with LNP show Labor Party how a preselection should be done, along with this triumphant snap of Mal Brough which suggested a kind of megalomania:

Sending Mal Brough back to Canberra, arms crossed like a Roman conqueror, shows how it should be done?

The quisling editorialist even managed this line, though it was impossible to check whether tongue was firmly implanted in cheek:

The weekend's preselection result was, in summary, good news for Queensland because, regardless of political ideologies or preferences, the state's interests are best served by having talented and politically competent representatives in Canberra. Mr Brough is a proven performer, although one who may need to keep his ambitions in check from time to time for the greater good.

Good news for the new Iberians perhaps, but bad news for Australia.

If nothing else, the barking mad Courier-Mail reminds readers elsewhere of the need for alternative media and alternative views.

The ululating editor offers the pond a chance to tout the joys of Chris Graham's piece for Crikey, Brough is back, with a record of failure (sadly behind the paywall).

Graham gives Brough a rough time, charting an epic number of failures, from his ruining of CDEP and generating near record levels of Aboriginal unemployment, buggering up the land program HOIL, underspending the Indigenous Affairs budget, cranking up the woeful NT intervention, requesting extracts of Slipper's diary (no shame, no shame at all), telling million dollar porkies about drug deals, and after his gig, heading off to the Tiwi islands "seeking to make a profit from - and lend a hand to - the islanders".

If that's being a talented and politically competent representative ...

Brough is the classic example of a man who can't do anything much useful outside politics, and what's the odds, once he's back in the game he will revert to his old ways of high-handed arrogance and remarkable ineptness?

So for inflicting Brough on Australia again, and for the Courier-Mail presenting this as some kind of positive example for all to follow, the pond fervently hopes that Campbell "Can't Do Caesar" Newman continues to lay waste and ruin the province of Iberia.

Suffer Iberians suffer, because we too will suffer. First Barners, now the rough end of the pineapple Brough?

Barking mad.

(Below: a poignant cartoon about the new Iberia by Leahy, found here).