Speaking of bimbos ...

(Above: Clive Palmer on the ABC's Lateline).

Here's the thing.

The pond's not that big on cyber lockers or torrents, but can anyone explain the difference between recording Being Lara Bingle on a PVR, then sending it off to the computer for downsizing and watching on an iPad, or saving a stage and downloading it off the internet, with the commercials already handily cut out?

Oh sure it's a breach of intellectual property rights, but isn't that assuming there's any kind of intellectual property of any kind whatsoever in Being Lara Bingle? Intellectual? Que? (Don't worry, the pond sometimes thinks it comes from Barcelona).

Apart from the notorious Bingle bump, is there a single reason for the show to exist, except perhaps to show the joy and good taste resulting from Gina Rinehart as chair of entertainment selection on the Ten Network?

Even the creators of the show have refused to take a personal credit - we know who you are John McAvoy - or perhaps the network refused to allow personal credits because they decided the creative team might launch a defamation action ...

What loss is the network or its advertisers suffering? The pond wouldn't use any of their products on a matter of principle, while wasting valuable minutes shaving the ads out via the PVR. It's the pond that's suffering a loss - just five minutes viewing could lead to irreparable brain damage ...

Roll on The Shire, let's have double or nothing when it comes to intellectual property ... and by golly, how Gina Rinehart's presence on the Fairfax board will lift the quality of the entertainment. Talk about a track record, between dolts and bimbos ...

Speaking of dolts and bimbos, it's the pond's duty to draw attention to eccentricity in the media - after all, deep down and sometimes on a slickly superficial surface, we're all loons.

Sure there might be urgent real-life issues to hand. Like the pathetic attempt by Cardinal Pell to avoid a leadership role in the latest pedophile scandal to affect the Catholic church, and instead allow the Bishop of Armidale to attempt to deflect criticism by appointing an "independent expert" to review documentation. (Bishop announces sex abuse investigation). Call in the cops and a Royal Commission and be done with the cover-ups.

Sure the Slipper affair might be back in the news with Peter Slipper subpoenaes LNP head Bruce McIver (behind The Australian paywall, and no the pond didn't pay to read the "exclusive").

One senior Labor source said: "I understand there are thousands of texts. We've always said that we think the LNP was involved and we wonder whether the texts will shed more light on that.
"If they do, this could do major damage to Tony Abbott."
The Opposition Leader and other Coalition figures have denied encouraging Mr Ashby to launch his legal action.
Some Coalition sources are concerned that because Mr Ashby's telephone would have been funded by taxpayers any contacts could be made public.
Mr McIver told The Australian last week that, before Mr Ashby's lawsuit was filed, Mr Brough had contacted him and possibly Mr Palmer about finding a job for a female staffer of Mr Slipper.

Beware what you wish for, and how you play the game.

Sure the performance of one time Barclays' head Bob Diamond in delivering three hours of stonewalling to British MPs was a delight (Bob Diamond defends Barclays over timely response to wrongdoing).

Sure the news that George Entwistle has been appointed BBC director general means clap happy Mark Scott can remain in the antipodes to ensure the ABC remains a refuge for members of the Institute of Public Affairs, free to spread their sponsors' messages to the cardigan brigade and the inner city elites, and Gerard Henderson.

But there was a special delight in one spectacular performance, which excelled all others, namely Clive Palmer on Lateline last night, in which the coy billionaire delivered a most eccentric performance, as he beamed into Australia from Papeete, Tahiti, opening up with an international greeting, Ia orana from Tahiti nui.

It wasn't what Mr. Palmer said in Palmer has 'strong commitment' to Kennedy so much as the way that he said it.

Suddenly vistas of pleasure and acres of delight in a future Abbott government unrolled before the pond's eyes, as Clive delivered jabs, jibes, innuendoes and asides about Tony Abbott

I know that Tony Abbott said some things about door knocking being important and it is. I've door knocked on more than four million doors since 1969. And I know if he needs help, I'm happy to go down to Sydney to help him day-for-day to door knock his electorate. Let's do it for a week or so together so we make sure that seat stays Liberal. I'm happy to go to the bus stops and stand with Tony and give him a hand if he doesn't want to door knock. I'm happy to do that.

Clive is going to help Tony Abbott save his seat?

What a cheeky fellow he is ... and he kept on being cheeky.

I'd like to say a cheerio to Mr Abbott if he's watching and wish him all the best and say he's a great leader and I'm sure we'll get the election next time and I'm happy to be - I just want to be one day part of his team so that I can look up to him, or down, as the case may be and see that he does well.

Look up or down, casu quo, and perhaps quantum meruit, mutatis mutandis, and so on and so forth?

Clive was ever so jolly, and extremely unctuous and 'umble, explaining to Tony Jones how he was a mere humble ordinary member of the Liberal party, standing for Liberal party principles, freedom of conscience in the Liberal way, and those Liberal party policies he agreed with ...

It was smug, and self-serving, and it offered up great hope of a world of future pain for Tony Abbott, forced to wrestle with yet another Queenslander, whether or not Clive manages to displace Bob Katter in Kennedy or get the nod on the Sunshine Coast (has the cane toad toxin infected all of them?)

At the very end Clive advised Tony Jones he was Australia's number one journalist, fitting really, since it was an extraordinary, soft soap interview, more a Tahitian song and dance routine with bonus Tahitian newspaper than a serious interview, revealing that Clive will be a gad fly on the back of Abbott for years to come.

Naturally Australia's number one journalist didn't once raise the matter of Peter Slipper with Clive. Why introduce a bummer note when the show's the thing?

If that's being number one, who's number two?

By the end of it all, the pond felt a deep affection for Lara Bingle ... routinely abused for making a living as a model.

When you take a look at Lateline, you might begin to wonder who are the real dolts and bimbos ...

(Below: possibly the most salacious, disgusting, notorious, vulgar nude image of Lara Bingle to date. No, not her bum, but the shocking revelation she uses a Mac. But we thought we'd throw in the bum as a bonus. The pond always plays fair with gentleman readers, unlike the feeble titillation offered by the show).