How can you do comedy with vicious people who lack a sense of humour?

(Above: a different poster, just for variety).

... Manly grinded out a win over St. George (ABC News on RN this very day).

Never mind who won the football, Manly (that's on the north shore of Sydney) will always be losers and tossers even when they win.

The real loser was the English language. Whatever happened to ground out a win? Sure grinded exists as a word, but is it any way to start the day with this kind of verbal assault from an institution allegedly designed to protect civilisation, or the English and the way she be spoke?

Speaking of assault, the sooks have been out in force these last few days. There was Brad Emery scribbling furiously So it's "a joke" when it's about the other side?

He presents himself as a novelist writing on a full length novel set in the NSW outback, as opposed to writing a short length novel set in the outback, and the pond can hardly wait not to read it, but his topic for the day was how harshly and cruelly Abbott had been treated.

Showing a remarkable appetite for stereotypes, a limited world view, and a taste for caricature - always handy for a putative novelist - he led with indignation at the notion that Tony Abbott might be a homophobic misogynist who hates refugees:

This is obviously not an uncommon view among the trendy inner-Sydney left and the posters may not have attracted much attention had the Minister for Health not styled herself as the bastion of political correctness

Oh for god's sake, not another rant about trendy inner-city folk. With a double pike about political correctness.

Along with an obvious sensa huma deficit, Emery has the same grasp of English as ABC news on the radio:

Apparently openly slandering a former Minister of the Commonwealth and current Leader of the Opposition with a sleazy doctored poster, displayed in a taxpayer funded public office is ‘just a bit of fun’.

Slander?

slander (slndr)n.

1. Law: Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation.
2. A false and malicious statement or report about someone. (here)

Yes, slander is usually - and especially in law - reckoned to be an oral communication, so apparently Emery thinks a poster is some kind of oral communication. What a goose.

And then he wraps it all up with another cliche:

And remember, anyone with a view that does not fit with standard, trendy, inner-city Labor ideology is fair game.’

Not another bit of bashing of trendy inner-city elites with an axe handle ... ye ancient loaves of multiplying cats, bread and fishes ...

Oh why don't you just bugger off to the bush and write your novel about handsomely rugged men who simply won't drink a latte before ringing the shed with three hundred sheep ... perhaps with an interlude where the heroine picks the wool from the hero's ears and they fuck wildly in the hay ...

But no, instead Emery has to defend the indefensible, confusing comedy with criminality:

Jackie Kelly was pilloried in the press and by Labor during the 2007 election campaign for claiming that fraudulent fliers handed out by rouge Liberals in her electorate, linking Labor to a fake militant Islamic organisation was just ‘a Chaser style prank’.

Somehow Emery thinks this was just a red clown nose day for Kelly, or at least her excuse was ... when in reality her husband copped a fine for handing out unauthorised leaflets, "the worst case" of its type a magistrate had seen. That's a long way from a poster on a wall with satirical intent. (Jackie Kelly's husband fined $1100 for election leaflets).

(Jackie Kelly and husband).

But back to that question of slander, and could anyone get a conviction in a court of law against the poster, even if the magistrate allowed that oral meant printed?

One of the accusations oralled on the poster (thanks ABC you're an inspiration) was that Abbott was threatened by homosexuality.

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott is standing by his comments that homosexuality makes him feel "threatened".
Mr Abbott said he would "probably feel a bit threatened ... as most people do" when asked how he felt about homosexuality during a 60 Minutes interview which aired on Sunday night...
... "There is no doubt that it challenges, if you like, orthodox notions of the right order of things," he said. (here)

The pond submits that it's an open and shut case m'lud. He is, by his own admission, threatened ...

As for boat people, the evidence that Tony Abbott thinks the wretches are a dire threat is so extensive that we have a wheelbarrow load of opposition remarks and Abbott remarks about how they must be turned back, even in high seas, and even if it means they drown.

I'll turn back every boat, says Tony Abbott (perhaps paywalled). Yes, he really did indulge in that rhetorical flight of fantasy.

As for the "make me a sandwich" joke - which merely recycles a favourite internet meme - perhaps it would have been more to the point to do a "do the ironing dear" joke on the poster, remembering Abbott's famous remark:

What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up, every year…. (here)

Now it's true a less misogynist man would have led off the remark with "what the girls or the ladies of Australia need to understand" ...

After all, down at the bowling club, you're only being a gentleman when you talk grandly about the girls or the ladies ...

Note to no one in particular: the pond does its own washing and ironing, and anyone else wants something done they can bugger off to the dry cleaners ....

Oh wait, what's that Mr. Abbot said? It seems that's what housewives, girls and ladies - god bless 'em one and all - do on the north shore, they get the ironing done commercially ... presumably when the maid has taken her day off on a Sunday ... though lordy, lordy this might be at risk ...

Is it about time for another rant by Emery about inner-city elites?

There are plenty of other Abbott quotes, though the pond always liked this one:

” I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman’s right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man’s right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak” (here, along with a lot of other tasty Abbott quotes)

Actually Mr. Abbott - and meaning no offence nor taking a gate - it's the pond's absolute right not to want to fuck you, and if any woman wants to withhold sex, then I'm afraid in this day and age, that's it, game over, fuck off and find someone else to fuck ...

So okay, perhaps the sandwich reference is unproven, but with ironing and sex and women's rights, I think the case is closed m'lud.

For some reason the Liberals, and Abbott are rattled. In particular, Abbott shows every sign of being rattled, with his "Run rabbit run" performance showing no mettle when the heat was applied to the iron.

It's simply too rich for a man who stood under signs saying "Bob Brown's bitch" and "Ditch the witch" to complain about a couple of jokey posters ...

Has his nattering negativity caught up with him? Laurie Oakes has run a very droll piece today, We'll all be rooned, except the Coalition at the election, reminding the world of past Abbott attitudes:

“One of the real problems we have at the moment is roonism,” Abbott said. “As in ‘We’ll all be rooned’ said Hanrahan.” This was a reference to an Australian bush poem in which pessimistic farmers constantly predict disaster no matter how good conditions are.

Roonism, Abbott explained, “is a kind of a mutant sibling of the tall poppy syndrome, and it’s poisoning our public life at the moment and it risks doing damage to the economy. “And of course, the chief economic ghoul literally praying for bad news is Kim Beazley. The champagne corks pop in Kim Beazley’s office every time someone gets into trouble.”

As Oakes points out, Tony Abbott, say hello to roonism ...

There's something about Abbott and his turbulent grasping desire for power, and the pond suspects it's jockism.

As always Tamworth provides an exemplary guide. In the pond's day at Tamworth High, there were the jocks, always surrounded by vacuous blonde bubble heads, and the nerds, geeks, gays, wogs, crips and plain girls (guess which camp the pond was in).

The jocks displayed a thin veneer of civility to the outcasts, because it was expected by the teachers. But the fear and loathing ran deep, and every so often it bubbled to the surface, either verbally or with a thumping. Take that wog, cop this poofter, go do the ironing girls.

Tony Abbott's surface is full of bubbles ...

There was an interesting example of this kind of bubbling last night on Stateline in a story about a man of middle eastern appearance, a Bankstown solicitor who'd been arrested by the coppers some six times (Solicitor takes on Police over racial profiling). Take that wog. Do the NSW police still employ phone books for their intended use around the head of a suspect?

The trouble with the geeks and the nerds and liberals in general - you live your life, I'll live mine, and let's try to get along - is that they rarely stand up to the jocks and their bullying ways.

Well the moment Abbott stood under those witchy, bitchy signs, all bets were off for the pond. He might win the election with his 'roonism' but he can also take his 'roonism' and shove it ... and if he gets a couple of jokey posters shoved up him at the same time, that's all well and good.

Oh and there was one other thing you could always count on at Tamworth High. There was always some wretchedly unfit, unhealthy looking geek or nerd who would hang around the jocks, and wash out their jock straps and otherwise toady up to them, like oxpeckers or remoras.

Come on down Christopher Pearson, show us how to toady:
It's important to remember? Only if you barrack for Manly, and even when they win, they're tossers and losers ...

(Below: in case what you were wondering what the storm in the tea cup was all about...

... Tandberg strikes again ...
... a Tony Abbot inspired advertisement ...

And the pond recommends this T-shirt as a sure way to introduce calm domestic bliss in gay and straight marriages. Tell 'em Tony Abbott gave you the idea, and remember not to feel threatened ...