(Above: Rod Mullinar possessed by demons in the Yarra Valley? Head off to the Inspiration Room here to see what passes for Inspiration in the advertising world these days).
After the stunning publicity campaign launched by Morag Zwartz in support of the pleasures of leading a double life, Daylesford, Tourism Victoria, and the sensuous decadence that awaits a tourist wanting a romp in a town full of mineral water and mud baths, we're heading back to Melbourne for the weekend.
After the stunning publicity campaign launched by Morag Zwartz in support of the pleasures of leading a double life, Daylesford, Tourism Victoria, and the sensuous decadence that awaits a tourist wanting a romp in a town full of mineral water and mud baths, we're heading back to Melbourne for the weekend.
Can't get enough of that good old Victorian decadence.
You can read Morag's howl about the evils of the world by re-visiting her compelling arguments explaining the wickedness of the Victorian government here.
Meanwhile, we were pleased to see that her better half Barney Zwartz - well we understand that Christians still believe in the dominion of man over world, woman, beast, fowl and fish - has provided tremendous reassurance that a trip to Victoria need not lead to death.
After all, Victoria is the home Catch the Fire Ministries, which regularly asks penetrating questions - such as Should Christians participate in Halloween? - and is headed by Pastor Danny Nalliah, and quite recently Barney wrote up in a goggle eyed way how Pastor Danny raised a woman from the dead.
Yep, it's all here, in I was raised from dead, woman tells, in which The Age seeks to match the most derelict journalistic standards available to tabloids around the world.
Okay, it doesn't read so much like an actual news story, so much as a promotional pamphlet for Pastor Danny, but the results are positively heroic:
Pastor Nalliah, a well-known Pentecostal minister, said he was prompted by the Holy Spirit to ''call back life. So I got right up to her body, put my hand on her chest and shouted out, 'In the name of Jesus, life return! Satan, you have no right to take this life on tour. Diana, come back, in Jesus' name!'
''Glory to God, immediately Diana opened her eyes, her eyeballs fell back into place and she gave me a great big smile.''
She returned to Australia, where an electrocardiogram gave her a clean bill of health.
Pastor Nalliah said it was the third time he had seen someone raised from the dead after the Holy Spirit told him to call back life.
The third time?
What the hell are we doing wasting our time with all this flapdoodle about Mary MacKillop? I mean she only managed a couple of guaranteed miracles, of a relatively minor kind and after a lot of digging by the Vatican, while Pastor Danny has done three solid 'back from the dead' Lazarus style routines.
Heck, we have our very own living saint walking amongst us, and the Catholic Church can't spot a surefire winner ...
Only Barney and The Age.
Or is it something they put in the water in Melbourne? I'm not sure what, but whatever Pastor Danny, Morag and Barney are drinking, I'll have a double with a little Yarra Valley wine chaser ...
Tucked into The Age banner is the old saying Dieu et mon droit. It happens to be the motto of the British Monarch - who knew they were a bunch of French speaking cheese eating surrender monkeys when the word was they were solid Germanic folk - and while literally it means 'God and my right' (shall me defend), back in the good old days it stood for the divine right of kings.
Perhaps it should stand for the divine right of Pastor Danny.
Or perhaps it really stands for the divine right of newspapers to act as pimps for holy rollers ...
Oh and by the way, with Halloween coming up, stand ready. Current advice from Pastor Danny's site:
• Pray that the Lord hinder the occult rituals. For four years, I lived in a building which over looked a cemetery where occult ceremonial markings were often found. ON certain occult feast days, usually between midnight and 3am, I would look down into the darkness and kneel at my window binding the demons that controlled the ceremonies. I’ll never know this side of heaven what effect my prayers had. Maybe a potential sacrifice escaped. Maybe the occultists weren’t successful in summoning their demon. Maybe a new, young recruit decided that this was not the lifestyle he thought he wanted.
• Pray for the salvation of the occultists. Jesus Christ died for those whom Satan holds captive and deceived, for those who mock Him, who deny His deity or His existence. He doesn’t want them to perish, but to come to Him calling Him Father, Lord. Pray the veil is lifted from their eyes, the Lord allows them to see clearly their spiritual condition and their only hope lies in Jesus Christ. Pray also, about whether the Lord would have you take a more active role in bringing the gospel to Satan’s servants.
• Let your children know that this is effective warfare. They must know their prayers are heard and acted on by our Father. Let them know they can make a difference. Come October 31, they’ll know they have a job to do.
• Pray for the salvation of the occultists. Jesus Christ died for those whom Satan holds captive and deceived, for those who mock Him, who deny His deity or His existence. He doesn’t want them to perish, but to come to Him calling Him Father, Lord. Pray the veil is lifted from their eyes, the Lord allows them to see clearly their spiritual condition and their only hope lies in Jesus Christ. Pray also, about whether the Lord would have you take a more active role in bringing the gospel to Satan’s servants.
• Let your children know that this is effective warfare. They must know their prayers are heard and acted on by our Father. Let them know they can make a difference. Come October 31, they’ll know they have a job to do.
Effective warfare? Yep at the end of the month, it'll be occultists v Christians, and Collingwood's not involved. Those Victorians. They can't get enough grand finals ... Praise the lord and pass the ammunition ...
By golly, with Pastor Danny able to raise the dead, and make Mary MacKillop seem like a rank amateur - with scientific verification, and goggle-eyed reports of miracles performed in The Age, in the news section, no less - who cares about a few demons patrolling around on Halloween ...
Memo to self. Most avoid 23 Melverton Drive, Hallam, 3803 unless in search of a miracle ...
Oh Melbourne, Melbourne, what a strange heartbreak town you are ...
Meanwhile, normal business will resume Monday on the pond, assuming the demons, the demon Yarra Valley drink, the sapphic charms of Daylesford, the dead raising Pastor Danny, Morag or Barney don't get to me ...
And I thought that Mrs ex-Saxe-Coburg and Gotha's motto was "Honi soit qui mal y pense" (which, if Mrs Windsor isn't using it these days, might make a fine banner for the pond).
ReplyDeleteA little bit of Old-Middle French, apparently brought over to perfidious Albion by Guillaume or Eleanor of Acquitaine or one of that lot.
In the meantime, enjoy your sojourn in our fair state, and should we arrange an official adoption ceremony for you nest time ?