4 Corners and chaos and terror manufactured by psychiatry

(Above: the startling news doing the rounds on the intertubes, found here).

I hate to scoop Four Corners, but it has to be done.

Tonight they'll be running a program on Scientology, interviewing people about their experiences with the religion. You can find a preview here, which will eventually drop down the page and be replaced by the actual program, and more details here.

And in the usual soft leftie way we've come to expect of the cardigan wearers, they'll miss stunning revelations that have been doing the rounds on the intertubes.

I'll bet it comes as no surprise to you to learn that psychiatrists and psychiatry were behind Osama bin Laden and 9/11. As you can see and hear in the above clip, this stunning relevation comes to us all thanks to Scientology, or more properly thanks to its front organisation the Citizens Commission on Human Rights. Mad bombers are nothing to do with mad fundie Islamics, it's all to do with shrinks and drugs:

“Whether it’s a person who’s gonna carry a bomb into a marketplace, you know, in a crowded, inner city area, or whether he’s gonna jump on a plane and fly into the World Trade Center, it’s documented that these guys are on some form of psychiatric drug, and/or have psychiatric influence in their backgrounds.”

Unsurprisingly, it's Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri who's in charge of Osama, and running the show. No wonder in 2009 he became Al Qaeda's operation and strategical commander, with Bin Laden only an ideological figurehead:

“We got a mental patient here in this fellow Osama bin Laden, does anybody doubt that? That’s his psychiatrist right there. That’s the guy giving the orders. That’s the guy who’s running him.”

Now sceptics might quibble, and point to al-Zawahiri's actual medical training:

Al-Zawahiri graduating from Cairo University in 1974 with gayyid giddan. Following that he served three years as a surgeon in the Egyptian Army after which he established a clinic near his parents. In 1978, he also earned a master's degree in surgery. (here).

Proving once again that sceptics know nothing about deep cover and the cunning ways of psychiatrists intent on taking over the world (at lunchtime on Friday, after the global warming cabal of scientific conspiracists fail in their attempt, defeated by Tim Blair and Andrew Bolt).

Sure mad Al pretends to be a surgeon, but all doctors do a little shrinkery as part of their training. Eek, that means all doctors are in on the conspiracy!

Now what's the bet you won't hear a word of this in the Four Corners story? Proving once again that loon pond is the only place for breaking headlines. Okay the story's almost a year old - you can read about it here - but my psychiatrist told me not to reveal the details of the scoop for fear that the plot would be foiled, and he threatened to stop writing scripts for my meds. And that would mean loon pond goes truly loony.

Damn, another chance to shout 'hold the front page' goes missing, and it's all psychiatry's fault.

I keed, I keed. Perhaps I can make up for it with this exciting news:

Katie (Holmes) has been undergoing intense Scientology 'auditing' and is 'being prepared' for her child with Cruise, who is also a high-priest of the sect, the New York Post reported.

She is now back to spending hours at the Hollywood Scientology Centre, after recently promoting the Kevin Kline movie The Extra Man, and The Romantics, at Sundance.

A source told the newspaper: 'This is exactly what happened just before she got pregnant with Suri.
'Tom has made no secret of the fact that he would like another baby. It is almost as if she is being prepared for it.'
Scientologists believe the 'health and the sanity of the child begin long before birth,' according to a church-run website, which campaigns for silent birth.

I could have run a snap of Holmes, but I simply didn't have the heart for it. You can find some here at the Mail Online, and you can find the original New York Post story that started the hares running here.

So instead here's a happy snap from South Park:

And here's the good oil, full of paranoia and perhaps in need of a psychiatrist or at least a toke or two on some weed. Mellow out dudes. Chill.