Tim Blair and ten very useful things to know about climate change

The intertubes is full of information, but sometimes it's too complex or dispersed to be useful.

Here however are ten solid things you can learn about climate change from Tim Blair without having to trek through the last couple of weeks of his blog or heaven forfend months or even years:

1. It's raining. Hah, Al Gore must be in town. It always rains when he's around. Unless it happens to be record low temperatures in his state.

2. It's snowing. Hah, the warministas must be having a climate change conference. It's always cold when they try to tell us the planet's warming.

3. It's exceptionally hot today for what should be a winter's day. Hah, stuff happens, and remember you can't extrapolate a trend from just a casual one off event.

4. The dams are full. Hah, Tim Flannery got that wrong. Wouldn't have a clue.

5. The dams are empty. Hah, stuff happens, like droughts, and remember you can't extrapolate a trend from just a casual one off event. Especially fires and tornadoes.

6. They say that you need to look at climate change over decades. Hah, want to bet me twenty five bucks a day on temperatures going up a Farenheit degree above average, while I pay up for every degree Farenheit below average. I'd be fifty bucks up against these clowns already and that's just for starters. How's that for science. Let's see whose smirking at the end of each month.

7. Are big cars an issue? Hah, every Indian and Chinese person has the right to drive a Ford-150. It' s still America's favorite truck. Suck it, gaia. And fuck off Prius owners.

8. Should we be worried for the little fishies? Hah, not unless you think Barbara Streisand can sing. 

Like the corners of my mind, 

misty lobster colored memories 

of the shells they used to have, 

scattered pictures 

of the claws they left behind

Smiles we gave to one another

As we sucked the sweet meat down

9. Is the media the problem? Hah, all except me, look at the BBC reporting how the intensely cold weather in Peru killed 250 children when freezing temperatures arrived almost three months earlier than usual. As usual they blamed climate change, which is also supposed to be killing potatoes in America. That's not climate change, that's a changing climate. Don't they know you can't extrapolate, except when Al Gore is in town and the rain gushes like old faithful.

10. What about the tropical fishies arriving off Sydney's coast as the changing climate warms the water? Have you been watching Finding Nemo again? It's just a movie. About a clown fish, you clown. Spoiler alert Nemo's mum s dead, dead, dead. Oh it's sushi for me, sushi for me, and sushi for you ...

11. Bonus question. 

Should actual science play any part in discussing global warming? Hah, not when you can deliver cheap smart arse jibes and funny one liners sending up all the dumb cluck clowns who disagree with me. 

Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other.
   Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.

Hah, want a dollar on that?