In which the pond attempts a reptile intake cut-back and ends up filibustering nattering "Ned" ...

 

Sarcasm? The pond? Surely the pond applies satirical wit down there with Elon Musk's kitchen sink?

Let that sink in, as the pond celebrates a day when it truly can cut back on its reptile diet, after overdosing yesterday, and aware that soon in the holyday season, the pond will be taking a break, and the shakes and the jitters will likely set in ... hate the poison, but must take a daily dose, even as the lead degrades the system ...

To explain why the pond can cut back, the pond must at tedious length explain what happens with a murmuration of reptiles, where they all twist and swirl in the reptile bog swamp in an exquisite dance, all swerving about in the same motion, albeit a swirling full of monotony and repetition ...

The pond would have liked to include the tree killer edition, but the reptiles had sold their front page to Lockheed Martin ...

Bizarre, but it's pleasing to see the reptiles are getting something from the SouthPAN deal, or is it just a reward for the bromancer's love of missiles? 

Not to worry, back to the murmuration and on to the top of the digital edition, where suddenly, if belatedly the reptiles have discovered the teals and independents doing splendid work...

And if you follow that link about being between business rock and union hard place, you end up here ...

There you go, a piece by simplistic Simon "here no conflict of interest, no conflict of interest here" Benson ... and right next to him is one Alexander advising on the ancient art of avoiding higher wages while building a Murdochian empire, and the lizard Oz editorialist rabbiting on about undue haste... 

In that swamp of IR repetition, the only exception is Fergo discerning no clear winner in Victoria ... and as there are only a few more sleeps before election day, who gives a flying fuck what Fergo thinks?

Enough with the IR murmuration? Tired already? Understand why the pond wanted to cut back?

But wait. there's more ... lift the gaze a little and you'll end up with a set of steak knives and Dame Slap and Shanners mining the same turf ...

Oh it's Liberals bearing teeth time, and Dame Slap bearing teeth, and what a murmuration of reptiles gnashing their IR teeth ...

The Rowe for the day seemed to sum it all up, with a giant gorilla at the back of the reptile maul ...

So that's why Australian women do so well at rugger?

One thing you won't be reading about in the lizard Oz? Well you couldn't have Gina and the My Pillow guy getting agitated ...

Say what? Even the HUN paid attention, and the Graudian was early out of the blocks? 

Australia faces worsening extreme weather events latest BoM and CSIRO climate report finds.

And so on, and while at the Graudian make sure to dip into Marina Hyde's England’s armband activism was heroic – until it met the mere threat of a yellow card.

And that's the last the pond will mention of that wretched event this day, cavorting with repressive regimes, as it once did with Mussolini and the Olympics did with Adolf ...

Meanwhile even the Brisbane Times offered Drier, hotter, wetter: CSIRO, BoM confirm Australia’s weather to get even worse, and a house cartoon ...

Amazing what you can discover when you leave the reptiles' leet Surry Hills bunker ...

But eventually the pond had to do its duty, only to discover when you leave out the murmuration of IR reptiles bashing the unions and government, there was only reptile left standing ...

Oh noes, oh fuck it, not the Everest on a Wednesday, and even worse, not a climb going over the same ground, with the déjà vu feeling of having reached the same base camp many times before ...

But what else could the pond do? It had already used that Wilcox, and she'd decided to take a break, leaving this as her last treasure ...

And the infallible Pope seems to have taken a few awards as a cue for a break, so the pond could only don the boots and pack the crampons and carabiners and strap on the harness and belays, take trekking poles in hand and begin the climb ... (okay, it doesn't make much sense, but what metaphors do?)

The only reason the pond bothered with the climb was to see if the reptiles were still talking of war with China, if not by Xmas, then certainly in the New Year, but strangely that relentless drumbeat of war mongering seems to have subsided ...

It's a form of collective amnesia the reptiles practice daily. Yesterday it was ancient Troy forgetting all about the Murdochian empire's urging on of their orange Jeebus ... today it's "Ned" forgetting all he scribbled in the not so long ago past...

And so on, and even earlier ...

And there was even a special book ... celebrating the cheenius at work ...

And now here we are, and the shame of the Lowy Institute forgotten, and "Ned's" burbling of certainties in certain need of revision...

Would the pond rather be elsewhere? Of course it would, there are so many other things happening ... talk about glittering distractions ...

And there are cartoons too ...

And yet here's the pond stuck with a pompous blowhard bloviating, while the party rages on ...

Did someone mention the mutton Dutton?

Okay, okay, he's minor league these days ... there are grand plans afoot elsewhere ...

There's much comedy elsewhere ...

Now there's a reminder of the bromancer blathering about how Desanctimonious wasn't like the orange Jesus ... and speaking of him, that comedy is also continuing with horsey rides ...

But all those distractions have done their work. The pond has managed to go on endlessly while at the same time successfully filibustering its way to the final "Ned" gobbet, and oh merciful long absent lord, it's remarkably short ...

There are three certainties? 

Oh well the fourth certainty, that SloMo was a foreign policy cheenius, and "Ned" a humble scribe assigned the task of discerning his cheenius through the tea leaves and the chicken entrails vanished some time ago ...

And now in closing did the pond say that it was not going to mention that shameful spectacle again? 

Oh well if you accept talk of certainties from "Ned" then you won't mind the pond changing its mind and ending with another cartoon ...