In which the pond returns from going AWOL to find the Major MIA, but Dame Groan and the grave Sexton ready to stand in the breach...

 

A minor medical matter turned into a Major moment for the pond, forcing the pond to go AWOL yesterday.

This was a pity as the pond was looking forward to the Major explaining how freedom of speech and freedom for the media ran with a giant-sized media mogul beating up on a media minnow. 

Turned out that the pond needn't have worried because faced with a Major media issue the Major himself went missing in action.

Now the pond is doing Crikey hours to catch up, and speaking of Crikey ... and the keen Keane (paywall)

So we can take it as a “yes” that Anthony Albanese, Richard Marles and Penny Wong, as reported by Nine newspapers last week, met with Lachlan Murdoch and News Corp executives on Wednesday. While the office of Communications Minister Michelle Rowland was happy to confirm her non-participation, all we got from the prime minister, deputy prime minister and foreign minister was stony silence — despite repeated efforts to draw an answer.

Not getting an answer from the PMO is of course something we at Crikey are used to — we were persona non grata with Scott Morrison’s office as well, so maybe the old email filters and phone blocks are still in place. But the general silence is more interesting for what it says about Labor’s embarrassment about dealing with a company committed to supporting the Coalition at every turn — and which remains deeply antagonistic to even the unambitious climate action agenda Labor is pursuing.

As we noted last week, we don’t exactly know the purpose of the meeting, so Labor partisans can hold out hope it was some unprecedented laying down of the law from a Labor PM to the Murdochs. The rest of us, more cynical and jaded perhaps, can suspect that in new boss Albanese, we have someone with some traits in common with the old boss Scott Morrison — in particular, a hostility to transparency about which special interests may seek to influence policymakers and what deals might be being done to facilitate that.

But this goes beyond transparency, or the great bipartisan tradition of media moguls dictating policy (and even beyond Lachlan Murdoch’s lawsuit against Crikey).

News Corp is a threat to Australia, the US and the world. In the words of Malcolm Turnbull, it operates like a mafia gang, and “is an absolute threat to our democracy”. Joe Biden is said to have called Rupert Murdoch “the most dangerous man in the world”. The complicity of Fox News in the propagation of the Big Lie about the stolen 2020 election — a lie peddled on Australia’s Sky News as well — and the febrile atmosphere that led to the January 6 insurrection is a matter of public record in the United States.

So why are the three most senior figures in the ALP going to Lachlan Murdoch? Why are they normalising relations with a company that should be beyond the pale of any politician committed to democracy — and to the stability of the United States, which is crucial to Australia?

What’s that line about the standard you walk past is the standard you accept? That extends to walking in to visit a media mogul too.

Not that the pond missed anything else yesterday ...

Just a sampling... there was poor old Jim beating against the tide and down below were the Oreo and the Caterist doing the reptile thing, and suddenly the pond was glad to be MIA with the Major ...

As for the benefits of that meeting, the lizard Oz editorialist was standing by with sharpened quill ....

When will the ALP learn that the reptiles are not for changing? What they do is so heavily imbedded in their psyche that they could no more disavow the mango Mussolini than retreat from their love of ALP and union bashing ...

Speaking of which ...

There was the minor Milner from toad land, but then it's always been a place for rats in the ranks, and Albo might protest ...

... but here's the thing. It's not in the business model of the reptiles or rats in the ranks to chill, it's to be shit stirrers.

Long absent lord knows why George facilitates and enables them by lending his face to the commentary section ... guess it's the desire to be seen.

But the pond was surprised not to see the Groaner featured, but then after a little digging the groaning surfaced, and the pond realised at once there was no need for the Oreo and the Caterist ... not when the Groaner is in top form ...

What would have surprised - neigh, totally shocked - the pond is if the Groaner's piece had been headed "Talkfest likely to succeed ..."

The reptiles thought so highly of this groaning that they stashed it full of click bait videos, but all the pond could think of was people pissing into tents ...

By golly that haunted visage is something to see ...

Now back to Dame Groan pissing away, and the first of those carefully neutered click bait videos ...

No doubt this will fascinate expert devotees of the Groaner, but the pond was pleased to be reminded that the Groaner herself was now a member of the gig economy - the pond understands that the reptiles offer well over a penny a word, which is why she does go on - and so the Groaner is deeply enamoured of other giggers ...

Indeed, indeed, because Dame Groan getting up at ten to have coffee and pound out a feature for the reptiles is almost exactly like some poor bugger clambering on to a bike to deliver a coffee at 8 am on a chilly Sunday to some bludging hipster too fucking lazy to get out of bed ...

Meanwhile, here's a story the pond seemed to have missed, along with the reptiles ... 

Never mind, back for a final pissing in the tent ... and two more carefully neutered click bait videos ... and what do you know, Dame Groan just loves the gig economy ...

Whether the ALP thinks that doing a secretive meeting with the reptiles, busy bashing up a media minnow, will ever change the ways of the likes of the Oreo, Dame Groan and the Caterist must remain a mystery, or a chance to serve up an infallible Pope celebrating that culture of groaning ...

That's a passing fair imitation of Munch or perhaps the Groaner, but on with the bonus. 

The pond had originally planned to run the Major's piece, but as noted the cowardly custard Major went MIA, so the pond hastily turned to the grave Sexton for a bit of furriner bashing ...

Indeed, indeed, there's nothing like shipping furriners to countries like Rwanda, and it's astonishing that anyone in Britain should give a flying fuck about human rights. The long history of the empire suggested that this was a quintessential move for Tories ...

That said, it's possible to detect a whiff of white suffering in the heaving bosom of the grave Sexton ...

Of course the problem is all the fault of the perfidious French, as the grave Sexton sagely explains ...

Oh you filthy vile cheese eating surrender monkeys, with these damned furriners much preferring to fork out out squillions of pounds on heating bills, or perhaps do the solidarity thing with the locals, as per the Graudian ...

Skyrocketing energy prices mean almost one in four adults in the UK will not switch on the heating at all this winter, according to a poll, with opposition MPs describing the findings as a “national scandal”.

The survey of more than 2,000 UK adults found 23% would do without heating over the winter months. That figure was even higher for parents with children under the age of 18, with 27% saying they would be forced to leave the radiators cold.

About 70% said they would turn their heating on less, while 11% said they were considering taking out a loan to cover extra costs. That figure rose to 17% for those with children.

The poll was conducted before the regulator Ofgem announced the energy price cap would increase by 80% from October. The decision will take the average gas and electricity bill from £1,971 to £3,549 a year.

The Liberal Democrats, who commissioned the survey, called for further commitments by the incoming Tory prime minister, widely expected to be Liz Truss, to help struggling households.

“Families and pensioners across the country are making heartbreaking decisions because the government has failed to save them,” said the Lib Dem spokesperson for the Cabinet Office, Christine Jardine.

“It is a national scandal that parents are having to choose between heating their homes and feeding their children,” she said. “It shouldn’t be like this. Britain is on the brink of the worst cost of living crisis in a century and yet still Liz Truss and [rival leadership candidate] Rishi Sunak will not scrap the energy price rise.” (more at the Graudian)

There you go, children of empire. Head home to enjoy England's winter chill.

And so to a final squeak from the grave Sexton ...

Indeed, indeed, and never mind the large-scale population movements in ancient times because they were born to rule whites intent on a bit of plunder, and where's the harm in that?

And speaking of plunder, time to wrap up with an immortal Rowe, as the pond will do its best to return to usual hours, and Albo finds the fridge nicely full ...