Sunday, February 09, 2020

In which Polonius prattles a Sunday meditation ...

The pond had to hold Polonius back until it recovered its poise …

You see, the pond spontaneously burst into tears at the very thought of a Nationals hero walking away, and threatening to do his own thing, and vote how he liked … a hero turned nihilist, anarchist, gone wild and Queensland rogue, shouting a XXXX curse at the world.

SloMo cannon to right of them,
SloMo cannon to left of them,
SloMo cannon behind them
   Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and Canavan hero fell.
And sweet Barners already in hell
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of coal-denialist Death,
Back from the mouth of coal-hating hell,
All that was left of them gnats,
   Left of six hundred Nats.

The pond was deeply moved, and felt the painful blow, and so did Polonius, and so he penned a tribute as moving as Hamlet's meditation on the infinitely jesting Yorick ...

Ah, the ABC. How foolish of the pond not to recognise how the wily Polonius might work in a reference to that dreadful beast while offering a tribute to the fallen Canavan caravan … and never mind that Polonius works in the Sydney CBD, and has an intricate set of connections, often too complicated for the poor lad to remember …

...Taylor’s fate is yet to be determined but Henderson soon found himself in an embarrassing position when the ABC had to publish a correction. Henderson, a columnist for the Australian, had failed to disclose while defending Taylor that the minister’s wife, Louise Clegg, is a board member of the Sydney Institute, of which Henderson is the executive director.

Clegg and Taylor hold an indirect interest in Jam Land Pty Ltd, the company which is the subject of an environment department investigation.

“It has since come to our attention that Mr Taylor’s wife, Louise Clegg, is a board member of The Sydney Institute,” the ABC said online. “Gerard Henderson is the institute’s executive director. Mr Henderson accepts that he should have declared this association during the program but says he was unaware of Ms Clegg’s indirect interest in the company at the time of broadcast.”

Henderson told Beast that when the topic was introduced, Clegg was the last thing on his mind.

“In any event, I had no knowledge about Ms Clegg’s apparent interest in Jam Land Pty Ltd. Why should I? Moreover, as far as I am aware, this has not previously been referred to in the media. For the record, I only referred to Angus Taylor after Ms [Annabel] Crabb, Ms Middleton and Mr Marr had commented on the matter.” (here)

Yes, it was just the common folk, joined together to help out the common folk, which is why anyone who goes searching for Polonius will rarely find him in his 'leet Sydney workplace, home or den, he's out amongst the common folk, acting in a common way ...

Did much of that read like the Donald brooding over 2016, because the rosy glow of nostalgia is much more appealing than present reality, rorting and such like?

Yes, indeed, forget all that nattering "Ned" nonsense you might have read yesterday about climate, and climate action. It was the coal-loving Canavan caravan that saved the day, and without a new coal-fired hero, everything will be rooned.

And now the pond must pause for a singular outburst by Polonius, worth celebrating ...

Indeed, indeed. She voted for a fearless leader, no doubt in the way they did in 1933, or back in revolutionary times …

Well, the pond must seize the chance to slip in a cartoon every so often, and so to the last Polonius gobbet … because the point of that previous par was to compare Barners to the Donald, and how Polonius weeps that the fornicating, adulterating comeback kid somehow didn't manage to come ...

Canavan's approach? Storm off in a huff, and introduce chaos, anarchy and nihilism, uncertainty, doubt and fear? It's certainly very Donald …

And what's amazing was that Polonius wasn't the only shedder of tears …

The pond isn't going to go the full distance with the bouffant one … 

I you've acquired your Firefox app that breaks the reptile paywall, you should be able to read the full accounting. Instead, the pond will just deliver the last bout of despair at the state of things… the 'we'll all be rooned' bit with Barners and the Canavan caravan no longer out and about in the cause of all things good and just and true, and grimy and coaly …

I guess this means that the onion muncher is now well and truly gone from the reptile pages, except as an irritating gadfly. 

There are new lost heroes to mourn, coal lovers of the Canavan and Barners kind, dinosaurs doing it for mining, and fuck those silly old farmers imagining it was all about the soil …

In the old days, as Fallowfield would tell you, the answer once lay in the soil (children, ask your grandparents). These days, the answer for the reptiles still lies in the coal. But what was the question again? (How do you best fuck the planet …)

But speaking of 'roon', the pond can't help recycling a piece of undiluted joy. 

Now normally the pond wouldn't take a piece in Crikey, it being independent and all, and doing things on the smell of an oily rag …

But just as the Graudian tends the reptiles with the Beast, Crikey pays attention to News Corp …and Glenn Dyer had some most excellent news, a reminder of why Polonius and the reptiles hate and fear the ABC, and all their other rivals … (you'll have to sign up to Crikey to get the hot links and the full yarn)

By now the pond was rolling some cable-cutting jaffas down the aisle ...

Of course Foxtel had to bring the fox into the henhouse, and pretend that Netflix was part of its service … but in the streaming wars, Foxtel did a Myspace, and is now well out of the game, while the biggies lap at its ancient box-driven service …

Polonius and the bouffant one might shed a tear or two for dinosaurs of the Canavan and Barners kind, but sometimes fallen heroes just fade away, and the platform for Sky preachers of hate fall on hard times, while wretched Mormons step up to the plate, suggesting that sometimes it might pay to actually listen to a pastor ...


  1. Now let me see: the Prattling one declares: "After a career in the Productivity Commission, Canavan worked as Barnaby Joyce's chief of staff ..."

    That certainly qualifies Canavan as an "unknown warrior" alright. The pointless '(non)Productivity Commission' AND Barnaby's CoS. And his career since is just like that: mostly unknown to the rest of the world.

    But hey:
    Theirs not to reason why,
    Theirs but to do and die.

    And he's done that, alright. But I thought that "warriors" were supposed to expire valiantly in heroic battle, not take a dive off a low hanging cliff of their own making.

    1. Talk about unknown warriors, GB, who's this Keith Pitt? Ever heard of anything this 'unknown warrior' has done, outside of being a contender for the deputy leadership of the Nats?

    2. Apart from his supposed "support" for nuclear power, I've kinda heard and seen about as much of him as you have, Merc: ie "indistinguishable from zero".

      I vaguely recall that he was in the ministry at one point, though I dunno whether he ever made it to "Cabinet". But then I really had hardly heard of McKenzie either until the sprorts, though apparently she was Minster for Sport, Rural Health, and Regional Communications [note the Oxford comma].

      Which I guess tells us just how important Scotty(fM) regards those portfolios.


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