Wednesday, February 05, 2020

In which it's bad news for Barners, but lizard Oz devotees can rejoice at the return of the bromancer ...



The pond was shattered.

Barners rolled, and only by a few votes.

Woe unto the pond and the world. The cock crowed, and the fornicating, adulterating, coal loving climate denialist was refused his rightful place. And the Canavan caravan rolled out of town, to what avail? Another coal loving climate denialist brought low by the milksops, the weeds, the bloat-inducing Paterson's curse that litter the National party like bindi-eyes on a Tamworth footpath.

And where were the reptiles in all this? How can they live with the shame?

Oh the bouffant one might wag a finger …

Oh, they can hint at dark uncertainty, and division, and rats in the ranks, and they can even toss the Canavan caravan a sop, a measly bone, a column …

But is a fracking useless column from a fracking idiot enough to repair the damage done and the setting sun?

Now the pond should note from the get go that the lizard Oz readership wasn't convinced. Many of them wanted to nuke the country, and on some days, the pond is ready to nuke not just the country, but the entire planet …

Good on you Mary, better to nuke the water supply than to frack it …

Meanwhile, the man, now a classic case of irrelevance, carried on, and continued bleating from the sidelines of never mind, and who cares...

Yes, yes, there'll be pie in the sky bye and bye, though the farmers who've had their land comprehensively fracked might feel a little differently about being asked to bend over, and get a bloody good fracking …

Once upon a time, weren't the Nationals supposed to be about farming? Now it's all mining, and giving the country a bloody good fracking ...

We don't want no bloody green energy, we want dinkum clean Oz coal. Oh hang on, hang on, now we want a bloody good fracking, because the pond is supposed to believe that the Canavan caravan gives a flying frack about emissions …and the more methane the better, the climate scientists apparently say ...

Well as usual the pond turns to the immortal Rowe, more here, for a comment …

But there is good news for devotees of the lizard Oz, because at last the bromancer has returned, and in his own modest way, he's started with a little ripper of a Donald …

Indeed, indeed, but this one is a slow build, until the bromancer reaches peak punchline ...

Indeed, indeed, and meanwhile, the Donald is on a roll …

But back to the Dems, trying to unseat King George the tenth … and naturally the bromancer features wittering and twittering from the Donald, because it's the reptile way … (how quickly the reptiles forget Gore v. Bush, and the way the entire country has been comprehensively stuffed for quite some time, with the Donald just the latest, and the funniest stuff up in many a century).

Indeed, indeed, we are all Trumpians now …

But enough of all that. The bromancer is still on a roll with the Donald ...

Yes, what a spectacular success it's been …

And what grand results were achieved …

And so to that final gobbet by the bromancer, and his spectacular conclusion ...

Makes the Donald look sober, calm and reliable?

But, billy goat butt bromancer, he's the great entertainer and distracter, and apparently you missed the best tweet of all, with an oopsie and a correction …

There were cartoons ...

And there was much jocularity and hilarity … with gags about getting to Paris, Texas and being disappointed there was no Eiffel Tower, and Springfield not being the capital, and just a town in The Simpsons, or somewhere else, and so on and so forth, with much geographical confusion and town-naming in the air, and talk of other inspiring gags and attention-seeking from the narcissist jokester in chief ...

And there was even a hint of bitterness ...

Sober, calm and reliable?

Relax, that's just bromancer talk, bromancer code, for enjoying the laughter, the good times, and a country totally fucked by the Murdochians and their Putin-loving pawns, from the Donald to the pompous Pompeo, believed, if a name is any guide to anything, to be a citizen of Pompeii  …


  1. "Barners rolled, and only by a few votes."

    Ah, but was it 11-10 or 15-6 ? I've seen reference to both (guess by whom). I expect we won't know until Barners gets truly sick of waiting for his manifest destiny and spills the beans. Or McCormack gets tired of schoolboy theatrics and spills his beans. Waiting is, until fullness.

    But so very good to have the Bromancer back, DP Now we only have to wait for Maj. Mitch for the full complement to be on board.

    Though hasn't the Bromancer gone over the hills and far away. Not even Dame Slap (of the proud MAGA cap in the streets of NY) writes such inane and fatuous lionisations of the Trump nowadays.

    As to Matty-boi Canavan and his horizontal holes in the ground, well. I guess the best part of that is that he can't drag a frack into parliament to show off to his mates.

    But then, according to BP - back in 2013 but still fairly accurate - the world's supply of usable oil will be exhausted in about 50 years from now. Noting that fracking is a losing industry and many major oilfields are past their peak production and oilfields being discovered aren't as big and productive as the good old Saudi Arabian ones. Opening any number of horizontal holes in the Australian outback will nor extend that timeframe by much.

    In 50 years, Matt Canavan will be 89, so quite likely still alive; and so, very likely will be his 5 children and some number of grandchildren and maybe even a great-grandchild or two.

    And as they all enjoy the Earth's overheated 2070 climate, they will all give thanks for Matt's campaign to keep the oil-fires burning.

  2. ‘While the federal government has been waiting for an outbreak of common sense among state and territory governments, we have not been sitting idle. Three years ago the commonwealth established a gas export control regime.’ et seq.

    Apart from proving the adage about ‘common sense’ - that it is not common - this recalls the negotiations of 40 years ago between Hugh Hudson and Alan Bond, to maintain security of supply of gas from the Cooper Basin to assorted communities and industries in Australia. There was still a functioning ‘News’ in Adelaide then. Its writers went through mental convolutions in trying to interpret what the owner expected to be their own, personal, opinions on, well - socialist interference with the sanctity of ‘property’ and ‘the market’ - and the catastrophe that must follow such heresy.

    Other thought - does the comment from yesterday’s minister, that ‘price falls are starting to flow to households’, suggest that we might, just might, get a sniff of the $550 that PM Abbott promised us would come off our yearly household utility accounts, those - gosh, was it 6 years ago?

    Other anonymous.

    1. Ah yes, golden memories of Alan Bond. He was yesterday's precursor to today's Clive Palmer wasn't he.

  3. Hi DP,

    Matt Black Campervan certainly has a pained expression on his face – I always wondered where Scotty’s lump of coal ended up… he looks frucked!

    While attempting to digest his litany of lies and fractional truths the line “starless and bible-black” come to me in a left-field flash.

    The word “matt” is defined as “dull and flat” and is more often than not associated with the colour black. Matt is black…coal is black…the future’s so black I don’t need to wear shades…Pump and Frack Matt is a gas, gas, gas etc.

    Anyhoo, in light of this chromatical trivia here is a brief critique of his flatulent column inspired by the original Dylan.

    Utter Falsehood

    It is spin,
    soulless tripe
    from a small mind,
    heartless, a carbon hack,
    whose twaddle scorns science
    and whose
    hindquarter apparatus sends
    gas pumping invisibly
    down through the
    frackingtruck-clogging shale

    1. Well if that's from the Rob Zimmerman Dylan, Kez, then that's left me way behind. I sorta parted company with Bob after 'Blonde on Blonde' was released (back in 1966).

      But then according to at least one list of The Top 30 Dylan songs (**), 9 out of the top 10 came from the albums up to Blonde on Blonds.


    2. Not Robert James Zimmerman GB, but the Welsh poet Dylan Thomas. I copped the opening lines of his poem Under Milkwood.

      Of course the other Dylan, Bob, is also an inspirational favourite of mine.

    3. Ah. The only thing of his about which I know anything is "Do not go gentle". So much to learn, so little time, as Peter Sellers once had it. Oh, the limitations of not being a stable (universal) genius so I could be worshipped by the Bromancer.

      But reading the opening if UMW from your link, you do seem to have captured it and I expect DP would have caught that. And indeed, Mr Zimmerman also had, and has, his days.


Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.