Monday, September 21, 2015

Is big Mal the Bolter's new Adam Goodes?

It's probably only because the Terrorists make outrageous claims - like the Bolter being a journalist that the pond knows and trusts - that the pond then rushes off to read the Bolter in raw, undiluted form.

Warning, this experiment should only be tried at home by adults with suitable qualifications, and an antidote to kool-aid poisoning nearby ...

The scary truth is that the HUNsters photoshop skills aren't a patch on those in the Currish Snail or the Daily Terror ...

The other scary truth is that the Bolter has been flinging around the comparison with Julia Gillard for days now, suggesting that a new obsession is fomenting and fuming in his addled brain.

Combined with sentimental yearnings for the lost Tony, there's a sense that he wants to destroy the inflated usurper.

Such a grieving and a mourning and a sense of loss and martyrdom that hasn't gone away, and truth to tell will never go away ... and so the Bolter will eternally be consumed by his dreaming of the could a, should a, would a, could a been a champeen, instead of a dropkick loser ...

The notion that Abbott would have had a big win is up there with the Americans having won the war in Vietnam, except for white anters and politicians taking it away and giving it to the Commies ...

And yes, there you go, the Bolter's out there in the barking mad wilderness with Cory, a man whose grasp of the real world might seem tenuous, except that he had enough of a grasp of reality to know that a new Conservative party with him at the helm had the chance of a snowball in hell.

He understood that it will be much more fun and profitable for him to white ant away at the government from within ... because that's what parasites and termites do ... and he has a comforting ally in the Bolter along for the ride ... as the Bolter agonises over the usefulness of the arch usurper ...

So hard to let go, and already the yearning for the conservative Liberals to bring down, to destroy the Malware, is strong, even if it means they have to do a scorpion routine with the party frog.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

In short, Turnbull must dance to the Bolter's tune ... conform ... become an Abbott ... because that worked so well for Tony Abbott ... and besides, it's an already moderate government, except for the mere flim-flam that devoured it on an almost daily basis ...

And the notion that Abbott ran a moderate government surely has to be up there with the notion that Abbott would have done good in Canning, and the Americans really won in Vietnam ...

Meanwhile, back on mini planet Pluto with another hero, wan Erica ...

What this lengthy, fixated and obsessive rant tells the pond is that toff Mal isn't the new Julia Gillard of federal politics ... he's the new Adam Goodes for the Bolter.

With Goodes retired from football, who else has the Bolter got to kick from goalpost to goalpost on an almost daily basis?

The Bolter focussed on Goodes in an almost hysterical and paranoid way, and now Goodes is out of the game, he badly needs a new bĂȘte noire to rant at, a new figure to demonise, a new straw dog to poke sticks at, a new voodoo doll to blame for everything wrong in the world ...

Time to get that gris-gris out and pound away at the keyboard at the first bad poll, and every other failing the Bolter can detect?

Well it's early days yet, but we have to ask, is this a new Bolter we're seeing, or just the same old one, who like Abbott has always had to have fierce enemies available so he can be combative and triumphant ... except when he isn't ...

Could there be anything more likely to generate an enormous wave of sympathy for the copper man?

Could the Bolter and his fellow travelling shock jocks, the parrot, the thugby league man, and the more simple-minded vengeful Murdochians, like Miranda the Devine, be the only hope for Bill Shorten's survival?

Will the flurry of references to House of Cards doing the rounds so enrage the Bolter that he embarks on one of his famous crusades?

Questions, questions, but thanks to BuzzFeed, it seems that's going to be the way it goes down ...

Remember all those photos of pugilist Abbott and the mad monk and the bully of undergrad Sydney Uni? Into the dustbin as a new hagiography unfolds celebrating the inflated ursurper ...

Can the Bolter bear it?


  1. Hmmm. If Turnbull is the Liberals' Gillard, does that mean Abbott is the Liberals' Rudd? Oh what a joyous ride we'd be in for then, Dot!

  2. ...and I'm sure all Bolt's questions about whether we're seeing the new Turnbull could be answered by some deft Photoshopping on the front page of the Terror.

  3. Thus spake Boltathustra: "... Turnbull’s coup has not yet given the Liberals a poll lift big enough to justify this treachery".

    Shhh; don't mention today's Roy Morgan poll. 55-45 the LNP's way: now that is a bounce.

    Bolt reminds me of my Uni buddies who went on a week-long LSD binge. Every time the outside world intervened, one of them would say "reality, don't worry".

  4. The dog-fucker has been upstaged - by none other than David Cameron! Porcine fellatio memes are now all the go on twitter.

    1. And they thought Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror was a satire!

      ... the minute the concept of the PM fucking a pig on national TV is in everyone’s head, they can’t get it out. The initial reaction is confusion and disgust, but when attempts to green-screen the PM’s head onto someone else’s body are discovered, the Princess apparently loses a finger. That’s enough to sway opinion the other way. The PM’s humiliation and brief suffering is nothing compared to the Princess’ actual suffering; we watch as the barometer swings on news networks and what seemed almost impossible at the beginning of the hour becomes chilling reality by the end of it.

      But Cameron didn't even have the excuse of a princess in peril for a porking of the porker ...


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