Saturday, September 19, 2015

In which the pond announces the Cons of Oz and spends quality weekend time with prattling Polonius ..

Of course the pond is wildly excited and like everyone else has noticed the difference:

The pond is right behind this visionary, this fearless leader.

Oh sure, there have been the usual, obligatory denials:

But there's no doubt this is the man for the times:

A spearhead!

And everything he touches he turns to gold!

At the moment there are only a few voices in the wilderness, croaking their note of future hope:

My guest: Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi. Time we created a party for conservatives?

Because Pauline Hanson wasn't good enough and that's how the Liberals scored George Christensen.

But imagine George and Cory working together to produce a new party, doing for the Liberals what the DLP did for Labor.

What visionaries, what thinkers. The pond is standing right behind Cory, and is standing by with any number of ideas for branding. The OzCon party, or if you will the Cons of Oz is just one of many possibilities ...

What about the Spearheads?

Hmm, better get Cory working on his pecs ...

Meanwhile, the pathetic reptiles of Oz have yet to jump on the bandwagon or even realise there's a bandwagon rolling and gathering momentum like a snowball in hell ...

There's just the usual barking mad offering the usual dross about the chattering classes, as if chattering in the Oz somehow gives them an immunity from their enormous stupidity ...

And there was poor old Hendo - what do they do with senile members of the chattering class when it's time to put them out to pasture?

Only one reptile seemed to catch a whiff of the real mood, and the campaign to make Cory the leader of the nation:

And there was a chance to celebrate the wondrous legacy of the man who recently hit the revolving door of life:

Because a "Christian heritage" is just what we need to be able to handle copper wire technology and climate science ... so let's thank the long absent lord the sandgropers will shortly be sending a creationist lover to Canberra ...

And speaking of Christian heritage, the pond naturally turned to prattling Polonius for an explanation of what went wrong.

Now it turns out that if you read other sordid accounts, it seems that the blame might be equally apportioned to Chairman Rupert and the Daily Terrorists.

First the chairman:

The move was given urgency from an unexpected quarter. Rupert Murdoch. 
Turnbull had his own timetable. With about a year to the next election, he wanted time to shape his government. 
But now the executive chairman of News Corporation inadvertently accelerated the process: 
"Only hope is new poll" the executive chairman of News Corporation tweeted on September 3, three weeks after Abbott's gay marriage gambit. Murdoch endorsed Abbott as "far the best candidate". Says one of the inner group of conspirators: "That panicked a few marginal seat holders. They could see that an early election was not viable. They would lose their seats. But now Rupert Murdoch was calling for a snap election, and he's seen as being close to Abbott."

Well played tweeting Chairperson.

And then came the Terrorists and Simon Benson, who only recently published that moving elegy and tribute to his source:

...the provocation came regardless. Fortune delivered it in the form of an article in The Daily Telegraph on Friday last week: "Abbott Planning Purge of Cabinet" read the page three headline. The prime minister was about to axe up to six ministers to get rid of dead wood, said the story, and it named the six. 
The story cited an unnamed "senior source" and Malcolm Turnbull, like most of the government, immediately put a name to it: "It's a Credlin special!" he announced to MPs who rang him about the article. 
The author, Simon Benson, was reputed to be a favoured Credlin outlet. It was highly destabilising at a sensitive moment. 
Bishop, alarmed, phoned Abbott. "What on earth are you doing, this is explosive," she told the prime minister. He denied that it had come from Credlin or anyone acting on his behalf. 
An MP explains why it was so incendiary: "It ticked all the boxes, all the things he'd promised to address, nothing had changed. One, the prime minister's office is an island, it doesn't consult the party. Two, if you step out of line, Credlin will attack you through the media. Three, it showed the utter lack of any political judgment. Four, it was just the latest in a long line of endless f--- ups." 
It was the day that it became clear to Turnbull and his group that the burning house was finally, unmistakably, collapsing. They had their catalyst. (much more here).

Game set and stumbling, bumbling News Corp match.

Now the pond and Hendo are here to assert that all this is just so much rubbish.

It's actually all the fault of Crikey and Guy Rundle and the ABC and New Matilda , damned lefties the lot of them, and in the case of Crikey and New Matilda with a really huge market share...

For the irrefutable proof read on:

Yes, yes, all well and good Polonius, we know when there's dirty work to be done, it won't involve the Murdochians, it's certain to feature the ABC and the Graudian, but you do go on and on, you tedious prattler, can we just get to the bloody leftists and Crikey and Rundle and all the rest of the deviants ...

Talk about a hoot. When asked to discuss Abbott's legacy as a PM, and to list his many legislative accomplishments, prattling Polonius boldly asserted ... it is clear that ... Abbott was the most successful opposition leader in modern Australian history ...

And then the utterly feeble and pathetic wrap-up: (he) ... obviously had an impact.

Indeed. And so does a meteorite and a rocket, though what good they are when they fall to earth and turn to sticks in the mud isn't quite clear...

How tragic it is to see prattling Polonius in his dotage, though if you saw Anne Henderson on The Drum you might begin to understand why he comes across as such a browbeaten old codger and dirge ...

Hey nonny no, on with Cory we go, and while there might be more encounters with reptiles this weekend, anyone who's made it this far deserves a Pope cartoon, and a portrait of Malware which evokes many fond memories ...

Indeed, indeed, though whether the adult turns out to be vintage copper wire Playboy, like this ...

...or lives up to his cartoon caricature like this ...

... only time will tell, but in any case, the pond blames Crikey and New Matilda and that dreadful Rundle chappie ... ha ha ...


  1. Birmo! Flano! Hartcho! Top stuff, no wonder Hendo is peeved.
    Cory could do no better than look for guidance in Why Hungary is so awful to refugees.
    What Orban started saying immediately is "why were the banks willing to lend you this money in currency? It was that the bankers are trying to make money off of you. And who are the bankers?" And then everyone can say, in unison, "Jews!"
    Lots of proven, copy-book hints for success right there. Cory needs only a couple of ultra-nationalist loonies to his right, and that gentle Judeo-Christian meme will be just what the country needs.

  2. I refuse to phonic our Christian heritage down, by God, and I hope the national broadcaster might join me in looking for the good and boosting our country, which has so much potential.

  3. I don't know where Polonius stands with regard to Enoch Powell, but he might find some solace in EP's wisdom that would have saved readers of The Australian a whole column: "For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea."

    A great double value quote - it hoses Polonius down on the subject of Abbott, AND it invokes the word "captain".

    Thanks Enoch.

    1. Watch the way Polonius constantly makes outrageous comments as asides, then quickly moves on with his argument. It's quite effective in interviews, because there's usually a considerable period before the interviewer can get a word in and challenge his assertion. It's not so effective when he writes. An example? His passing claim that Abbott lost the leadership vote 'albeit by a small margin'. A margin of over 10% is 'small'?
      And why isn't he jumping up and down about Ray Hadley's interview with Scott Morrison, decrying the hostility and bias of the right wing media against the government?

  4. The question in my mind is what did The Chairman know? Did he secretly support Turnbull? His tweets make sense in that light.

  5. DP,

    It was said somewhere that Turnbull's ascension created a "sugar hit" in the polls. This might be why:

    Malcolm "Sugar Bun" Turnbull?

    Why Australia's PM is now 'sugar bun' in China


  6. Hi Dorothy,

    It's curious that the Rundle article, Henderson quotes with such disdain can only be read by those who have a subscription to Crikey.

    Does Gerard have such a desperate need to be outraged that he actually pays for the privilege?


  7. "charm, empathy and civility"! "Nope, nope, nope", to use Abbott's most famous three-word slogan.

  8. If, as Gerard asserts, "There is something overwhelmingly self-indulgent when a journalist interviews other journalists about journalism", then what can we say about a journalist (?) who subsequently creates an entire column by reporting on that interview? I think it may be time for poor Gerard to move over and let the dumb Watch Dog have more access to his typewriter (I'm pretty sure he wouldn't use a word processor).


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